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I used to believe that people actually became enlightened, and that the event was similar to someone winning the jackpot in a national lottery. Once the price had been won, the beneficiary would thereafter be guaranteed permanent bliss, infallibility and incorruptible goodness.
In my ignorance, I thought these people had obtained and owned something that made them special and totally different from me. This illusory idea reinforced in me the belief that enlightenment was virtually unobtainable except for an extraordinary and chosen few. These misconceptions sprang from some image I held of how a state of perfection should look. I was not yet able to see that enlightenment has nothing to do with the idea of perfection. These beliefs were greatly strengthened when I compared my imagined inadequacies with the picture I held of whichever ‘spiritual hero’ I happened to be attracted to at the time.
I feel that most people see enlightenment in a similar way.
Certainly there have been, and still are, many who seek to encourage such beliefs and who have actually claimed to have become enlightened. I now see that this is as pointless a declaration as someone proclaiming to the world that they can breathe.
Essentially the realization of enlightenment brings with it the sudden comprehension that there is no one and nothing to be enlightened. Enlightenment simply is. It cannot be owned, just as it cannot be achieved or won like some trophy. All and everything is oneness, and all that we do gets in its way by trying to find it.
Those who make claims of enlightenment or take certain stances have simply not realized its paradoxical nature and presume ownership of a state they imagine they have achieved. They are likely to have had a deep personal experience of some kind, but this bears absolutely no relationship to liberation. Consequently, they still remain locked in their own individual concepts based on their own particular belief systems.
These people often need to take on the role of ‘spiritual teachers’ or ‘enlightened masters’ and inevitably attract those who need to be students or disciples. Their teaching, still rooted in dualism, inevitably promotes a schism between the ‘teacher’ and those who choose to follow the teaching. As the following increases, so does the exclusive role for the master need to be enhanced.
One of the usual symptoms, when such a role has been adopted, is a clampdown of any admission or sign of ‘human weakness’. This condition usually creates distance between the ‘master’ and his or her followers. As the specialness of the ‘master’ becomes more effective, and the demands of the followers become greater, so invariably do the teachings become more obscure and convoluted. As the obscurity of the teaching increases, so does the schism get wider, and many of the followers often become more confused and submissive. The usual effect on those involved can be unquestioning adulation, disillusionment, or an awakening and moving on.
However, these kinds of influences have established and maintained an illusory sense of doubt and inadequacy in the collective unconscious about people’s ability to open to and realize something that is as natural, simple and available as breathing.
Those who have fully comprehended and embraced liberation have absolutely nothing to sell. When they share their understanding, they have no need to embellish themselves or what they share. Neither do they have any interest in being mothers, fathers or teachers. Exclusivity breeds exclusion, but freedom is shared through friendship.
--- from The Open Secret by Tony Parsons.
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© 2009 Howard McQueenThe practice of choosing to embrace rather than avoid,Of accepting rather than rejecting,Of allowing rather than controlling,Of Surrendering rather than influencing (in the name of even personal preferences),Finding peace within whatever is appearing and arisingBrings about the gradual under-mining of habits of Self-avoidance,of Consciousness avoiding Reality.Thus we remember to uncloak that which was / which is / which will be - we release our pretending to be SEPARATE. .We rest in this newness, this Vastness of potentialAnd in this vulnerability of unknowing,Surrendering to Oneness, to for-ever-ness, to completeness, to connectednessWe experience this as the Gift, as much as it was once regarded as the Burden-Curse.Both the Gift and the Burden-Curse are thus contained in the moment, in the fullnessWhat was once our ignorance shifts to a perceptual, gradual or quickening acceptance of the constant birth-life-death of form, of thought, of sensation and of perception.We seem to oscillate between fascination with self and Self,This contraction then expansion of our sense of Reality,This inhaling, then exhaling,Limitless forms all dissolvingInto the apparent nothingness …And the seemingly eternal procession and danceThat mind alone cannot begin to comprehend.****This piece significantly influenced by Marta and a united appreciation for Loving Communications and an awesome new book, "The Transparency of Things" by Rupert Spira. This is a gentle, disarming book, and reading the first 25% of the book is fulfilling, as it became a bit tedious after that (revised 8/11/09)
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© 2009 Howard McQueenI was recently communicating with a friend about a series of disappointments and how my obsession grew into a deep, thick soup of resentment, using that thickening agent “you done me wrong”. As I was communicating with him about this, I really took the time to listen to him and empathize with where he was coming from.His coming from held a touch of sadism, grief, remorse, apology, courage, resentment, … – and after I took all this in, rather than start back up the blame machine, I rested in this primal soup of emotions and discovered that it contained THE full spectrum of the emotional condition, all polarities. My friend did not shed a tear, but he did tell the story of his estranged daughter and the price he has paid for the current state of that relationship. Thus I was also privy to his sadness, remorse and repentant qualities.I am left feeling that the experiencing of any one emotion, does, in fact, contain the full spectrum of emotions. The other emotions just happen to be dormant, waiting for their moment to arise and assert themselves. I experience this directly, as these emotions arise in me. Sometimes they animate me, sometimes they make a call to a deeper compassion for myself and for everyone around.I am continually amazed and humbled by the insights available through our ability to just be open and take in more and more of what life offers.Part 1 Wakeful Quantum Shadow Dreaming
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© 2009 Howard McQueenThe human condition of constantly grasping or averting, moving towards or away from reward/pleasure/security or fear/pain/scarcity. We ping-pong between the polarities, the positively and negatively charged energies.To slow down and rest in peace.To show gratitude for the Abundance of what is.Not residing in the shadow of fearor cleverness of ego gratificationsWe open up to a flowing of a Selfconnected to Vastness, to the Unknowable.We allow a Force to breathe through usA current to flow out of usA compassion to arise and connect usA curiousity in the pregnancy of the Moment,to permeate our beingness.And we stop trying even to adaptBy surrendering constantly, completelyTo the mystery of it all.No thing to looseNo think to gainConnectedness, oneness ...
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(subtitled: The Blaming Machine)© 2009 Howard McQueenLast night my fever broke.For over two weeks I have been carrying around an ever-escalating story that a friend has been “doing me wrong”. I’ve built an entire waking dream around this story. I’ve amassed dozens of diary pages to document the story. I’ve been up and down the story, engaged, disengaged, disappointed, discouraged, angry, at peace, and seen this cycle stop and start back up again with another friend that also lent their validation to my story / (aka my hallucination).I have diligently amassed evidence to backup my story, more than enough for a character assassination. But I backed off from that – better to stew in my judgment and contempt for this person, this friend of mind that repeatedly did me wrong.My friend and I had a session last night. He apologized for his behavior, and I heard this, but I remembered I have amassed two weeks of substantiated evidence backing me up, so I wanted his ear and a couple of hours to walk him through my obsession. He was insulted and insisted that I “let go of all that old history”. He also insisted that I see him, his life situation and his “modus operandi”, and stop playing in my victim role.As I accepted the possibility (and freedom) of releasing all this history, this mountain of evidence, I realized that I had created a huge standing wave of energy that had been progressively discoloring my relationship with my friend. On an energetic level, I was shrinking myself into the poor-me victim and projecting shadow energies on to him (and he inflated into his sadist persona). Don’t get me wrong, he provided me with ample queues to jump-start my projections, but I now see that each of these queues was a cross-road, an opportunity to rise above judgment, stay in the moment, realize that my triggers were being activated and that my own deeper shadow callings were arising from my own past.This is when my story shifted, a veil was lifted, and I opened my heart and saw my friend (again, for the first time in two weeks) in the Oneness of compassion, from a re-opened heart. There was tenderness, there was compassion, and the distortion and heaviness of shadow energies and the fiction of [bad him/poor me] dissolved.I am left writing about this, with a sense of wonder and also amazement that it took over two weeks for this fever to build, shift, transform and ultimately collapse through surrender. I sense from direct experience that part of this wonder is uncovered within this me, seeing and feeling my own vulnerabilities to sense the world anew, allowing myself to be with more of what is in this world, rather than rejecting it.There is no doubt that my friend is extremely self-centered and obsessed with his work, but it is equally true that he is a force of nature, an emerging spirit, pursued by his own demons and navigating through a tumultuous period in the history of humanity. He is unique, has his own modus operandi and there were aspects of this I became [not right with - mostly the influence of sadism]. Once this judgment was made, it was easy to become overexposed to his behaviors and then the machinery of judgment went into high gear, into the “you’ve done me wrong” and I really got down to the business of making me right and making him wrong and focusing on Separation.I have new evidence now to share as a lesson learned. The internal polarizing energies I summoned and activated discolored and recast my relationship with my friend in the last two weeks. I became diminished and dis-empowered, and he became hardened, callus and dismissively powerful, all as a result of these energy dynamics. These energies revised and rewrote the story of our relationship, and this story was a fiction, of two people sabotaging and discarding their love in favor of the pain of separation.Deep subconscious emotions call upon quantum energies to arise and play themselves out. Tolle refers to this as the “pain body”. When I look back now over this past two weeks, I am now aware and conscious of our pain bodies becoming activated, and that these pain bodies engaged in a relationship and danced their own pain body dream. While this was happening, my love and compassion for my friend receded into the background as the judgment and pain patterns arose and cast our love and camaraderie into a darker shadow.The trance, the waking dream, the fever, the illusion -- has broken.I feel compelled to share this story, as a reminder that from moment to moment we are constantly judging and choosing and shape-shifting our energies and our reality. What I have learned is to become increasing vigilant and notice when I start to weave a reality-dream that is built around reactive emotional energy, I AM discharging another shadow energy dream.A great, follow-up article, The Chemistry of Blame , lays this out.Always pleased to have any feedback. I am hopeful my words and writing this story does justice to what I experienced and desire to share. If you would like more information regarding this interpretation of energy dynamics can be found in the new book Emotional Freedom
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© 2009 Howard McQueenI wrote this to a dear friend this morning, then realized it perhaps deserves much wider circulationWhat a great ride A great ride it is (being alive). I see some big hummer waves rollin in that we can catch and ride - together. We might even get tumbled around, scratched up, but what the heck - comes with having some wild abandon fun.Just now, I see you riding bareback on this beautiful white steed, on the beach, in the light surf. You are exuding joy and there are other riders and steeds following you towards this rainbow and bright light. This light is neither sunrise or sunset, for it is a growing collective vision for the outpouring of pure spirit entering this dimension. The properties of this spirit clense the soul, detox the heart, dissolve hardened shells and enable the higher self to be increasingly present in our moment to moment mindfulness.Hey, don't take it personally As we become increasingly aware that most of the human turbulence need not be taken personally, we see that folks are being buffeted and buffeting themselves around and exerting a HUGE amount of energy resisting what is. We invest all this energy and urgency protecting ourself and then mentally and emotionally wall ourselves off from the "negativity", emotional vampires, shadow energies, darkness, and ...Heaven on Earth I am finding myself deeper in peace, deeper in compassion as more and more folks around me "wig out". Sometimes I get temporarily entangled, but then my fever breaks and I see with clarity that it was the tiny little "me" wanting the world to go my way, to cater to me - then the perspective shifts and I see much larger patterns that need to work themselves out, be acknowledged, shown some light, accepted, and transformed into honest acceptance. As we focus on ceasing to delude ourselves, by building an aware community of conscious colleagues, this collective perspective and encircling of healing shows us that there is a "heaven on earth". This blog I contribute to helps us share pointers to peace and clarity.This world and life is our laboratory This is an extremely exciting time to participate in, be part of conscious laboratories and experiments and chronicle the evolution of individuals we connect with. Hard to chronicle the whole human race, as I find most of the news channels loaded with toxic or slanted messages. I'll assume that there are awakened individuals throughout the planet doing "the work" everywhere and for me, this is heartening!Honoring spirit Raising awareness and consciousness is not for the timid, but that could be just because I have yet to master the subtle energies. What I am finding that holds true (for me) is that if I am true to my personal authenticity and the courage stemming from this inner flow, then my external relationships and events shift, become unentangled and resettle into a deeper reality and appreciation for the illusions we are all working through. As I become become more in-touch with honoring and loving the spirit inside me, I gain this capacity to extend this outwards in my relationship with others. This helps to clear out the infectious fears of the mind that want to obscure reality, deaden emotions, cause us to close down, revert back to self-destructive addictions - generally sacrifice and dampen our vitality.You Wild Thing We really are born to be "Wild Things" and grow to be wise elders, still honoring and embracing that sense of wildness, keeping it alive and not becoming smothered in security seeking or ego aggrandizements.Wild Thing ... You make my heart singYou make everythingGroovy...You move meThe Troggs:-)Love, hugs and kissesHoward
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I am entertaining buying and constructing a 30' diameter yurt (see http://coloradoyurt.proxy.calltoday.ws/yurts/yurt_101/index.php) as an example.Anyone ever stayed in a yurt for a week or longer?Would anyone considering living in one for a year or longer?Thanks for any feedback!Howard
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Does anyone have an opinion on the quality of the content of this set of CDs by WEI Founder Andrew Cohen?http://www.andrewcohen.org/8cdset/main.asp?ecp=tat-040809
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