Posted by Trey Carland on January 31, 2009 at 11:51am
Hey guys,
I hope you are enjoying the cooler weather and the sky that gets larger as the leaves on trees disappear. I wanted to pass this along as an invitation to take some time for personal investigation. I almost called this one “That’s My Story and I’m Sticking to It” but opted for something a bit simpler.
Byron Katie likes to ask, “Who would you be without your story?” In fact, that’s the name of her newest book. Eckhart Tolle tells us that “You are not your story.” I recommend spending some time looking at what who you are without your story. Seeing yourself without your story involves dropping your past. If you set aside all of the ideas of who you are, who are you? Where are you? What are you doing here? What is all this?
It’s a return to innocence we are talking about here. If you have kids, or watched children, then you have vicariously witnessed what the world looks like to someone who has no preconceived notion of what it is they are looking at. The fascination with the world around them is present without the mental constructs and labels grown ups have. It’s joyful to watch an infant looking out at the world with a sense of awe. That’s our true nature, but we lose site of it along the way as we carve out identities for ourselves and for others.
You are not your name. When that idea first came to me it was a bit shocking. It was as if the question, “Who would you be without your story?” had taken on a new depth to it. Before, I was Trey looking at who Trey would be without his story. Then, all of the sudden, I had to take Trey out of it. If I’m not my name, who am I? We’re so attached to our names, because we have been called by them all our lives, that we don’t even realize that who we are is far more than just a name.
What was it before you knew what it was? Look at anything around you and ask yourself, “What was that before I knew what it was?” There was a time when you didn’t know what it was. What was it then? It must have been a complete mystery. Just as the infant looks on the world with the same curiosity and wonder, you can look at that with the same nameless sense of wonder that permeates everything we have come to know.
Throughout each day, we are adding to and narrating our story. Our minds are like story tellers weaving a tale about everything that pops up in our life. I’m constantly telling stories in my head. In fact, for each one of the blogs I actually write up and send out, I mentally write half a dozen. My mind is busy writing instead of Being a great deal of the time. Or it’s caught in a vicious, repetitive, ego dominated conversation with someone who’s not there. When I realize it’s happening I have a choice to either stop the story, or just notice that it’s going on. But I still get sucked into my story over an over again.
Recently I started compiling my past blog posts into one big journal. I’ve been writing these for the past few years and decided I would put them all together into a book. It was beneficial for me to go back and read what I had once written, but in the process of compiling them I realized that I was contributing to the story of the guy who shares these ideas, insights and teachings with others, still seeing myself as my own mind made identity (or the “little me” as some have called it).
Why not just stop telling my story? In my case I think it’s my mind’s self-defense mechanism. When I am setting aside my story, dropping my thoughts, becoming present, connecting with the witnessing presence underneath, becoming still, allowing everything to be as it is (however you want to state it), the mind tends to come in with an attempt to describe it, or grasp it, thereby ensuring its survival. It is attached to the story and doesn’t want to let go. Who would I be without everything I hold as true? It’s a bit scary so the mind starts seeking and the story is then reborn. In fact, the story of the little me who can not see my true nature due to my attachment to my story, is yet just another layer to the story. Raman Maharshi said, “The only blockage to self realization is the idea that there is a blockage. You already are what you are seeking.”
I believe this is a quote by Papaji but I did not cite it when I wrote it down. “So put your story away. It is not who you are. People usually live carrying a burden of past and future, a burden of their personal history, which they hope will fulfill itself in the future. It won’t, so roll up that old scroll. Be done with it.” Gangaji invites us not to deny the story, but not to indulge the story either, and take an opportunity to see what is untouched by the story.
Byron Katie tells us, “We do only three things in life: We sit, we stand, and we lie horizontal. That’s about it. Everything else is a story.” The story is sticky because we’ve been telling it for so long, but what we truly are is far more substantial than just a name or a history or a set of beliefs. But don’t take my word for it. See for yourself who you would be without a story. See what the things around you would be without a story.
In peace,
The story formerly known as Trey ;)
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(C) 2009 Howard McQueenWe practice surrendering all the time. We don't need to be taught to surrender - We are adept at surrendering!Most of us, however, have been surrendering to ideals that are impermanent, things that are forged and made from the mind of man.We've been surrendering to money, to corporations, to government programs, to our fantasies, to our vanities, to our insecurities, to our fears.Then, when we spend an hour or two each week, believing we are dedicating ourselves to that which is holy, that which is sacred, we surrender ourselves yet again often to something else external and/or conceptual.Were we to surrender to our integrity, imagine the possibilities.We are only beginning to learn and to trust in our innate ability to honor that which is within us, to uncover that which is authentic, that which is at peace, that which knows no separation exists. Perhaps it is this that we need to honor and surrender to.And not just one or two hours a week, but constantly in surrender, in the service of that which is sacred within us, within you, within me, within the street beggar, within the ultra wealthy, within the muslem, the dirty politician, every single ONE of us.If you cannot yet feel an internal surrender taking place, pick a mountain top, a patch of ocean, a baby creature, anything not made by the mind of man, and begin surrendering with it. You will be amazed and feel a deep inner resonance. Thus, you feel a sacred presence within, and through connection with that which appears to be external, you honor All that is.Howardp.s. Perhaps the synonym for surrendering to the external made in the mind of man (when heart is not equally present) could be called slip-sliding and succumbing – sufferin’ succotash. Welcome to OUR work.
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Posted by Trey Carland on January 29, 2009 at 3:01pm
Hello all,
I hope your new year is off to a great start and feel certain that this will be your year to shine. I wanted to pass this note on to those of you you might find it helpful in some way. Be well.
This could be considered a follow up to my previous post (And the Story Goes On), but I am beginning to fully realize, on an experiential level, the profound simplicity of the words, “Let everything be as it is.” This is something repeated by Eckhart Tolle and is also referred to as “accepting what is,” or accepting the “isness” of the present moment. I knew what it meant intellectually, and have been heeding this advice for a while now, but just recently experienced the meaning of the words more deeply. Despite the seeming redundant nature of this realization (based on previous experiences), I am slowly internalizing these pointers for what they are, due in part to continuous and repeated exposure.
In this particular case I was peeing in the toilet and as I looked down I dropped the story of what a toilet was and looked at it from the present moment perspective, as if I had no past reference to tell me what a toilet was. I just let it be as it was. As I did so the pure simplicity of its isness shined through. It had no name, no story, it just was present. I became simultaneously aware of the one looking at the toilet and thoughts subsided. The toilet was still a toilet, but I just let it be completely as it was, in its natural state of nothingness, as in no name or description. It was simply a never seen before object. It was just a presence, or something here, now. (BTW - I was still able to close the lid, flush, wash my hands, etc., but those actions took place without my needing to do anything, and I was able to just enjoy witnessing each step happen.)
It seems so simple to just let something be as it is, dropping the story and just accepting what is present as an indescribably mystery, as nothingness. That is, in essence, what it is. The word essence is one of those terms I had a mental image of, which meant I was missing the literal meaning of it. Essence for me conjured up the idea of some luminous core. But in simple terms, essence is just the simple or basic substance of something (you might want to look it up in a dictionary).
A toilet is, in essence, a molded ceramic object. But it becomes even more simple than that when viewed from a present moment perspective. It is, in essence, just some nameless thing with a certain shape and texture. But at the deepest level, when you are so present you have no past reference at all, it just is.
This slight shift in perspective is what it all seems to be about. Take any object and look at it. Remove the idea you have in your head about what it is. Look at it as if you have never seen it before. What is it? If it has no name, no known purpose, no labels, what is it you are looking at? What is it, in essence (or on the most basic level), that you have in front of you? Let it be there, just as it is, nothing more, without trying to figure it out or describe it.
For me, what “it” is becomes much more clear. It takes on a richer texture, a new vividness, and an aliveness all its own. Then, it can’t even be said to be an object, because what is an object? It just is. It is just as it is. Nothing more, nothing less. The innate beauty is available for viewing and experiencing when thoughts are removed from the equation. Thoughts about “it” cloud the simple isness of what it is. Its presence (or here-ness) is all there really is to it, but it is a wonderful thing to see.
Taking all of these terms and pointers in a more literal sense cleared things up for me. However, I have to say that becoming fully present is still not easy for me to do very often (sometimes it’s easier than others). It takes a willingness, or one could say a determination, to see what is for what it is. The mind likes to step in and describe or instruct, but thoughts too can be viewed in this same simple way. They are present and can be viewed as what is in this moment, especially when you view them from the perspective of not being “your” thoughts, or not taking them personally. This creates some space between You (the witness of the thoughts) and your thoughts, which makes them less likely to suck you in.
In short, you can change your perspective and change the world.
In peace,
Trey
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