(C) 2011 Howard McQueen
Yesterday afternoon I crawled into bed
feeling like all my friends and family had died.
Not quite knowing it, I came to realize
that I felt, deeply, situationally depressed.
I felt this in my eyes,
as a deeply draining vacuum,
sucking the life out of my vision for a future,
without any room or possibility
for any joie de vivre.
Back into this moment,
this time around
the inner voice of intuition asks of me
"when have you ever felt like this (before)?"
And the answer within returns
"About ten years ago,
when my wife, at-that-time
was diagnosed as clinically depressed
and I followed suit and became situationally depressed."
Like cloudy weather,
circumstances in our life are bound and determined to repeat,
offering us the opportunity to intentionally make a choice.
Do we follow at the beck and call of surface circumstances?
I choose to get out of bed and make myself a cup of caffeinated chai.
As I walk past my now current wife,
who had fifteen minutes ago, with a worried look, tucked me into bed,
she asks
"What was it contributed to your abrupt about-face and turn-around?"
We both talk through all the stressor-triggers
currently running within our life circumstances,
and we realize these for what they really are - just surface conditions.
We both agree to work through what lie underneath these
and know that life will flow on
and our love will grow,
and deepen,
as these surface conditions shift and change and dissove
and fall away.
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