Howard McQueen; (C) 2009Letting go of everythingheld personaland stepping into freedomThe invitationThe invocationReside in the embrace with your Beloved Anam Cara [1].You have come homeNo longer separate or alone[1] The Celtic Mysticism of Anam Cara A Book of Celtic Wisdom, brings alive an inner soul-friend within each of us. My own evolving interpretation of the Anam Cara this is that this energetic entity is imprinted into our being, always available, always accessible. Sri Aurobindo also brings light to the illumination of an infrastructure Self in the book, Growing Within, The Psychology of Inner Development, as does the Intoxicating and Forbidden Love poetry of Rumi.
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I used to believe that people actually became enlightened, and that the event was similar to someone winning the jackpot in a national lottery. Once the price had been won, the beneficiary would thereafter be guaranteed permanent bliss, infallibility and incorruptible goodness.
In my ignorance, I thought these people had obtained and owned something that made them special and totally different from me. This illusory idea reinforced in me the belief that enlightenment was virtually unobtainable except for an extraordinary and chosen few. These misconceptions sprang from some image I held of how a state of perfection should look. I was not yet able to see that enlightenment has nothing to do with the idea of perfection. These beliefs were greatly strengthened when I compared my imagined inadequacies with the picture I held of whichever ‘spiritual hero’ I happened to be attracted to at the time.
I feel that most people see enlightenment in a similar way.
Certainly there have been, and still are, many who seek to encourage such beliefs and who have actually claimed to have become enlightened. I now see that this is as pointless a declaration as someone proclaiming to the world that they can breathe.
Essentially the realization of enlightenment brings with it the sudden comprehension that there is no one and nothing to be enlightened. Enlightenment simply is. It cannot be owned, just as it cannot be achieved or won like some trophy. All and everything is oneness, and all that we do gets in its way by trying to find it.
Those who make claims of enlightenment or take certain stances have simply not realized its paradoxical nature and presume ownership of a state they imagine they have achieved. They are likely to have had a deep personal experience of some kind, but this bears absolutely no relationship to liberation. Consequently, they still remain locked in their own individual concepts based on their own particular belief systems.
These people often need to take on the role of ‘spiritual teachers’ or ‘enlightened masters’ and inevitably attract those who need to be students or disciples. Their teaching, still rooted in dualism, inevitably promotes a schism between the ‘teacher’ and those who choose to follow the teaching. As the following increases, so does the exclusive role for the master need to be enhanced.
One of the usual symptoms, when such a role has been adopted, is a clampdown of any admission or sign of ‘human weakness’. This condition usually creates distance between the ‘master’ and his or her followers. As the specialness of the ‘master’ becomes more effective, and the demands of the followers become greater, so invariably do the teachings become more obscure and convoluted. As the obscurity of the teaching increases, so does the schism get wider, and many of the followers often become more confused and submissive. The usual effect on those involved can be unquestioning adulation, disillusionment, or an awakening and moving on.
However, these kinds of influences have established and maintained an illusory sense of doubt and inadequacy in the collective unconscious about people’s ability to open to and realize something that is as natural, simple and available as breathing.
Those who have fully comprehended and embraced liberation have absolutely nothing to sell. When they share their understanding, they have no need to embellish themselves or what they share. Neither do they have any interest in being mothers, fathers or teachers. Exclusivity breeds exclusion, but freedom is shared through friendship.
--- from The Open Secret by Tony Parsons.
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I am entertaining buying and constructing a 30' diameter yurt (see http://coloradoyurt.proxy.calltoday.ws/yurts/yurt_101/index.php) as an example.Anyone ever stayed in a yurt for a week or longer?Would anyone considering living in one for a year or longer?Thanks for any feedback!Howard
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Does anyone have an opinion on the quality of the content of this set of CDs by WEI Founder Andrew Cohen?http://www.andrewcohen.org/8cdset/main.asp?ecp=tat-040809
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Posted by Trey Carland on March 11, 2009 at 11:47pm
Ever since I discovered the idea of enlightenment a couple of years ago, I have felt compelled to find out as much as I could about it. I have been a researcher of sorts, taking in all of these things compiling them, sharing them with others, etc. My intellectual comprehension has continued to deepen, as has my experiential understanding. What I have found quite useful is reading certain things that resonate with me multiple times. I have found that I am not always present enough to hear what is being said the first time. In effect, I may not be ready to hear this now, but may be later. The other benefit to continuing to read about such things is that it serves as a constant reminder to look deeper. Otherwise, you read a book about enlightenment and say, “Well, that’s interesting,” and then leave it at that.
However, it seems to be that we all want the same thing: a sense of peace that is not determined or affected by what the world throws at us. We all want to be happy. So, it seems in order for us to do that, we have to be able to be completely at peace with who we are. How can we be happy when we are playing a role, trying to please others? Why can’t we just be ourselves and not care about pleasing others? What if being ourselves is all it takes to please others? Then we must first recognize who we truly are beyond the roles we have played all of our lives.
Along my personal journey, I have picked up various pointers that have resonated with me. Pointers are wonderful tools that help guide the mind toward what we truly are. We, in effect, use this mind to search for ourselves, but can’t rely on it to understand what we are looking for. Intellectual understanding is great, and I think is a necessary part of finding yourself, but eventually those mental concepts become a hindrance and have to be put aside to make room for the actual experience of what is true.
The pointers I have provided below have helped me bring about the experience of understanding rather than the mental movement of understanding (though both seem to happen). I invite you to experiment with them on your own to see what happens. Try sitting with one pointer, or one sentence of a pointer for a while rather than just give it all a once over and forget about it. You may find that some of them work some of the time and not at others, but I recommend try them all over and over. It might be helpful for you to copy and paste them into a document you can print out for future use, or write some on post it notes to place around as reminders.
Lately I’ve found that the most simple, yet profound, pointers are those that just tell you to look at yourself. In fact, according to John Sherman, if you simply look at yourself as often as you think of it, you are guaranteed to find what you are looking for, which is what you have always been and didn’t realize it ;)
Pointers:
When needless thoughts arise and you notice them, turn them into gibberish or replace them with blah blah blah. Witness the thoughts as they turn into meaninglessness and disappear into silence.
What’s more real, the thoughts in my head, or the fact that I am here? Check in and see.
Simply look at yourself. Not in the mirror. Just look at yourself. Ask yourself, “Who am I?” and follow your attention inward, as if your point of focus has rotated 180 degrees.
Look at who you think you are. Look at your mind made image of yourself, how you see yourself, how you think others see you. What is really there?
Point your finger around at different objects, looking at what it points at along the way. Then point the finger at your own face. Look at what it is pointing at.
Who or what is looking through my eyes? Close your eyes and “look” (or focus your attention) at what’s right behind your eyes.
Focus your attention on your inner body. Feel the life underneath your skin. Feel your breath.
Be still and notice the stillness around you. Listen to the silence underneath the noises you hear.
Focus on the empty space around you. Look around and become aware of the space that encompasses everything.
Think about this: Nothing ever happened. Everything in the past is just your imagination.
There is just this. Just what is in front of you at this moment. The only thing that really exists is just this, only this. Right here, right now.
Look at things for the first time, as if you had never seen them before. Drop your stories and labels and just look through the eyes that don’t know anything. What was it before you knew what it was?
Let it (everything) be, just as it is. Look at the simple isness of it. See it only for what it is. It is simply here, just here, in your presence, and you are aware of it being present.
Look at your hands as they manipulate things. Watch them as they move around with their own innate intelligence. You don’t need to control them, they know what they’re doing. What will they do next? Just witness.
You are not the doer. See what it’s like when you stop pretending to be in control. Just let the body lead the way and see where it takes you.
I am ALWAYS right here. I am, and always have been, aware of my own existence, my here-ness. I am never not aware that I exist. In every circumstance, I am always aware of the space that I am in. The one constant, never changing fact is that I am aware of myself. I am totally conscious (aware) of being here (present) where ever I am. I see that I exist even when I am unaware that I am aware. “I am” even when I don’t know “I am.”
Look at a past memory. What was it that was there witnessing it? What hasn’t changed since then? What has always been there, where every you have been, what ever you have done? You. Your simple “you-ness” has always been present at any given point in your life. Quietly watching your life unfold.
What if this same witnessing presence that looks through your eyes is the same witnessing presence that is looking through everyone else’s eyes? Look around at others as if your witnessing presence is actually the same presence looking through their eyes. In effect, take your awareness and wrap it around behind the eyes of others. The only difference is your outward appearance and your past experiences. You may have different thoughts, but that which is always here for us (our witnessing presence) is the same for all of us.
If I’m asked, “Are you enlightened yet?” I would say, “Yes. I always have been. I just haven’t fully realized it yet.”
Driving (or walking) Meditation:
As you drive down the road (highways and byways where there is not stop and go traffic is best), focus your eyes a slight bit higher, or lower, or to the left or right of where you would typically look. As you do so, open up your field of vision so that you are focusing not just on what is in front of you, but also what is in your peripheral vision. Expand your view so that you are taking in more of the scenery all around rather than just what is right in front of you. Experiment by looking around at different points in front of you (i.e. a little to the left of center, a little above center, etc.). As you do so, remain aware of your peripheral vision. You can simultaneously be aware of what is in front of you and what is all around you. You can enjoy looking at the sky as you drive down the road just with a slight shift in your perspective. Even the lines painted on the road are more alive when they are noticed. Take it all in. Be aware of it.
As you do this, notice if you feel any tension in your body. Relax into it by taking a smiling breath. This is life. It’s always all around you even when you don’t notice. Don’t be afraid to look around when you drive. You don’t even have to turn your head to do it. Surrender to the fact that you don’t have any control over your fate when you get in a car (or in any other circumstance for that matter). There’s nothing to fear if life is giving you everything you need to experience to bring about your own fulfillment. In short, you’re not driving, you’re being driven. Since we’re all on a hunk of rock that’s spinning a thousand miles per hour and hurtling through space at half a million miles per hour, why not sit back and enjoy the ride?
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By Dr. Steve Goldberg, Chiropractor and Naturopathic healerForward by Howard McQueenForwardI sent Steve an email describing a big chunk of deep fear that broke free from a Fearberg inside me. I was working to keep a balance on my journey and shared my experience with him. Below is Steve’s response, which he allowed me to republish.THE DILEMMA OF PULLING THINGS UP FROM BELOWI respect your searching, the dilemma of pulling things up from below. The analogy for me is fishing in the Back River at Tybee.A line can be dropped from a boat in the middle of the river where it is the deepest. Something will take the bait, get hooked. Because the salt water here is so dark compared to the Caribbean or Pacific waters, we can't see what has come up from the depths till we get it out of the water.The dilemma then is what to do if we caught a toad fish or something non edible or something from the unconscious that makes us uncomfortable. Do we realize, sanitize, and neutralize what stinks or throw it back into the depths and hope it sinks out of sight and out of mind -- for a while anyway. Then, head for dry land, take a break and go lie on the beach in the sun; but, being mindful of sunburn. This dilemma of life is un-escapable.A question is how do we navigate our way thru the mess and manage to be joyful and peaceful. Create a mask or semi-permeable barrier to still let in life giving oxygen, but neutralize the ever present smell of crap from the accumulation of the toxic waste? Where is the Safe Zone? How do we manage to sustain a healthy open heart?Somehow, [our work is to] clear up and clear out our inner pain, deception, fear, mistrust and transform the toad fish into something nicer to be around. Be compassionate with the ignorance, selfishness and harm that others cause. Just visiting here may be the best attitude. Maybe, our attitude is probably one of the only things of permanence we really own? Be in this world, but not of it. Peace and Joy must somehow be the reward of this effort.Ah, yes, time to go to work...
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Posted by Trey Carland on January 31, 2009 at 11:51am
Hey guys,
I hope you are enjoying the cooler weather and the sky that gets larger as the leaves on trees disappear. I wanted to pass this along as an invitation to take some time for personal investigation. I almost called this one “That’s My Story and I’m Sticking to It” but opted for something a bit simpler.
Byron Katie likes to ask, “Who would you be without your story?” In fact, that’s the name of her newest book. Eckhart Tolle tells us that “You are not your story.” I recommend spending some time looking at what who you are without your story. Seeing yourself without your story involves dropping your past. If you set aside all of the ideas of who you are, who are you? Where are you? What are you doing here? What is all this?
It’s a return to innocence we are talking about here. If you have kids, or watched children, then you have vicariously witnessed what the world looks like to someone who has no preconceived notion of what it is they are looking at. The fascination with the world around them is present without the mental constructs and labels grown ups have. It’s joyful to watch an infant looking out at the world with a sense of awe. That’s our true nature, but we lose site of it along the way as we carve out identities for ourselves and for others.
You are not your name. When that idea first came to me it was a bit shocking. It was as if the question, “Who would you be without your story?” had taken on a new depth to it. Before, I was Trey looking at who Trey would be without his story. Then, all of the sudden, I had to take Trey out of it. If I’m not my name, who am I? We’re so attached to our names, because we have been called by them all our lives, that we don’t even realize that who we are is far more than just a name.
What was it before you knew what it was? Look at anything around you and ask yourself, “What was that before I knew what it was?” There was a time when you didn’t know what it was. What was it then? It must have been a complete mystery. Just as the infant looks on the world with the same curiosity and wonder, you can look at that with the same nameless sense of wonder that permeates everything we have come to know.
Throughout each day, we are adding to and narrating our story. Our minds are like story tellers weaving a tale about everything that pops up in our life. I’m constantly telling stories in my head. In fact, for each one of the blogs I actually write up and send out, I mentally write half a dozen. My mind is busy writing instead of Being a great deal of the time. Or it’s caught in a vicious, repetitive, ego dominated conversation with someone who’s not there. When I realize it’s happening I have a choice to either stop the story, or just notice that it’s going on. But I still get sucked into my story over an over again.
Recently I started compiling my past blog posts into one big journal. I’ve been writing these for the past few years and decided I would put them all together into a book. It was beneficial for me to go back and read what I had once written, but in the process of compiling them I realized that I was contributing to the story of the guy who shares these ideas, insights and teachings with others, still seeing myself as my own mind made identity (or the “little me” as some have called it).
Why not just stop telling my story? In my case I think it’s my mind’s self-defense mechanism. When I am setting aside my story, dropping my thoughts, becoming present, connecting with the witnessing presence underneath, becoming still, allowing everything to be as it is (however you want to state it), the mind tends to come in with an attempt to describe it, or grasp it, thereby ensuring its survival. It is attached to the story and doesn’t want to let go. Who would I be without everything I hold as true? It’s a bit scary so the mind starts seeking and the story is then reborn. In fact, the story of the little me who can not see my true nature due to my attachment to my story, is yet just another layer to the story. Raman Maharshi said, “The only blockage to self realization is the idea that there is a blockage. You already are what you are seeking.”
I believe this is a quote by Papaji but I did not cite it when I wrote it down. “So put your story away. It is not who you are. People usually live carrying a burden of past and future, a burden of their personal history, which they hope will fulfill itself in the future. It won’t, so roll up that old scroll. Be done with it.” Gangaji invites us not to deny the story, but not to indulge the story either, and take an opportunity to see what is untouched by the story.
Byron Katie tells us, “We do only three things in life: We sit, we stand, and we lie horizontal. That’s about it. Everything else is a story.” The story is sticky because we’ve been telling it for so long, but what we truly are is far more substantial than just a name or a history or a set of beliefs. But don’t take my word for it. See for yourself who you would be without a story. See what the things around you would be without a story.
In peace,
The story formerly known as Trey ;)
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(C) 2009 Howard McQueenWe practice surrendering all the time. We don't need to be taught to surrender - We are adept at surrendering!Most of us, however, have been surrendering to ideals that are impermanent, things that are forged and made from the mind of man.We've been surrendering to money, to corporations, to government programs, to our fantasies, to our vanities, to our insecurities, to our fears.Then, when we spend an hour or two each week, believing we are dedicating ourselves to that which is holy, that which is sacred, we surrender ourselves yet again often to something else external and/or conceptual.Were we to surrender to our integrity, imagine the possibilities.We are only beginning to learn and to trust in our innate ability to honor that which is within us, to uncover that which is authentic, that which is at peace, that which knows no separation exists. Perhaps it is this that we need to honor and surrender to.And not just one or two hours a week, but constantly in surrender, in the service of that which is sacred within us, within you, within me, within the street beggar, within the ultra wealthy, within the muslem, the dirty politician, every single ONE of us.If you cannot yet feel an internal surrender taking place, pick a mountain top, a patch of ocean, a baby creature, anything not made by the mind of man, and begin surrendering with it. You will be amazed and feel a deep inner resonance. Thus, you feel a sacred presence within, and through connection with that which appears to be external, you honor All that is.Howardp.s. Perhaps the synonym for surrendering to the external made in the mind of man (when heart is not equally present) could be called slip-sliding and succumbing – sufferin’ succotash. Welcome to OUR work.
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Posted by Trey Carland on January 29, 2009 at 3:01pm
Hello all,
I hope your new year is off to a great start and feel certain that this will be your year to shine. I wanted to pass this note on to those of you you might find it helpful in some way. Be well.
This could be considered a follow up to my previous post (And the Story Goes On), but I am beginning to fully realize, on an experiential level, the profound simplicity of the words, “Let everything be as it is.” This is something repeated by Eckhart Tolle and is also referred to as “accepting what is,” or accepting the “isness” of the present moment. I knew what it meant intellectually, and have been heeding this advice for a while now, but just recently experienced the meaning of the words more deeply. Despite the seeming redundant nature of this realization (based on previous experiences), I am slowly internalizing these pointers for what they are, due in part to continuous and repeated exposure.
In this particular case I was peeing in the toilet and as I looked down I dropped the story of what a toilet was and looked at it from the present moment perspective, as if I had no past reference to tell me what a toilet was. I just let it be as it was. As I did so the pure simplicity of its isness shined through. It had no name, no story, it just was present. I became simultaneously aware of the one looking at the toilet and thoughts subsided. The toilet was still a toilet, but I just let it be completely as it was, in its natural state of nothingness, as in no name or description. It was simply a never seen before object. It was just a presence, or something here, now. (BTW - I was still able to close the lid, flush, wash my hands, etc., but those actions took place without my needing to do anything, and I was able to just enjoy witnessing each step happen.)
It seems so simple to just let something be as it is, dropping the story and just accepting what is present as an indescribably mystery, as nothingness. That is, in essence, what it is. The word essence is one of those terms I had a mental image of, which meant I was missing the literal meaning of it. Essence for me conjured up the idea of some luminous core. But in simple terms, essence is just the simple or basic substance of something (you might want to look it up in a dictionary).
A toilet is, in essence, a molded ceramic object. But it becomes even more simple than that when viewed from a present moment perspective. It is, in essence, just some nameless thing with a certain shape and texture. But at the deepest level, when you are so present you have no past reference at all, it just is.
This slight shift in perspective is what it all seems to be about. Take any object and look at it. Remove the idea you have in your head about what it is. Look at it as if you have never seen it before. What is it? If it has no name, no known purpose, no labels, what is it you are looking at? What is it, in essence (or on the most basic level), that you have in front of you? Let it be there, just as it is, nothing more, without trying to figure it out or describe it.
For me, what “it” is becomes much more clear. It takes on a richer texture, a new vividness, and an aliveness all its own. Then, it can’t even be said to be an object, because what is an object? It just is. It is just as it is. Nothing more, nothing less. The innate beauty is available for viewing and experiencing when thoughts are removed from the equation. Thoughts about “it” cloud the simple isness of what it is. Its presence (or here-ness) is all there really is to it, but it is a wonderful thing to see.
Taking all of these terms and pointers in a more literal sense cleared things up for me. However, I have to say that becoming fully present is still not easy for me to do very often (sometimes it’s easier than others). It takes a willingness, or one could say a determination, to see what is for what it is. The mind likes to step in and describe or instruct, but thoughts too can be viewed in this same simple way. They are present and can be viewed as what is in this moment, especially when you view them from the perspective of not being “your” thoughts, or not taking them personally. This creates some space between You (the witness of the thoughts) and your thoughts, which makes them less likely to suck you in.
In short, you can change your perspective and change the world.
In peace,
Trey
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