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On the day of the takeover of the Capitol, I stopped to chat with my neighbor, who filled me in on what was happening. He asked me to say a prayer for our country, which I later did. It went a little something like this, “May we all find the peace that we seek and share that peace with the world.” Today, while reflecting on the recent events at the Capitol and the drama that continues to ensue, the impulse to write arose and here is the result:

There Was a Time…
By Trey Carland

There was a time I carried guns.

There was a time I marched on the State Capitol to protest an injustice.

There was a time I would have marched armed to fight for justice.

There was a time I was outraged at others who threatened justice and equality.

There was a time I was deeply involved in politics.

There was a time I feared the government was stripping away our rights.

There was a time I was fascinated by conspiracy theories.

There was a time I saw doom as a direct impact of what was happening.

There was a time I judged others for being ignorant of what is true and right.

There was a time I thought I chose my beliefs because they were true.

There was a time I realized all beliefs are built on lies.

There was a time I saw that others can’t be any other way than they are.

There was a time I would say, “Forgive them for they know not what they do.”

There was a time I saw myself as the other.

There was a time I saw there is no other.

There was a time I realized there is no Me, no You, no Us, no Them. Just This.

There was a time I saw it all unfolding with a divine intelligence for the betterment of all.

There was a time I saw the perfect timing of everything, and that time is always Now.

There was a time I saw that the Divine is always inviting itself to wake up and radiate peace in the world.

When asked to summarize his teachings in one word, Ramana Maharshi said, “Attention.” That struck home in a deeper way the most recent time I heard it. I thought he would have said, “Silence,” because that what his preferred method of teaching. But his answer makes perfect sense. His teachings on Self-inquiry are all about directing attention from the world of thoughts and objects to the source of attention. Attention has been described as focused Awareness and is the “tool” (if we can call it that) through which things are known. Without attention on something, it is unregistered as existing. For most people, attention is focused on thoughts much of the time and can seem like it’s getting “lost in thought” on a regular basis. But the purpose of inquiry is to withdraw attention from thoughts and the world and direct it toward Awareness. Ramana’s teaching recommended using the simple question, “Who am I?” and then direct attention toward the “I-thought” to which that question points. It’s a simple but powerful way to see through the illusion of separation.

Because of its simplicity and directness, Self-inquiry is also referred to as the direct path to Self-realization (aka Enlightenment, Awakening, Happiness, etc.). Inquiry is a practice that came alive in me a few years ago as I was absorbing teachings from Mooji and Rupert Spira (to name just a few). Then, Dan Kelso and Deep Self Investigation (http://deepselfinvestigation.com) entered the picture about a year ago or so. My work with Dan and DSI over the last year has taken Self-inquiry to a new level and has led to numerous breakthroughs, increased clarity and less identification with the imagined separate self (aka character, ego, etc.). DSI introduced new questions (beyond the traditional, “Who am I?”) and a new way of directing attention. This practice has led to more inquiry questions, all aimed at directing attention toward Awareness and “seeing” what we truly are.

The Nature of Attention

I have talked with Dan K about the nature of attention on a few occasions and discovered that, on the one hand, it seems to have a will of its own and goes where it wants, when it wants. On the other hand, it appears that there is some limited capacity to “control” where it goes. For example, if I say, “Direct attention toward your left foot,” attention would most likely go to your left foot. If I say, “What’s that over there?” and point to an object, attention will most likely go toward that object. Since the invitation of Self-inquiry is to withdraw attention from the world of objects and thoughts and turn toward its aware Source, redirecting attention is the key.

That said, I have found that asking a good question is one of the best ways to direct attention. We are all conditioned from the time we are young to answer questions, which involves directing attention toward where we think we will find the answers. Once on the path of awakening, it becomes clear that the answers to Life’s most important questions are not found “out there” or even in the mind, but instead found in its Source. How do we find the Source? Ask a question that leads attention to it.

Another good thing about a teaching based on asking questions is that the questioner gets to discover the answer firsthand, instead of believing it secondhand. Secondhand information is what our identities are built on, so it’s time to discard it and rely only on firsthand information. All of the good teachers out there will tell you, “Do not believe what I say, check for yourself.” If we could believe ourselves into Self-realization there would be a lot more wakefulness in the world. Instead, it has to be experienced directly in order for true transformation to take place.

Line of Questioning

A number of inquiry questions have come to this character through various teachers (i.e. Dan Kelso, Rupert Spira, Mooji, Robert Adams, Ramana, Nisaragadatta, etc.). New questions started coming to the surface as I began exploring the nature of Consciousness, so I have been keeping a list of questions that have been useful for inquiry and hope it will be beneficial to “others” on the same path.

So, consider this an invitation to let go of all your beliefs and ideas about Enlightenment, Awakening, Self-realization, Awareness, Consciousness, etc., and put all of the teachings aside. All of that goes with the rest of the secondhand information we’ve accumulated. Then, sit with each of these questions and look with your own direct experience to where they point. These questions are not designed to be answered with the mind. They are intended to invite attention to discover the experiential answer. [Audio recordings of these are available at https://anchor.fm/trey-carland ]

Inquiring into the Senses

First, we will inquire into the senses. After reading each of these questions, repeat them over and over again a few times (out loud or in your mind) and direct attention to where they are pointing.

What is looking through these eyes?

What is aware of what’s being seen?

What is aware that seeing is happening?

Is what I’m seeing being seen from behind my eyes, or is it being seen where it is?

Where does seeing take place?

What hears these sounds?

What is aware of what’s being heard?

What is aware that hearing is happening?

Are these sounds being heard in my ears, or are they being heard somewhere in space?

Where does hearing take place?

Inquiring into the Body

Next, we will explore into the body in a similar way. Direct attention toward the feeling of aliveness in the body. Close your eyes and get a feel for the energetic experience of the body. Once you are feeling its alive energy, ask the following questions:

What is experiencing the body?

Is the body is being experienced from all around, both from inside and out?

Is the experience of body just a sensation floating in an aware space?

Am I this aware space that experiences the body, or am I the body?

Inquiring into Thoughts

Now, let’s use thoughts to do some further exploration. The following questions will become the thoughts you are investigating when you repeat them in the mind.

From where do these thoughts arise?

What hears the voice of these thoughts?

What’s here prior to and in between thoughts?

Where are thoughts being perceived from?

Are these thoughts appearing in my head, or are they just appearing in an aware space?

Am I this aware space, or am I the thoughts?

Inquiring into Awareness

Once you have connected with Awareness a few times, it’s time to get to know it (so to speak). This bears repeating. These questions are not designed to be answered with the mind. Each question is intended to invite attention to explore the nature of Awareness and become familiar with it. The answer is experiential.

Am I aware?

What does it feel like to be aware?

What does the experience of just being aware feel like?

Is there a stillness here?

Is there a sense of peace here?

Is there a sense of just being aware here?

Is there a sense of aliveness here?

Is there a sense of existing here?

What is it that’s aware of all that?

Is this aware stillness what I am?

Am I just Awareness?

Is this person I call “me” just an experience in Awareness?

What is it like to just be Awareness?

Does this Awareness feel contained by the body, or is the body contained by Awareness?

Does this Awareness have a location, or is it everywhere?

Does this Awareness have any limits, or is it infinite?

Does this Awareness come and go, or is it ever-present?

Does this Awareness ever move, or is it always Here?

Does this Awareness have any preferences, or is it all accepting?

What is it like to just be aware?

What is it like to know yourself as Awareness?

You may find some of these questions more fruitful for exploration than others. You may also find that the questions that resonate now may be different in a few days/weeks/months. Sometimes just changing a word or two in a question can change how it is received, so feel free to put your own spin on them. After doing inquiry for a while, you may also find new questions arising organically. I would also encourage you to take these questions with you during your day. When you find one that resonates, ask it while you are engaged in everyday activities. Don’t leave inquiry sitting on a meditation cushion. Awareness is always happening and is available for exploring anytime, anywhere.

More Inquiry Questions

Here are some additional questions to explore.

What is this “I”?

What is the nature of my Self?

What is it that does not come and go?

What hasn’t changed since I was born?

[Speaking out loud] Who is talking right now?

What is it like to really take all this in?

What is it like to experience happiness (or joy, bliss, love, etc.)?

Does happiness feel like a natural state?

What is it like to experience the Stillness underneath everything?

Fundamental Tenets of Ramana’s Teachings

The following are things that Ramana wanted people to know up front regarding doing inquiry practice (or sadhana). So, I probably should have put it up front as a disclaimer. However, I didn’t run across these tenets until I had been doing inquiry for quite a while, so I know it doesn’t really matter when it gets conveyed, as long as it is conveyed.

“Firstly, that we are all Realised here and now and that the only purpose of sadhana is to remove the idea that we are not;

Secondly, there is no individual self to extinguish because the individual self never at any time existed;

Thirdly, no amount of mental sadhana is helpful because the mind cannot do anything except extend the frontiers of its own ignorance.”

Where do thoughts come from?  They seem to just appear out of the silence of our mind.  They come in the form of words predominantly, but also images.  No one else can hear them or see them, which makes them very private and personal.  For the most part they are purely unintentional and random, but we take this voice in the head to be the only authority on what’s true and what’s not.  Therefore, thoughts make up who we think we are and who we think the rest of the world is.

Are thoughts really real though?  Can you hear them?  Are they at all tangible?  Think a phrase, like, “I am thinking these words,” and listen to see if they are audible.  Turn up the volume by thinking, “I AM YELLING IN MY HEAD!!!”  Do you hear anything?  Just listen to the silence that remains after the thoughts subside.  As you mentally yell, talk, daydream, etc., there is still only silence, before, during and after all thoughts.  Thoughts are like ghosts from the past, only we think they’re real and true.  No one else knows what we’re thinking, so we’re all living in our own little dream world covered up by invisible, inaudible words that govern how we live our lives.

It’s probably safe to say that thoughts are the number one cause of pain, suffering and death in the world.  Stressful thoughts lead to all forms of dis-ease.  Beliefs, which are simply organized bundles of thoughts, are what fuel wars between nations, and create great strife among people.  People don’t kill people.  Thoughts kill people.  This quote from Eckhart Tolle’s book, “The Power of Now,” sums it up nicely. “The human mind is a complex tool that can be used to solve all manner of problems, but it is also the source of all problems.”

Earlier today I heard my wife say, “Just thinking about it stresses me out.”  That pretty much sums up the source of stress in this world.  “It” doesn’t cause the stress, but “thinking about it” does.  The goings on are not necessarily stressful without negative thinking to accompany them.  Everyday events are just happenings before judgments (thoughts) enter the picture.

Let’s see what happens when we impose thoughts on the play of life.  Think of something stressful, whether it be something that has actually happened or just a hypothetical situation.  It could be anything from an argument or an embarrassing situation you once encountered, or to what you would like to say to someone who frustrates you, or even how you would feel if you lost someone near to you.  Take a moment to feel what happens in your body when you think about that situation...  Does your body tighten up?  Dig into that sensation that the thoughts trigger and feel that feeling in your body...  Do you feel emotional?  Don’t tell a story about how you feel, just see what it feels like to think that thought.

Now, ask yourself, “What’s really real, the thoughts in my head, or what’s here, now?”  Look around at your immediate surroundings.  Don’t label anything, just take it all in.  Is there anything to stress about when you don’t go mentally looking for a problem?  Fictitious scenarios in your head can seem real enough to cause bodily harm, whether it’s in the form of stress, tension, or emotional upset. These symptoms can not exist without the help of thoughts, which we’ve already determined to be less true than your direct experience of the present moment.

Unfortunately, thinking is largely incessant, repetitive, involuntary and counter productive to living a fulfilling life.  However, the challenge here is not to stop thinking.  That would be as maddening as being stuck in compulsive thinking.  For example, when I get a song stuck in my head that won’t go away, it gets frustrating when I try to make it go away simply because I’ve made having it stuck there into a problem.  The mind’s job is to generate thoughts, so they will keep on coming.

However, we spend a great deal of time each day not thinking, and touching base with those countless gaps between thoughts is very beneficial.  Those are the short-lived moments of peace that get overlooked.  “What peace? I haven’t experienced any peace lately,” you might say if you have been stuck in compulsive thinking a lot lately.  But the peaceful gaps are there, and you can find them once you know what to look for.  Then, it’s just a matter of looking as often as you can remember.

How to Step out of Compulsive Thinking

There are a myriad of teachings that can be used to “get into the gap” between thoughts, many of them involve a formal meditation practice, which turns some people off.  I don’t have a formal meditation practice myself, though there are definitely benefits to having one.  Instead, my methods of becoming mentally quiet involve simply directing of attention away from thoughts (the self imposed labels I have ascribed to the world around me) to what lies underneath, and becoming fully present.  

It seems that asking questions of oneself works quite well at directing attention, which is why asking questions like, “Who am I really?” or, “What is looking through these eyes?” are popular methods of seeing what lies below/behind/before thoughts.  In addition to self inquiry, there are a few other questions I’ve found helpful lately.  One is, “Am I thinking now?” Ask the question of yourself, then look at where your thoughts would ordinarily be.  Are there thoughts present now?  Look around in the mind with the mind’s eye (so to speak) to see if you can find a thought....

Most likely you will find only silence when you go looking for thoughts, but if you find thoughts are present bring you’re full attention to them and recognize them as just thoughts.  When you become aware of your thoughts, you assume the position of the witnessing presence that you truly are and thoughts tend to dissipate when that happens, leaving behind that gap of “no mind” as it is sometimes called.  Once thoughts can be witnessed impartially, they lose their addictive quality and can be more easily let go.  Remember not to make getting sucked back into compulsive thinking into a problem, because it’s not until you make it into one.

Eckhart Tolle suggests a very similar approach to silencing the mind, wherein you ask yourself, “I wonder what I am going to think next?”  Then, “Watch the mind like a cat watches a mouse hole,” as he says.  When thought occurs, simply ignore it and return to watching.  This puts you in a state of alert attentiveness that is very conducive for meditation, or simply getting out of your head.

In addition to looking for thoughts, which ironically tends to quiet the mind, there is another little pointer that has worked for me.  Ask yourself, “What is the sound of sunshine?”  Listen closely for it.  Surely it makes a sound, even if it’s so quiet no one hears it.  Direct all of your attention toward hearing the sound of sunshine....

That question points toward the underlying silence that is always here.  That silence is the only real constant in our lives, and it is the peace we’ve been searching for.  It’s always here, right under our noses, before thoughts and ideas start to muddy the waters.  As Byron Katie likes to ask, “Who would you be without your story?”  The simple answer is alert, aware, ever present stillness (a.k.a Peace-Love-Bliss).

In Peace,
Trey

I had a nice conversation with a friend of mine who reached out for some support regarding feelings of anxiety that had become a recurring theme. It's a common feeling we've all felt at one time or another and possibly a feeling that is being triggered more frequently by all of the things going on in the world. My friend seemed to benefit from the words I shared so I thought it might be helpful to put them out there for public consumption. Though this conversation dealt specifically with anxiety, which is just another flavor of what we call fear, the same practice could be used with other emotions as well.

First, check to see whether there is a feeling of anxiety currently being experienced. It's helpful if the sense of anxiety is already present, but it can also be conjured up by thinking thoughts that have triggered anxiety in the past. Once you notice that anxiety is present, I invite you to investigate what it feels like. How do you know anxiety is present? What does anxiety feel like? Try to describe the experience of anxiety and how it is recognized. Typically, there is a sense of tightness in the body, often accompanied by a quickening heartbeat. In the case of my friend, he equated the feeling with a sense of stage fright one might encounter when being asked to give a presentation to a large audience.

Once you become familiar with the experience of anxiety, it's time to explore it. First, we drop the label “anxiety” and remove it from the equation. Then, we direct attention toward the sensations present in the body. By removing the label “anxiety” and examining it experientially, it creates an impartial space for the experience. A good question to ask at this point is, “Is this anxiety, or just the movement of energy?” If it can be clearly seen as the movement of energy and not anxiety, then a new relationship to the sensation begins to form.

In the example of anxiety, I like to use the metaphor of a roller coaster. If you can remember what it's like to be on the uphill climb on a roller coaster, getting closer to the top, you might have experienced a similar energetic movement in the body with tension and a quickening heart rate. Anticipation of the unknown is the root. One could just as easily label this experience as “excitement.” Once you crest the top of the roller coaster and plummet downwards, there is a rush of energy as the anticipation gives way and transforms into exhilaration as you realize you are safe. If there is a sense of trust that you are safe, then surrender gives way to delight. This analogy might not be helpful if you are not a fan of roller coasters but seeing this energetic sensation we call anxiety in a different light can enable us to see that it is similar in nature to excitement. It is a movement of energy, plain and simple. By not giving it a label like “fear” or “anxiety” it does not feed into a story that perpetuates its presence, nor does it create a problem out of the simple movement of energy.

So, when this energy arises, simply asking the question, "Is this anxiety or is this the movement of energy?" can transform our perception of it. In the case of my friend, asking this question caused the sensation to dissipate, but he noticed that it quickly rose again. I brought up the roller coaster metaphor again and indicated that roller coasters usually have multiple peaks and valleys rather than just one, and that asking this question each time it arises may gradually weaken the intensity and frequency of the movement of energy. Simply by seeing it impartially can diminish the energy’s ability to fuel stressful thoughts. He really liked this approach because it was remarkably simple and only involved asking one question.

I invite you to use the same question for whatever types of emotions might be recurring themes in your experience. The investigation can deepen but it's typically helpful to clear a pathway, so to speak, before diving deeper into the roots of suffering. Feel free to let me know how it goes.

In peace,
Trey

Happy New Year, everybody!

We have been taught since we were old enough to learn that we are the body. But once you’ve had a glimpse of your True Nature as Awareness, that belief begins to get undermined. With subsequent realizations, non-dual moments, awakening experiences, etc., when there is a dis-identification with the body, the belief upon which the whole story of “you” was built begins to weaken. It can be unsettling when the “you” you thought you were begins to appear more like a figment of imagination. I’ve had many experiences of Pure Being, where Trey is seen to just be an experience of Awareness. As a result of those moments of clarity, subtle beliefs are being seen through. Doubt is falling away, leaving a growing acceptance of not being a person. The ripple effect of the implications of that fact are being felt in the form of waves of Joy and Gratitude. The effort it requires to be a separate self has become clear, as has the effortlessness of just Being.

One of the challenges for me has been around the sense of being Awareness housed in the body. I know it’s not true from direct experience, but there is a feeling of closeness to Trey’s body and mind and a sense that he is the focal point of experience. However, just because the body feels "close" to “you” does not make it who you are. I have been inquiring into the sense of being located in the body and would like to share some things that have helped “me” see through this illusion. We start by looking at where our current experience is being experienced from.

Notice where the hands are right now. That's not something you planned out obviously, but there they are. Close the eyes and see if you can feel the hands. Now try to get a sense for where they are located. When you do this, you might notice that you subtly (or even unconsciously) use a reference point in order to pick a location in space to assign the hands too. If you don't have a reference point for location purposes, then the experience of the hands is just there, in space somewhere. Check to see where they feel located in reference to nothing.

Now notice where the feet are. With the eyes closed try to get a sense of where the feet are located. Some reference point might tell you that they are further down below where the hands are. That involves another reference point. But take away the point of reference and notice that the feet are just where they are, in space somewhere.

With the eyes closed pay attention to the feeling of the face. If you can't feel the face, then smile and feel what it feels like to smile. See if you can get a location on the smiling face. Does it feel closer than the hands and feet? If so, that means you are using the body (head more specifically) as a reference point. But without that reference point, isn't the smiling face also just floating in space somewhere?

Now notice the thoughts. If you're not currently thinking any thoughts, then I recommend you think the thoughts, blah, blah, blah. As those thoughts arise, see if you can get a location on them. Where are they located? Do they seem to be higher up then the smiling face? Again, when you remove the reference point of something, aren't thoughts also just appearing somewhere in space?

Now, with your eyes closed, direct attention toward the whole body. Feel the aliveness in all parts of it simultaneously. Where is the body located? If we aren’t using the body as a reference point for locating it, it too appears to be floating in an aware space, with no particular location. Can you sense the body as just one more object being noticed in this aware space that contains everything? This aware space doesn’t have a particular location or reference point. Everything is just in it.

The only thing making something feel closer than another is that we have been taught to use our bodies as a reference point, which is necessary for practical purposes. However, the invitation here is to see what it’s like not to rely on the body as a reference point. Then, what we are noticing through the senses, with no interpretation of close vs. far away, is where it is. The idea of here and there disappears and everything is just here, in an aware space.

Now that there is an experience of space between and around the body/mind, pay attention to the space that all of these thoughts and sensations are floating in. It’s like a bowl of Awareness soup that has different ingredients floating in it (a chunk of meat, a tablespoon of thought and a few dashes of sights and sounds). See if you can get a sense that this Awareness soup feels more like what you are and that the body and thoughts are just floating around in it. Enjoy the yummy soup :)

© 2012 Howard McQueen

Everything made of love

 and everything made of fear

 is alive,

 incubated and harbored in the human mind.

Ours is a journey of discernment,

 of recognizing where love has gone astray

 and escaped in the forms of anger,

 distrust, sadness, depression  …

Ours is both an inward journey,

 As well as an outward journey.

We may try to cloister ourselves from the external fear.

We may endeavor to sweep under-the-carpet the internal fear.

It would seem such a tall calling

  to wrestle with such an abundance of fear.

And yet, it is but the echoes and triggers within us

  that are our responsibility.

In truth, we are born,

  into this living invitation

  to experience all of this Odyssey.

In accepting the invitation,

  we grow our capacity to discern

  and offer others an example of the resilience and connection

  offered through expressing love.

~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~~   ~~    ~~~

I hope you are all doing well and remaining healthy. I'm feeling called to share something I wrote that came from my work with with inquiry and the pandemic. What helped me could be of use to someone else looking for peace in this very surreal world we inhabit.

In peace,
Trey

Symptoms of Peace in a Pandemic

If you are like most people on the planet Earth right now, then you have most likely been experiencing a lot of fear. There is an undercurrent of fear coursing through the veins of humanity as many of us contemplate planetary doom. After all, there is a virus spreading around the globe leaving death and suffering in its wake. It's perfectly natural to feel anything from unease to full-on panic. The precautionary measures being taken to limit social gatherings and thereby slow the spread of this virus, though helpful and necessary, have contributed to the growing fear many people are experiencing. Fear is not a problem. It's the body's natural response to external circumstances. A biological survival mechanism in the human entity. But it's also an invitation to look deeper and to investigate the purpose and origins of fear.

What is it you are really afraid of? I invite you to sit with that question for a couple of minutes and possibly even make a few notes.

Are you afraid of dying? Are you afraid of suffering? Are you afraid of someone close to you dying or suffering? What is it that triggers fear? It might be helpful to envision your worst-case scenario for this pandemic. We typically try to avoid thinking about such things but remain governed by the stories that play over and over.

I did this and came up with a scenario of Trey being patient zero in Asheville who contracted the virus from one of his Uber passengers. He had a slight cold before all of the social distancing measures took place and didn’t think much of it. Little did he know he was a carrier of the virus. He then he proceeds to spread it to everyone he encounters. His friends, family and passengers start getting sick and dying while he remains fine. Investigators looking for the common thread in these cases trace the source back to me. My picture is on the news warning people who have had contact with me to get tested. I’m guessing some variation of this scenario is playing in the minds of many right now.

After letting the mind ruminate on fearful stories, I invite you to investigate what fear feels like in the body. Sit quietly with your eyes closed and get in touch with fear. Rather than turn away from it or distract yourself from feeling it, feel it. Experience it. What does it feel like to be afraid? Is there tightness in part of the body? Is there a tingly sensation, vibration or a sense of numbness somewhere? Really look. See what it is to be afraid on a physical level. How the body reacts to fear.

Once you get a feel for it, take away the label of “fear.” Without the word fear to describe the experience, what is it? What is this tightness or nausea or dizziness or whatever feeling you are experiencing, without the word “fear” to hold it all together? It is an energetic experience. A cluster of sensations. Notice that you are aware of these sensations, but the sensations are not who you are. You are not the sensations because you can witness them. If you were these sensations, then you would not be able to notice them because you would be one with them.

Now, ask yourself, “What is it that is aware of the sensations in the body?” Then, direct attention toward the aware space around these sensations. See if you can get a feel for this empty aware space that notices the body's sensations, as well as thoughts. Notice that there is a Stillness, with no objective qualities, that surrounds these sensations and thoughts. What is that?

There's something that we could call a witnessing presence that serves as the backdrop of all experience. That aware presence cannot be seen, heard, or in any way be defined. But it can be experienced. The experience of it could be called Peace. Some teachers refer to this as finding your True Nature. With its discovery, you realize that you are the peaceful backdrop of all experience and not the person who is experiencing it. To know that is to be free.

No matter what happens, what you truly are (Peace, Stillness, Awareness) will be unaffected. What you truly are is what remains eternally present, witnessing as things come and go, in an omnipotent alive energy that holds everything.

Recognizing yourself as this aliveness puts feelings like fear into perspective. It's just an energetic experience in the aware space that contains it all. Our True Nature is unaffected by what happens to the person. The human being, like everything else in existence, is just an experience.

So, what happens to the Trey as patient zero story when seen from this perspective? Well, he becomes more conscious of germ spreading, starts sanitizing more often, goes grocery shopping and begins distancing. But I now see that Trey is a cell in the organism we call the Universe. And that cell will fulfill its purpose. Trey certainly wouldn’t have chosen to be the cell to carry a virus that could inflict harm on other cells. But if that’s what happened, he had no choice but to be that one. Nature, in its infinite wisdom, is running everything. Trey can now experience a sense of Trust, that no matter what happens, all is as it was meant to be. Nature is experiencing an infinite number of cells, each of them fulfilling their purpose for the overall good of the organism.

All cells will die, but Nature never does. Nature is currently using the Trey-cell to invite the you-cell to consider the possibility that you are not the cell, but actually that alive space of Nature that experiences the cell. Nature is encouraging you to go look for your Self and see if you find One? Feel free to report back your findings, if you find anything, or even if you don’t :)

Rx for impending doom:

Go for a walk in Nature. Spend time smiling at the plants, trees, sky, clouds, etc. Express your gratitude for the opportunity to experience Life in all its richness. Remember that whether it's beautiful forests, sunsets, wars or plagues, Nature is at work. Inhale the breath of Nature. Let it fill your lungs with alive energy. What a gift it is to exist and witness this awe-inspiring Universe unfold.

Something that has become undeniable to me, is the presence of a sacredness that is infused within all people and all things.

It is a sense of great beauty that fills my whole being with love. Ever since this sacredness made itself known to me, or any other words, ever since I realized I am this sacredness, or essence, or presence, a deep healing and restoration of true sanity began to take place.

There is a sense that every place of division inside myself is being brought out to the surface, to be seen, and held in the ultimate embrace of love.

It has been a very deep, physical process. All the internal blocks and emotion pain is coming to the surface. At times I feel on fire, like a kind of psychic birth is occurring. There is a tender wound in my heart that is crying and singing in gratitude to finally come home into the arms of love, of god.

There is a deeply sad and crying child inside of me that has always longed to be held and embraced. There is a place of longing inside that has been here my whole life, that is finally being fulfilled.

I truly feel in love, DEEPLY in love.

Love,

Dylan

Hello, everybody. I invite you to join me on  AwakeningClarityNow.com for a new 35 minute video,
"The Way of Truth" which I just published.

© 2012 Howard McQueen 

All the inner voices,

calling out for attention;

some of them advocating for discord.

And yet,

quietly,

patiently,

there is also a soft voice calling forth from a simple wholeness.

It is not the loudest.

It lacks the drama carried by the other voices.

And, yes, even when you clearly hear it,

you still sometimes clam up into a forced silence,

denying yourself your own wholeness,

and authoring additional suffering.

That you are now clearly hearing the soft voice

is such a fine sign.

You are one step closer to embracing your misplaced love for yourself.

Remain courageous.

Love is at your door

and,

is not to be deceived

and,

is not to be denied

and

is not leaving.

What do we want from life?  Universally, people want happiness.  The problem is that all too often what people think will make them happy fails to do so; it may even end up making them miserable.  We are looking for happiness in things and circumstances and relationships when this is a short-sighted understanding of the true nature of happiness.  It is the most elemental teaching of Buddhism that all things, circumstances and relationships are inherently unstable, and when they change or wear out or go away, so does our happiness.  Because of this, our lives are dominated by continuous movement of action and mind pursuing circumstances that will bring happiness, and this is an invariably failing strategy.

There is an alternate translation for the word that is usually translated as “suffering” attributed to Buddhism, and it is, “unsatisfactory.”  This is much closer to what Buddhism is getting at than the overtly terrible experiences we usually attribute to the word suffering.  It’s the itch we cannot scratch, the general feeling that our lives are not as balanced, peaceful, wise, happy as they might be.  It’s just OK – with some sense of an unsatisfactoriness that we are always running from while we run toward what we think will bring us more happiness, or at least, hold unhappiness at bay.  Our lives are marked by endless movement and distraction, beginning with endless movement and distraction in our minds, reviewing and planning our strategies in the pursuit of happiness and the avoidance of unhappiness.

So what is this “sitting” that is at the heart of Buddhist practice?  In a way, it can be looked at as a way to work with, understand, and master the restless movement and distraction in our lives, to really get in touch with this “unsatisfactoriness.” We will come face-to-face with this unsatisfactoriness when we sit in meditation as boredom, restlessness, and aversion to just letting things be naturally what they are as  we encounter what it feels like to be still, to stop our habitual movement and searching for stimulation. 

We experience that while, for a short time, anyway, it isn’t a problem to make the body still, what we soon realize, in a manner we only dimly understood previously, is how resistant our minds are to being still.  And so, we sit there, attempting to follow the instructions for meditation – focusing awareness on breathing, noticing the activity of the mind and how it distracts us from focusing on our breathing, and returning awareness to the breathing.  Simple instruction, but - it is unbelievably challenging.  Along the way, since we are focusing awareness, and experiencing the breathing and the activity of the mind, we begin to notice the content and themes of the mind.  We notice how judgmental our minds are.  We notice how it has difficulty staying in the present moment, how it careens between past and future.  We notice how when judgmentalism and past and future come together we experience distressing and uncomfortable emotions.  We want to stop this.  We want to be distracted from this.  We want to stop sitting and go “do something.”

And then…. As we stay with the sitting, as we stay with the breathing, as we stay with awareness, for a moment, the mind becomes quiet.  There is an experience of balance.  There is a feeling of what it is to just be.  It is spacious and comfortable. It has the feel of absolute sanity. Then, the compulsion of the mind to go back into movement, into judgment, out of time, returns, and we’re back to our anxieties, our tensions, our unsatisfied mind.  A great discovery is made.  We have touched Heaven while doing nothing – not even thinking, - and we have gotten a glimpse of the source of Hell.  We discover that we are capable of happiness and well-being, not as the result of something we do, but by stopping all the doing to discover who we really are.

Guardian Angels are thought to be spiritual beings that are "assigned" to assist people here on Earth in various ways. Whether there is one angel per person, one angel for several person or several angels for one person is open to question. But whether you believe in them or not, or whether you want one or not, believers insist that you do have a guardian angel. What is their assignment? According to "Encounters of the Angelic Kind" at Future365 (now defunct), "they intercept at many junctures in our lives and help wherever they can to make our lives run smoothly. Sometimes this is by inspiring a thought to spur us into action, at others it is to lend us super-human strength, such as in the case of a woman being able to lift a car long enough to free her trapped child. Or we hear of a runaway truck, with an unconscious driver at the wheel, inexplicably swerving sharply at the last moment to avoid a bus stop queue of people. In fact, there are many instances, which are often put down to luck, coincidence or even a miracle, but which have the touch of a hand of light behind it." So why don't angels come to a person's aid every time it's asked for? Sometimes, the article contends, "angels must stand back, whilst giving loving support only, as we work things out for ourselves - these are the times when we feel alone, the dark before dawn."

*~* *~* *~* *~* *~*

I give now, unconditional Love and Respect to all who read this message.

Hello, everybody! I'm once again inviting you to come check out AwakeningClarityNow.com.

I've put up a bunch of new posts this week, including one on Ralph Waldo Emerson (with a free 55 minute movie to watch)  and an article I wrote on the critical difference between oscillation and instability in early awakening. PLUS I've put up two new videos. One of them is a two-minute introduction to The Living Method of Spiritual Awakening. Come join us!!