© 2010 Howard McQueen
What do you constantly lend your attention and awareness to?
Knowing this will help you to see what you cultivate, what you worship,
the shaping of your life,
this odyssey of experience.
As of late, I’ve been checking the stock market about three times a day. I’ve also, at least daily, been entering our household expenses into this ever-expanding spreadsheet of
now thirty plus columns.
The stocks I own are down.
The household budget for June completely blown due to some expected and also some unexpected extraordinary expenses.
I’ve recently been worshiping in the fields of scarcity.
I’ve been cultivating the fruit that siphons off energy,
a worship that denies hope and renewal,
that opposes the natural abundance of life itself.
And, even though I fly the banner of perpetual sabbatical,
I have been sailing my ship into troubled seas.
My captain, my captain, we have run aground.
What’s this, an absence of awareness
A forgetfulness to course-correct?
We’ve become lost again in the fog of our own fears,
sailing again back into the Sea of Scarcity.
It is such an amazing odyssey,
This energetic field of life we are immersed in.
Having no real control over so many outcomes,
And with the remembered ability to find and practice gratitude and acceptance,
we remember the true sacredness of this gift of awakening,
this raucous wild abandonment and pleasure
and the revisiting of old discomforts and pains.
All this not knowing
how things will unfold.
And yet things unfold,
without the need for any real efforting from us.
Comments
Tis most interesting to be circling back to the old insecurities, those that have never really been faced, but certainly swept into the subconscious darkness.
I believe that a precious few of us experience the big (quantum) shift and that for the vast majority of us, continuous and progressive smaller shifts build the momentum to become authentic, to gain our external voice, by being with the frightened, insecure and completely irrational inner voices we choose to maintain.
To completely commit to making it a realized state - Hmmm. It is supported by Emory's work to hold the space when the fear ramps up. Good to have the partnership in place to penetrate into the fear and into the true intimacy that offers up the Wowch.