I knew I wanted to compile a book out of my past writings a year or two ago, but felt like I really wasn’t quite qualified enough. I’m not some enlightened spiritual teacher, so I had to wonder if my words were really worthy enough to be contained in a book to be read by people who might be looking for the secret to inner peace, etc. Isn’t that like the blind leading the blind?
These limiting thoughts were delaying my decision to complete the book, in the hopes that one day I would be “enlightened” and be able to bring the book to a better climax, such as, “Then, it happened. My perspective shifted ever so slightly, and all became known. I realized that there are no individuals, and that we are all one. Part of a cosmic consciousness pretending to be human beings, etc.” What a great ending that would have made, right?
It finally dawned on me that I was holding back out of fear of what projected “others” might think about some guy writing a book about enlightenment without being enlightened. Who would read that? Not me. My “time” is too valuable for that ;-) When I finally recognized and acknowledged that old program of insufficiency running interference, I decided to push forward. There will be plenty of critics, but I think there will be a larger number of people who get something from reading it (at least I hope so). I know I sure did when I went back to read all of my old posts again.
Anyway, once I decided to finalize the book, assembly and proofreading turned out to be fairly time consuming. But the challenge I’m facing at this moment is how to end this thing. I’m going to continue writing, and have already written a few other things to be posted later. Since there is no end in sight, how can I just abruptly say, “Okay, that’s it for now. Stay tuned for the next one.” No, I have to come up with a concluding chapter that does this book some justice. Or do I? Maybe I could just say, “Well, this seems like as good a stopping point as any. The End.” That’s sounding pretty good about now.
Maybe I could find a way that leaves people hanging on the edge of their seat in some way, like those season finales on TV that leave you going, “Those bastards! They can’t just leave it like that!” That would be fun if it were that kind of book. Maybe my next book will be fiction and I can do just that. But where does fiction end and non-fiction begin?
Your life is like a work of fiction starring you, and it has all of the different plot twists, comedy, drama, and boringness that any movie that lasts for 80 plus years would have. We’re all pretending to be stars in our own movie, which features all sorts of guest stars. If you’re reading these words right now, then I’ve stopped in to be a guest star in your movie (Hi there!). When I go to the store, all of the other shoppers and check out clerk have become guest stars in my movie. But how much more fun would it be if you actually realized it was all just a movie? Then you could step out of it and enjoy it more fully. When you’re trapped in it, the suffering of the main character seems so personal and yucky. I invite you to examine what if feels like to be the watcher of your life as it unfolds, instead of being identified with your character. It’s just like any dream where you are actually all of the characters in the dream, instead of the lead actor.
Could it be true? Look around. Could this all be a dream? Could I actually be all of the characters in the dream and not know it? Has it all been scripted out since the day I was born, or is it being written and directed on the fly? Do I have any control over what’s going to happen next, or is the only power I have to step out of the dream and wake up? Most, if not all, movies have a happy ending. What if this one does too? Can I finally relax and not sweat the small stuff? What if recognizing that there is a happy ending creates a happy ending that never ends? Wouldn’t it be nice to live that happily ever after Now? Now is all there is, and that happy ending that never ends is concealed in that Now that never ends.
The End ;-)
PS
You are perfect! You are loved! You are here! What a glorious gift it is to be alive. Don’t squander it pretending to be something smaller than you are. Wake Up!
PPS
My book is now complete. "A Seeker's Guide to Inner Peace: Notes to Self" is available from a number of bookstores. See - http://www.quedox.com/books/InnerPeace.html - for more information.
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