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INNER GROWTH & WHOLENESS

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 30, 2009 at 12:30pm

(c) 2009 Howard McQueenInner growth and healingoften follow a non-linear progression.Facing selfprovokes Graceoffering up the miraclesof gifts of insightprovoking further,greater acts and leaps-of-faith.There are rewards for those willing to livein their unknowing,feeling into the much greater wholeness.Knowing that crisis brings forthNecessity, the mother of inventive imagination,detaching you from the current regimeand all of your seemingly essential efforting.Something much more metais accessed and partnered with passion,peacefully gathered in and fully receivedawaiting its moment of fullness to bloom.~ ~ ~

THE VENOM IN POLITICAL ANALYSIS

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 30, 2009 at 12:00pm

(c) 2009 Howard McQueenDo not fail to underestimatethe venomous lethargybroadcast within the content of political analysis.You are consuming a dark, broodingwrapped in sophistication-tinged cynicism,a cesspool of streaming, steaming defeatism.This you willfully take and makeinto a complete mockery of Love.Are you not yet able to seethat you are sucklingon the teat of shockbringing out the ProsecutorVictimizing yourselfwith the pretentious repeated rapingof those you oppose.~ ~ ~Perhaps it is way past time for you to cease being so ugly to yourself and the other half of humanity - HM

MASCULINE RAW SEXUAL LUST

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 30, 2009 at 10:30am

© 2009 Howard McQueenI am not speaking to the lighter,delightful imaginative play with fantasy here.I lend voice to the darker side of lustthat stimulates and provokes deep distrust.The feelings of an impending,imminent sense of forthcoming violation.the sense of a stalking, dreadful danger.There is clear brutalitycontained and conveyed in the X-ray vision of lust.One is left deeply unsettled by havingone’s innocence violated by this rape-vision.This sends out all kinds of protect-all-gates alerts;hide the children and the loving nourishers,monsters are loose, prowling,their hearts consumed with a vengeful hurt.Lust lent fuel in the mind has a transfixing qualityIt creates an internal tipping point,advising the one boiling over with lustof the imperative to take,without asking,to dominate and conquerreaping the unjust reward,without any consideration or compassionfor the consequences or outcomes of another.The ancient masculine wound.A deep need to slake by taking without askingno flirting, no foreplay, consciousness set aside.A taking to attempt to satiate the monstrous void inside.~ ~ ~I am visibly haunted by the images that Hollywood creates on film. The recent Joan of Arc film, specifically the scene where, at the beginning of the film, Joan's older sister hides her from the invaders and pays the price. And then there is the scene, also in the beginning of Brave Heart, where William Wallace's sweetheart-to-be is executed by the reigning English captain. Lust mixed with deep injustices stimulates in people a need to take action to set things right. It also sets the stage for revenge to creep in and blossom.To move the dark energetic stirred up from the above posting back into the light, have a look at a previous posting "PREDATOR & PRAY". This is intended to bring the topic back into the circle and provide this particular human darkness its respective blessing.In the various group work I have been involved in over the years, acts coming out of extreme lust have left others deeply impacted. The way out of these craters involves working through the energies holding together extreme violation and distrust.This posting addresses a very dark exploration of the human psyche, especially for those that have had the experience of being victimized by the stare of lust and/or have experienced rape.I am interested in hearing from others that have been consumed by lust, either on the sending or receiving side. You may email howard@mcq.com. I will maintain confidentiality with regard to identity.***

TRANSCENDING IS IN THE ACCEPTING

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 30, 2009 at 8:30am

Hello Dear Ones,This is a follow-up to a previous posting, so follow this link back to the original source, and then return to that which is most current.*** *** ***This concept of transcending I am revisiting and revisingreminds me be be vigilant of anything escapist.By that, I mean that the work is to seeall of human behaviorin the spotlight of awareness,so that we recognize that "flinch" behavior(when one of us tries to look away) isthe mind "thinking" we are discarding the experience,when we are really discarding an aspect of ourselves.When we see in othersthe potential that lives within all of humanity,there is an invitation for peaceful acceptanceof the fact that we are blessed and not cursedwith this incredible spectrum of energetic responses,from the reptile brain survival modes,to manifesting this great unified Oneness of heart.So, from where I sit,when the mist settlesand I remember to drink deeply from the well,life inhabiting form is always tenuousand extremely vulnerable.And spirit, when connected to deeply rooted courage,sets us all free to experience and witness all possibilities ...No me yo ho ren gay kyo(may this centered and balanced vibration of being spread throughout the world and open hearts and minds to focusing on love offerings, beauty, peace and harmony, regardless of how fragmented the external world may appear.). - HM

EXTENDING FAMILY

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 9:30pm

(c) 2009 Howard McQueenYou all are my extended familywe root for each otherthrough all the difficulties.We bring to our sacred gatheringsan expanding ability to be presentand to share our felt sense of SOLIDARITY.Extending FamilyI am born into biological familymy work on this earth: redefine and extend familyWe are Fam-i-lyA practiced way of being togetherto explore and learn about depth of selfin a safe, nurturing placeso that whatever arises is metwith a constancy of loving understanding.More than a silent compassionit is an energetic facilitationof the full range of human emotions and experiences,allowing the burdens and woundsheld in the human psycheto be named, to arise and be acknowledged.This is not a cathartic circus,more of an advanced exploration of our storedenergetic wounded-ness held in dynamic group healing space.Seeing this mis-fitted, twisted and torqued methis ego-efforting consciousness to be felt into as habitfor what it is- a hyper vigilance- a deadening disempowerment place- a graveyard of dispair- desolation beyond repair- loneliness as frozen, petrified lake- trapped non-linear insanity of the mind- shyness so severe- blindness in suppressing the terror of aggression and rage.All this and so much more is what plays out in this world as we CURRENTLY know it.It permeates and percolates and spreads its contagious symptoms likea viral death plague,Jumping from one human being to the next,this ancient virus of predatory mental malevolence.~ ~ ~It would appear to be a very bleak place, this earthly experience we humans inhabit.And yet, we have not totally annihilated ourselves.And, there is healing and depth-of-love available if you make your thirst known!For me, this means that grace, forgiveness, compassion, beauty, love and these healing energies are alive and well and are being summoned to a ripening regime of Love Warriors awakening to this world.Don't rely exclusively upon statistics or the media's false and bleak windowed view of the world.Their are a growing number of pockets of loving communities forming, to keep the sacred blessings alive and well, so that future generations can pass down the stories of living in the divine love with this earthly experience, seeing it for exactly what it is. YOU ARE SO VERY BEAUTIFUL. BE THE BEAUTY OF THIS WORLD, RETURN TO THIS BEAUTY - HM

ELECTING THE EXQUISITE!

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 9:00pm

(c) 2009 Howard McQueenHey, look at me.I've been doing the "best of"what dis-empowered people do.Shrunken, constricted, disconnected, withdrawnan incapacitating mistrustof self.So, I'm playing thingsclose-to-the-vestever-so-safewallowing onwardin the shadowsamidst the echoesold habits that interrupt and infiltratemy authenticity.And here I am againcollapsing againinto my self-contrived pitof agony and dispair.THIS WORLD: A LIVING EXPERIMENTAL CLASSROOMEach day is the first dayof the freshly minted semestereverything is radically alterednothing quite familiareveryone on a level playing field.And I seeYou have signed upfor this newly offered elective titled"Being is Something so very Exquisite".Alrighty now!

THE ANESTHETIC IV OF OLD FUN

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 9:00pm

(c) 2009 Howard McQueenWay back when in my lifeI remember these novel experiences.They were full of exploration, newness,exhilaration and fun.These experiences, spooled forward,taken up again as habit,then over attended to and abusedno longer yield their former fun.Instead what is created is grim persistent diminishment.If I see myself as an ocean going vessel,I've sprung leaks under the water line.My personality, serviced by these old habitsthreatens to drag me down to the addictedlife draining forces, these black holesof despair and hopeless-ness.Our imagination, as well as pride, sufficiently seen,provokes the invitation of sweetness and fresh innocence in presence,this begins a soft re-boot and new preferences to feed upon a diet of delightful nourishment.~ ~ ~Lets congregate with a potluck dinner tonight. Bring a big plate and help yourself to the conversation-in-fellowship supporting the Love-theme of extending family.

COMPLETELY SPECULATIVE ILLUSION

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 8:56pm

(C) 2009 Howard McQueenI wonder how I might appearin my minds expectationof what someone elsemight be thinking about me.Mirror mirror on the wallShow me a picture, any channel at all.I'm not just small,I've evaporatedTurned the mentaldisintegrator ray gunupon myselfand scattered myselfamongst the mists-of-illusion.~ ~ ~

BLESSINGS FOR THE WHOLENESS OF HUMANITY

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 8:30pm

(C) 2009 Howard McQueenIn speaking this Potential in you,you up-the-antefor everyone else.In embodying this Potential in you,you bring into the visible spectrum,vital life-giving energy for the whole Human Family.Blessed be your arriving ...~ ~ ~

FILL UP THE BACKBONE, PLEASE

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 8:30pm

(C) 2009 Howard McQueenSo, you see yourself as just the minor characterin this meta-dance.Place your attention right [... ~ HERE ~ ...] to accept the Witnessing Role,the powerful 360 degree vision.See the red-eyed, angry,in-heat male water buffalo,singling you out,to step outof the mainstream,the numbing,behave-yourselfregime of beliefs.Join the resistance,give yourself to the revolution andtake up your Divinely Given Potentials.[pause right here to receive this download ... ~ ... ~ ... ~ ... ~ ... ~~~][ACTIVATION]A back-filling of energiesto fully step into your backboneand be the Responsible One,Seal the Deal, el pronto,my beloved Amigo!~ ~ ~There is renewed vitality in docking and anchoring your energetic being in the silent power of Presence. - HM

HANG ME FROM MY MAYBES

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 8:30pm

(c) 2009 Howard McQueenAm I desirable or worthy enough?I cannot resolve an explicit "Yes".I suddenly feel the hot streak of need,all stuck and splayed out on the Fence-of-Maybe.Someone please indicate, even donate a "Yes",to pull me out of my unknowing misery.~ ~ ~

A LOVE OF LIFE NAMED SERENITY

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 2:30pm

(C) 2009 Howard McQueenBeing in this worldLessening the projectionof our past pain and suffering***Go tell it to the mountainGo wash yourself in its streamLet all your worries drop beside youMay you find your stride in solitudeand a love in life named Serenity.

REJECTION

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 9:30am

(C) 2009 Howard McQueenDo we really have any control what-so-everin what we convey in word and intentwhen it lands on another?You can plant the sweetest of kisson the walking deadand in that momentthey will not stir.You can put your arm aroundsomeone just gazing at you.And should they not be ready,be offered a healthy dose of rejection.You can write yourself and anotherinto some future love-dance fantasy,and create a return responseof a cautionary "I don't think so,certainly not yet."We have so much work to doto read and be sensitive tothe energetic state-of-affairs of others,as well as what is arising within us.So much reflection, projection, somuch provocative background noise.This demands an ever increasingdetermination to approach slowly,slow down in the moment.Not always charging forth so boldlywith our own fullness.Sometimes holding back your gift,sometimes just putting it on the tableand with a deft anonymityleaving this energy so their presencehas the time and place to unwrap and unfold.Tis a very sacred spacewalking this earthbeing amongst othersletting things bewhile being alert to opportunitiesto spread just the right dose of intimacy.~ ~ ~

SLIP-SLIDING AWAY

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 9:19am

(C) 2009 Howard McQueenMy shadow energyis needing to feedon someone else'senergetic image of me.Will I be ableto hold my integrity?orwill I succumb againto constructing my lifeon this ever-slipperymuddled slope.I close my eyesand gently succumb toslip-sliding back intothe black pit of misery.~ ~ ~Misery and despair, two companion energies that arise and intertwine and before we know it, have setup house and we have acclimated, moved in and even redecorated by covering over with new wallpaper - HM

JEALOUSY & INSATABLE APPETITES

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 29, 2009 at 12:00am

(Draft version 1.0)(C) 2009 Howard McQueenAn insatiable appetite for what someone else seems to have.Lack of generosity held in the prison of the inner me.Shame, blame, victim, accusation.We give such power to jealousythe ultimate obsessiveness,played out over-and-over again.The animal-istic nature of the human Operating System,thinking it must have that which is outside,to nourish and fill-in the voiding sense of estrangement.It becomes a stalking, a need to possess,an urge to take by force,to kick the shit out of one another.Dense, subconscious reptilian brain survival strategies ..This dark creature called the grimness,held hostage abusing the name of pleasure,buys our ticket to ride,in perpetuity,the Ferris Wheel of Agony.Dominance, excluded mutuality, unilateral controlBadness coming at cha'.Tough F-King luck.Round and round you go, repeating this same stuck pattern on the wheel.The pain body, agent of the grim reaper, coming to redirect your life forcetowards anger, darkness.Hard to break free from this creature,so worshiped with excessive compulsive significance.I don't want the power you offer me to judge your jealously.I have no need for it.You be the holder and keeper of this.Me, I've had my fill of my own misery.~ ~ ~This posting tracks the feelings of being stalked by an ancient malevolence. Know the early warning signs so that you can recognize its approach. Without without indulging it, return to the Beautifulness of the now. It is ancient brain, survival at any cost infrastructure programming. Take a few minutes and clear your own energetic field of the darkness that you may be feeling. At some future date, should these feelings arise, be hyper alert to your environment, in the event some actual menace is on the prowl. Then you can take right action and feel into your options for navigating safe passage with these reptilian energies.Dedicated to my teacher, MR.

OVER DOSING APPRECIATION

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 28, 2009 at 10:30pm

(Day One in uptown Sedona)© 2009 Howard McQueenI am staying this week in Sedona, AZ, in a private house, in my own guest suite.This is an incredibly sweet setup and at half the price of the cheapest hotel in or around town, I feel blessed.As I begin this my first morning here, I have just entered the kitchen and bumped into the owner and my host, Ms. M. We talked just a bit and then she rummaged for a moment to respond to my request to link into the house wireless internet. She pulled out a thick folder and right in front was the necessary network key.I quickly made connection and we were both happy campers, having navigated another technical barrier imposed by this modern world. I made a first attempt to express my gratitude for being with her and enjoying her house. Looking back, I can now see that this first attempt at gratitude was inserted into a container of judgment.We so often think of judgment as criticism, i.e. what was wrong or was not ideal (needing improvement) within our experience. Judgment can just as easily sneak in under the guise of comparison, coupled with praise. To my way of thinking, this is positively charged judgment, inflated by the ego, and this energy can really fail to hit the mark and affect the heart-felt-ness of gratitude.So, here was my first attempt at gratitude“Well now that the internet connection is alive, the rating of this beautiful B&B has jumped from a 4.7 to a 5.3.”My host looked quite perplexed and obviously lost in ambiguity. Her face, beaming only a moment before, how carried the confusion of question marks. I then quickly tried to explain my rating system and stopped …Hmmm. This situation deserves a do-over.We both quickly recovered from my faux pas (false step), and about five minutes later I made my second approach at gratitudeI gestured in the kitchen and said, with a deep and natural conviction “You’ve really made this such an intimate and sacred space”This raised a warm beaming smile on her face and she joined in to amplify this heart-felt-ness and thanked me for appreciating the fruits of her vision and the intimacy held in her space.This second appreciation spoke to the deeper spirit essence of her care and attention placed in the shared space she opened to select guests. This appreciation was carried in the clean container of appreciation and gratitude, without any comparison or judgment. The first attempt dropped from the sky like a lead balloon.Great lesson learned. Take a sip from the well so as to not be speaking from surface ego, especially when you are offering blessings.We are always faced with choosing to speak from the shallowness of ego or the depth of our being. What will it be? How will you communicate your gratitude and blessings.~ ~ ~This moment to moment listening to the heart (or deviations from the heart) is such great practice to stay sweet and in touch with the heart and the wellspring of spirit. It guides us to live more and more in touch with our love and authenticity.

TRACKING THE ELUSIVE, NON LINEAR SELF

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 28, 2009 at 5:30pm

(c) 2009 Howard McQueenFollow the tracks of truthup to, then follow them into the rabbit hole,the non-linear placewhere your footprints in the sand are erasedAnd off we go,trekking into the mind's constructsmade blind and oblivious by our smoke screenour crud burning as a crude torch oil,illuminating our walls,inscribed with drawings, symbols and petroglyphs,depicting our stories of suffering in ignorance.Bur wait a minute, a day or even perhaps a year longerand this too shall be resolvedand you as well, shall have the honor to be altered.And you'll find yourself smack dab in the middleof the Living Room of Lifegiving of yourself to extending Family,completely willing to sacrificethat worn out old sense and style of self.It is here where the fabric of human and spirit are loomed again:Fine gossamer threads of eternityintermixed with fabrics so much more tenuous and temporary.~ ~ ~A follow-up posting is available

GAZING INTO IMPLIED POSSIBILITIES

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 28, 2009 at 5:00pm

(ongoing oozing from Sedona)(c) 2009 Howard McQueenI gaze into your eyesand my worldly desiresflicker alive in the firelight,and my shadow doth hide no more.The implied possibilitiesthe unfolding of the new and unknown,a new place, perhaps fragile and fertile enoughfor some manifestation of Love to root.In this sacred spaciousnesswe summon the wisdomto rest patientlyfeeling deeply into our provocations.Will boldness be bestorthe extremely gentle subtletyof just letting things rest.Thus we gain a sense of the capacity and masteryto defend and invoke the fullertranspersonal expressions of Love,far exceeding any personal desires.And the smoke clearsand the clear-seeing of possibilitycouched in communitythis we-bound-in-love agreement madeof inclusiveness and acceptance.~ ~ ~

WINGED LOVE STORIES

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 28, 2009 at 5:00pm

(C) 2009 Howard McQueenThere are so many love storiesin the queuereadied for awakening this world.Prepare yourself!Love in new and unexpected combinations,true to your deepest imagination,Like a building storm frontis headin' your way.Love could be manifest big as a freight train,or veiled in the subtlety of rejectionand a push-back,needing to be setup in the truthof the cleaning-it-all-up do-over.Bringing a humbler spreading of your wingsto messenger the invitation of a maturing Love:cleaning up boundaries,awareness of old habitssabotaging attachments.Let it be a great long uncoupling trainthat awakens the purifying Love in you.~ ~ ~

SPOTLIGHT OF AWARENESS ON THE ME

Posted by Howard McQueen on September 28, 2009 at 12:30pm

(the gurgling conversation with Well in Sedona, AZ)(C) 2009 Howard McQueen... Me firstLook at MePoor meya de ya de yaaa daaaa ...Everything comprising this "me"is so fleeting, so very temp-o-rar-YThe yen and yang of internalized contraries:- coming and going- winning and losing- gaining and giving up- stockpiling and seeing forms blight and rot- ...So many invitations to lay externalized power down,to claim that which is eternalto remember to sip from the Wellto relax and release consciousnessfrom the spills and spellsof apparent disconnection from the light.This me, so profoundly caught in the perennial tempestof protecting and defending sense of identity.This contracting experience of seeking the safety and sanctity,shrinking from the world, snacking on self-pity,constantly custom-fitting,busy tailoring its clothingto the rise and fall of shifting waistline.This ego smacking reveling and defilement going on inside this me.Ahhh, this thinking-centered-ness held by me,believing it has some semblance of hopehiding from the annihilatingbonfire of Love's intimate embrace.[a pause, to receive the introductory affectionate kiss before the gravity well of Love's embrace].........So, notice these tugs and pulls and allegiances at playin the swirl of energies, this work-in-process deconstruction of me.In this me, there is cleverness, deceit, a yet to be unraveled ball of rejectionand so many other things to be backfilled with love -in the specious characters and personas unravelingand revealing this energetic phantom of me.I remember: take a sip from the Well,the silent intoxicantthe profoundly deeper wisdom of being, truth and right-actionin letting goin letting Lovecompletely make her waythrough this One with formmasquerading-in-separation as me.~ ~ ~BlessingYou-as-essence, your spirit, has always been the adored expression of the child overwhelmed with wonder and joy at the immensity of Love born in creation.

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