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THE MANUFACTURING OF OUR MEN

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 19, 2010 at 6:00pm
Written on and in celebration of Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthdayJust outside Red Hook, St. Thomas, USVIDraft Version 1.5© 2010 Howard McQueenOUR MEN,society manufactures and churns them out in droves.The production line beginswith the anger and rage of fathersrained down on their male children,a constant barrage of obedience,fealty, patriarchic control,this breeding ground for Spartans,culling and selectingfor stoic conditionings.OUR MEN,their childhood’s innocence,nipped at the bud.Work ethic and productivitytrumping and snuffing out joy and innocence.The glimmer of capacity remaining within,a vicarious projection to allow witness of other's childrenexperiencing innocence and joy,their own hidden away, deeply buried, inaccessible..OUR MEN,often emotionally stunted, blinded by their forfeited adolescence,suspicious of laughter,assuming they have unknowing incriminatedand indicted themselves,feeling the laughtersecretly aimed and targeted at them.OUR MEN,sometimes overly sensitivetouchy about being corrected,advocating they would rather continuemaking and living with the outcomes of their own mistakes,than be corrected,forced to face up,to dredge up,yet againthe brutal domestication of spiritheld in their childhood’s cut-short end.OUR MEN,often disdaining our compassion,having zero tolerance for their own weakness.They push away those bringing offeringsof solace and compassion,to fill their wounded, gaping void.OUR MEN,when gifted with the ethicsof goodness,of gentlemen-nessand fair-play,are generous to a fault.When not triggered in projections,our men give of themselvesas much,if not more,than anyone else.OUR MEN,who have lost their way,unable to connect into their heart,their emotions so numbed-down and distorted,so much of their attention and intention,their devotion, albeit fixation,serving their God of Command and Control.OUR MEN,Inwardly caughtin a constant inabilityto be genuinely at-ease.Even the tasksof preparing to enjoy … ,so often undertakenwith a stress-provokingself-imposing ticking time-bomb timetable.OUR MEN,even after nearly forty yearsaway from honorable military discharge,their informal pre-military careersalready in full force and effectsince the age of four, five or six,the training received then, even more relentless.OUR MEN,their selective domestication of spiritplaying such a prominent role,becoming brittle,defensive,work-a-haulics,throwing themselves into situationsdesigned to keep their hearts at bay,closing down their own innocence, joy and radiance,willing and ready to give CPR to others,not knowing how to practice,or even take the first stepsto revive the innocence in their childhood lost.OUR MEN,having no intuitive sensethat the invitation still existsto open to their hearts,their self-compassion so damped down,so smothered and covered over.OUR MEN,they know nothing about this great letting-goof the God of Command and Control,what they have strived so hard to perfect,they so fearful to release the helm,judged guilty of paramount loss of control.Standing at the edge of their false precipice,releasing into freefall,all the armor and hurtchoking, congesting and insulating their hearts.OUR MEN,they try to slake their spirit thirstby contributing to the safetyand service of others,to serve and protect,to put their lives on the line,r e p e a t e d l y,securing the stormy seasbraving and taming the treacherous airspaces,our homes,our streets,our neighborhoods,are lit with their pride and devotion to our nation.This is how our men have been trained,this seemingly their only channel,their single venueto cultivate worth-of-self and extend their intimacy.OUR MEN,our quiet, cold war and current war humble, often wounded veterans,proud to serve,these Spartans,these defenders of the peaceready to take a bullet or knifeto put it all on the linefor those they love,even for those they will never meet.OUR MEN,they simmer in their stoic dilemma,they project and then push awaythose carrying the gifts to make them whole.they would seem unconsciously caught up,locked in the ultimately meanand perverse Catch-22 machinery.OUR MEN,Inclusive of, Yes,we few men who have made the journeyand reached our heart,know not to take these noble men’s push backsas rejection,criticism,nor do we interpret their behavior as directed abuse.We know first hand of the long lines of perpetuated sufferingour men have suffered quite long enough.We few are ready to lead our Calvary back to home and heart.OUR MEN,held in the already heartfelt embrace,of the feminine (sisters, mothers, grand meres, aunts, lovers and friends)and these few already in-the-heart men,we encircle these warriorsin love's embrace."We dearly love you"our masculine (brothers, fathers, grand peres, uncles, lovers and friends),OUR MEN are our messengersbringing us the messages,enabling us to refine and more deeply shore upour unconditional embrace,this divine, dynamic healing circle,that mends and integrates,the inherited,manufacturedand breddysfunctions,heretofore stymieingand holding backour struggle to evolve the human race.The great opening and unifying of the masculine and the feminine, both contributing wings to the shared heart, cherishing each other, healing the ancient woundedness, resting and nourishing each other in Love’s embrace.… ~~~ . ~ … ~~~I have pulled from a composite of my own experiences as a male and my experiences with numerous male relationships to create this story and blessing
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