© 2010 Howard McQueen
Friction, tension,
contrary energies, heated interplay - the inevitable collision.
Inner struggle, confusion, conflict,
The perception of injustice,
judgment.
Blame, shame, externalizing and perpetrating aggression,
revenge and vengeance – someone must pay for my ache, my anxiety, my pain.
Closing down, hardening, the stoppage of listening,
removal of self and the anesthetic numbness of distancing,
disengagement from the messiness of life,
an inner dis-Heartening – a covering over of compassion.
Laws, lawyers, departments of justice,
all spawned in an attempt to fill the inner void.
Few actually doing true listening,
connecting hearts,
working towards dissolving the paradoxical
pairing of victim .vs. perpetrator.
There is an abundant library of inherited pain and suffering still in circulation, still on the best seller list.
Be aware that there is also an abundance of joy, wisdom-teachings and pathways back into connection to your heart.
Become very clear what is circulating deep within your self. You are the archivist, the librarian, the editor, the director - fully capable of rewriting and updating everything you are subscribed to.
It may feel like many of your stories are inaccessible and read-only. Open these stories and their underlying beliefs and bear witness to the injustices and judgments you carry. You can then begin to dismiss and begin to dismantle the inner judgment, the need to impose justice or the need to remain dis-involved, disempowered and always turning away.
Uncover and turn inward, toward your heart. Learn to project your heartfelt-intent and lay down your judgment and aggression.
This is the essential inner struggle.
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