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(C) 2011 Howard McQueen

Every thought deemed disagreeable,

every thought deemed desirable

emanates from the inner, mental judge.

Installed very early in life,

the judge is conditioned to expect drama,

expects to have the courtroom schedule fully booked.

To sustain this virtual courtroom,

a host of other internal mental characters are empowered: detectives, witnesses - and an extensive lexicon of injustices is empowered. 

And this is just the beginning of this virtual reality.  

As we interact with others, we swap our judgment-based, 

injustice-laden experiences.  

Powerful archetypel pairs come alive: victim-perpetrator, heroine/villan, ... 

Society at large has ways of dealing with what officials would label "deep unrest".

Laws are crafted.

Sentences created.

Therapies made available.

Prisons constructed.

An entire penal system is funded and grows, year-by-year, by leaps and bounds.

Many injustices catch the wind of the media and are spread wide and far.

Political campaigns promise to make americans safe.

What began as a inner virtual courtroom "infection" in the mind has become so wide-spread and pervasive that it becomes an accepted norm, a mass hallucination.

And it all begins by installing the inner judge.

The judge exists and thrives on conflict.

The judge exists to mete out justice.

And we call this Justice?

~ ~ ~

The work of this inner judge virus is done when one of us begins to construe life and their experiences with life as the perpetrator and cast themselves in the role of victim.

This is the ultimate self-sabotage of our identity, when we turn the fire hose of

of blame, shame inwardly. 

You are a loving human being.  Suffering has the very real appearance of being everywhere (external).  That this appears as a reality or the predominate reality does not mean that you need to continue empowering your own version of the inner judge.  

Dismiss your own inner courtroom,

just for a minute,

an hour,

a day,

and then pause to witness your suffering begin to melt away.

(c) 2011 Howard McQueen

Like a job you would be loath to show up for,

like a bad dream that seems to want to stick and not go away,

what you have grasped and hold to be your identity 

can be our very own mind-spun spider web,

catching and binding us to suffering.

If no web is spun,

there is nothing to create resistance.

Nothing becomes snagged.

The endless stream of thoughts and concepts,

free of judgments,

are allowed to flow on by.

~ ~ ~

Thoughts and concepts are 100% mind stuff.

Judgments, however, act as spider webs, showing us our attraction (and ultimately our repulsion as well) to our mind stuff.

If you express (fascination or repulsion) you also awaken its polar opposite, (repulsion or fascination) and then both become internalized within your mind, binding and blinding you to suffering.  This is where the seed of conflict is planted.

That which you have identified as you is believed to be incomplete (or likely defective).  Then that you begins wanting something that is missing, or avoiding something fearful.  The mind spins up an incredible storm of psychic energy to address this.  The crystal clear river bottom of peace becomes murky, the river agitated, and what is you takes on these mind-made attributes - and now there is suffering.

(c) 2011 Howard McQueen

That we appear contained within a separate body

has no real bearing on establishing our identity, what we really are.

Yes, a part of our experience is hard wired into the sensory organs.

This is what makes experience sometimes so very delicious,

sometimes so very frightening.

That experience is ever changing,

that experience can be re-interpreted,

that our ability to become increasing facile

both interpreting and navigating through experience -- points to a mysterious depth,

an inexhaustible mystery.

It is from this origin that the mind cannot begin to fathom.

Accept that this mystery is your birthright, your birthplace,

your alpha and your omega

and all suffering vanishes.

End of all stories.

End of time.

Amen | shanti | shalom | be the peace | 

Welcome to the dynamic interconnected mystery.

Don't obsess over thinking about it.

Just be present.

(C) 2011 Howard McQueen

There is a fundamental "grace" manifest and underpinning life.

This grace can be seen in the expressions of life as unconditional love.

If this were not true, every resentment would grow

into an insurmountable and impenetrable wall.

We would then strive to stone each other unto death.

That resentment and violence are even temporarily entertained, or acted out

is a sign that unconditional freedom is contained within unconditional love.

This includes the freedom to turn away from grace

and allow the mind that is disembodied and disconnected from heart

to wander and act out of ignorance and fear.

(c) 2011 Howard McQueen

There is endless investigating,

endless searching and seeking,

endless manipulating

in order to shape circumstances that create and sustain happiness.

There is endless efforting to try to scrub clean (or eradicate)

what we refer to as the ego and all of its bruises and wounds.

Why not drop all this stress-induced restlessness

and no longer make any attempts to personalize experiences.

In our lifetime we will (and already have) 

experienced radical tipping points that

have shaken and cracked the conceptional foundations

in our economic, political, defense and other mind-of-man 

made structures.

If your well-being (i.e. identity, sense-of-self) are interwoven

into believing and trusting in these structures, 

right now would seem to be the opportune time to reassess your identity.

In a not so subtle way, what you identify with is what you believe in, is what your identity and sense of self are constructed upon.

So, a reassessment may appeal to you.

But lets be sure that this is not cosmetic,

that a reassessment of identity is not some easy, interim step,

or some lengthy, progressive process of gradual, measurable transformation.

Why not just uncover what you really are, during this life, in this moment.

GO FOR THE WHOLE ENCHILADA!

Even words contain a seductiveness. 

Remember to dispense with them or the wild goose chase becomes an endless mental fascination, and endless bouts with suffering.

(c) 2011  Howard McQueen

"I am" points our identity to the here and now.

Now, release this notion.

What are  you (your identity), if you are not

 the body

 the thoughts

 the memories

 the fleeting circumstances?

Yes, you are "the witness" of all this in the here and now.

Your true identity contains and enables "the witness" and all that is witnessed.

Now, release this notion.

So, what are you?

;-)  

(c) 2011 Howard McQueen

Initiating a full-stop within 

is not creating silence.

It is no more than no longer believing in what the mind wants to dictate.

It is suspending belief in all the cascading judgments,

the inner urges,

the conditioned beliefs,

the false assumptions,

the remembered anxieties,

the fear and grief.

Secretly we hold on to and feed the mind,

hoping that it will protect and defend

the mental-emotional amalgam we believe to be our identity.

Identity is 100% mind-stuff.

Have you had enough drama and suffering?

Are you ready to relax and enter the flow of life,

without any need for identity,

without any need for protection or defense.

What will happen, will happen

and you will be present (or not) as it unfolds.

What a fantastic ride,

this being alive.

(C) 2011 Howard McQueen

For there to be suffering,

experience must be personalized,

experience must be resisted (i.e. resented, feared, i.e. singled out by the mind with judgments).

It is the mind that constructs and creates ongoing beliefs that create suffering.

(C) 2011 Howard McQueen

Some memories, when accessed,

bring with them sensations of anxiety.

When we have spent extended periods of time in these valleys of anxiety,

we forget how acclimated and infused we became,

how we held on to this environment,

as if it held a sense of our true (dark) identity.

While in these valleys, the mind frantically struggles,

generating stress, until, often

we feel and perceive ourselves as diminished, dysfunctional and ... defective.

This obsessive self-judgment gens up a personal purgatory.

Back in this ever-present moment, we encounter experiences that the mind has a tendency to consider associations with its experiences - and then, wanting to be useful, fetch fragments from its stored purgatory.

Now, do we believe in what the mind fetches, or do we believe in what is unfolding in the here and now?

By choosing to abide in the presence of the here and now, we offer ourselves the freedom to release the mind from any responsibility for shaping/influencing our identity.

(C) 2011 Howard McQueen

You may come to realize that you are not

the limited, cut-off, defective and helpless self.

You may have felt  like that and told yourself and others stories until

this formed a temporary and wavering sense of identity.

If your essence and nature are not this self, then what are you?

The sweet simplicity of confirming and affirming what you really are

will put a full-stop on suffering, as it appeared to once exist in your personal view of the world.