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Unentangling

Posted by Howard McQueen on July 28, 2011 at 7:30pm

Version 3.1

As we gain experience coming face-to-face

with our insecurities,

we have the opportunity to befriend our self.

When seen as opportunities to reconnect to intimacy,

we discover we can take on the often difficult work of

dropping illusions,

dissolving fantasies

and coming to peace with whatever remains divided and separated within.

Unentangling our self from this web we've spun

is to build the capability to discern between what is real and in the now,

and what we have self-contrived.

This is where we clear our path to befriending our self.

Let us meet our self in the field of what is real

and become responsive, in real-time,

to whatever life brings our way.

The Underlying Should

Posted by Trey Carland on July 12, 2011 at 12:35am

My wife and I started attending a perinatal loss support group not long after we lost our daughter, Stella. It has been quite helpful to share our story with others and to hear what others have been through. I was amazed at how common infant loss really is, whether it's in the form of miscarriage or still birth or some other form death before a child's first birthday. The statistics are quite humbling, and it's safe to say that you know someone, or know someone that knows someone, who has experienced a loss of this nature. People just don't talk about it, which is why support groups, both online and in person, are so helpful.

In one of our discussions at a recent support group meeting we were talking about interpersonal relationships, and one of the men said that he didn’t like to be “should on.” When he felt like someone was telling him how he should feel, or what he should do, he would tell them, “Don’t should on me!” I’ve known for some time that “should” was a word to watch out for, but I was glad to hear someone else acknowledge it.

“Should” is often used in a way that implies we know how things are supposed to be (“supposed to” is another way of saying “should”). This implies that we know how life should be unfolding in any given situation. We get upset or experience some form of frustration when we're wrong about things, which is why we never really allow ourselves to admit when we're wrong. Instead of accepting being wrong, we declare our rightness by saying things should be different in order for them to be right, or at least meet our vision of what's right. So, you could say that no one is ever wrong about anything and that it’s the world that’s wrong, which explains a great deal about human conflict -- both internal and external.

Though “should” usually comes from a place of “I know best,” it doesn’t always come across as negative. It can be as innocent as, “You should try some of this pie,” or some other type of invitation, or positive encouragement to join in something someone thinks you would enjoy. But it can be a slippery slope to more negative things if you decline an invitation but are continually pressured, or made to feel bad for declining. A slight shift can also turn an invitation into a suggestion with negative undertones, like, “You should really stop eating pie.”

As you can see there is a gray area, and the person being "should upon" could easily feel like a victim regardless of the intentions of the "shoulder." However, most people are well-intentioned since they think they're right about everything. They are just innocently trying to make everything else right that they see wrong, or make everything the way it should be. Makes sense doesn't it? After all, that's what we’ve been doing all along.

The bottom line is that the word "should" is usually at the root of all mental or emotional suffering. Look at any aspect of your life that makes you feel angry, sad, frustrated, etc., then look for the "should." When you feel a negative emotion, it typically means that something is wrong, as in something out there doesn't mesh with the way things are supposed to be.

The root “should” will take various forms. “He shouldn’t have said that.” “She should treat me better.” “He should be more understanding.” “I should have reacted differently.” “I should be able to afford nicer things.” In the context of our recent loss, the underlying should would be, "My baby should not have died." It all boils down to one central theme, “Things should be different than they are.” The effects of a “should” range from mild frustration to deep sorrow, but you can always find a “should” where suffering is apparent.

How can I stop shoulding on myself and others? I can notice it. I can look for it when I feel upset and question it. Is it true that this or that should have happened or not happened? How did I get to be all knowing enough to decide what should or should not be? I can’t possibly know the reason behind things that happen, and I can second guess them to death, but it just leads to more suffering. I’ve found that it’s much more helpful to recognize that “what is” could not be otherwise. Acceptance of “what is” is the only antidote for compulsive shoulding, and is also the key to peace. Acceptance is a way of saying, “Things are exactly as they should be, whether I can see any logic to it or not.”

Be careful not to should on yourself for shoulding. That just leads to circular frustration and is a form of not accepting your own habitual tendencies. In other words, don’t think that you should be more accepting than you are. Just notice when a “should” appears and look at it without judgment. Gradually the “shoulds” will become more apparent and cease to arise as much, or at least lose their power to cause suffering.

When it comes to relating to others, watch for “shoulding on another shoulder.” In other words, when someone else tells you what you should or should not be doing, and you say, “Don’t should on me,” it’s another way of telling them what they should not be doing. By all means, feel free to call someone out if you feel so compelled, just notice that you are matching their “should” with your own. Another option in that situation is to notice that they are doing to you what you have been doing to yourself and others all of your life: acting out of habitual tendency. When you notice their “should” without judgement or “counter-shoulding,” conflicts (internal and external) quickly subside along with the negative feelings that typically arise when you are being “should upon.”

You can’t do this life thing wrong, but you can live with more peace when you get tired of suffering. So, consider this to be a polite invitation to see what it’s like without “shoulds.”

Be well,
Trey

IN DREAM

Posted by Howard McQueen on July 7, 2011 at 10:39am

From the book Beauty, By John O’Donohue

Page 190

When you consider where we go and who we become in dream, it is often an achievement to show up for breakfast in the morning.

FLOWING

Posted by Howard McQueen on July 7, 2011 at 10:38am

On the bridge,

just before dusk.

Not a cloud in the sky.

The river flows slowly,

its surface smooth as glass.

Surprisingly, there is the appearance of

ultra-fine rain dimpling the surface.

Hmmm.

Down at water’s edge is evidence:

a vast civilization of mobilized water bugs,

their staccato movements of propulsion

ever-so-slightly dimpling the surface.

A procession of impressions

flow across the surface of our awareness.

Memories, like minnows, are drawn to the surface.

Deeper below, darkness-dwelling creatures

are awakened by all the stirring.

We are hard wired into the interface with the phenomena of experience.

Breathe deeply.

All phenomena will pass,

so long as we too

remain flowing.

~~~

Enhanced by a bit of ghost coaching from Heart McQueen.

Go Forth Now-The Council Twelve-KOR C.N. RODGERS

Posted by KOR RODGERS on July 5, 2011 at 11:30am

Go Forth Now
The Council Twelve
Channel: KOR C.N. RODGERS
June 4, 2011

We are here and we bring you much light, love and energy in this now.

We announce the time is now to answer your call to upliftment and service to your planet of residence.

In our past messages we have been preparing you to be ready and to awaken your Divine Senses.

We now activate you, those of you that are ready and open to the energy of LIGHT and the Divine Spark.

It is truly a time to activate as this opportunity comes around in a linear time table that is too liquid to give exact measuring as to when it will happen again.

We do not provoke fear using this alerting tone.

It is to give you the facts and details to create a sense of urgency.

Look withIN and listen to the ‘still small voice’ that is speaking.

This aspect of an ‘inner knowing’ is alive and well and is actively waiting to speak.

You may be directed to go to another locale or to leave your present plan and move to a new process that you may find you have been struggling to put out of your thoughts.

Each of you will have their own contracts and we can not speak to all the possibilities.

Let us guide you and do so call out to your personal guides to find what these paths for you are to be and then embark on this your newest journey.

We have spoken of the divisions that are ‘appearing’ in an ever more apparent way at this stage of upliftment for your platform of existence.

These divisive appearances will continue until they lose their energy.

We suggest that you simply observe and not place any fear energy into them.

We suggest you may use a process the channel calls ‘the Truth-Light Project’.

State that you wish to focus rays of LIGHT to be focused onto any of those that are working to hold onto the old ways of approaching the 3D life, onto those that are using fear to hold the ways of thinking that have been placed into the mass consciousness that keep power for those that want to control the masses, those that want to dominate, those with no thought of spiritual awareness.

Forgive them.

The Truth-Light Project has nothing to do with punishment; its purpose is to make such agendas transparent.

We say there is no ‘good or bad’ there is however a ‘higher vibratory’ way to proceed.

For you to take the ‘high road’ may be the gentle way of verbal usage.

There are many new individual sparks of LIGHT now that will be reading this and be assisting the more seasoned LightWorkers.

Hear the HeartVoice and if what we say resonates, you now have activation.

Blessings of LIGHT are always upon your path.

A note from the channel: I sense I cannot copyright these messages. The words and energy are of the LIGHT and therefore I ask that as you pass along any of this information, please include the complete and total message with a link to:
http://www.healingstargate.com

DOUBT (Don Miguel Ruiz)

Posted by Howard McQueen on June 27, 2011 at 11:37am

From the Daily Inspiration service of Don Miguel Ruiz

Doubt is a powerful tool. Doubt challenges my beliefs and breaks the spell of all the lies and superstitions that control my world. I use doubt to recover faith in myself, to take my power back from every superstition I believe in, and return that power to myself.

PATIENCE AS A REQUISITE

Posted by Howard McQueen on June 21, 2011 at 12:00pm

Exploring our inner landscapes,

especially the darkened places

where the candle has been seemingly snuffed out.

It often takes multiple visits

to relight the candle that seems to have blown out.

And, even then, those mind-made miseries

may take a while to relax and dissolve.

Sometimes it requires a courage to eat the demon.

Sometimes it is manifesting the patience to fully digest

and integrate what we've swallowed.

RADICAL INQUIRY

Posted by Howard McQueen on June 17, 2011 at 10:30am

Version 2.0

Time to reassess.

Time to sober up.

Time to let go all the false pretenses and ignorance.

Time to stop that hiding in the shadows,

relying upon all those repetitious patterns of self-medication.

Engaging life.

Riding the bronco.

Looking the dragon in the eye.

Eating the demon for breakfast.

Being in this world without acting out

fear, or arrogance

or creating any more artificial separation.

Invite in this willingness to radically inquire,

to cleans our wounds of all infections

and allow us to tender our hearts

and clarify our resolve

to continually open to what is true.

Time to choose living now, in the unknowing.

THE INFECTION OF SEPARATION

Posted by Howard McQueen on June 17, 2011 at 10:30am

We humans live in the seeming paradox

of being both distinct life forms as well as being interwoven into life.

We believe our pain is unique

instead of shared

and we disconnect into the artificial illusions of separation.

We can become so practiced with separation that what is artificial

covers over what is real

and we become lost in the smoke and mirrors ...

UNTIL

We choose to wean ourselves

from all that which is artificial.

It is process which allows us to become born again.

We drop our illusions,

forgive ourselves,

reclaim oiur innocence

and step into the courageous heart.

APPRECIATING THIS MORNING

Posted by Howard McQueen on June 17, 2011 at 10:00am

What is universal,

lights up my eyes

and all my senses.

Membranes, skin and bones

form these temporary boundaries

and I claim this shell-of-a-body as my home.

Fifty trillion cells coalesce and make agreement to cooperate

in organic, clockwork-like rhythms.

The bounty of our Earth is brought to my table,

all this effort brought to bear to sustain my life

and my awareness.

I am alive and awakening

in this unbelievably raw and beautiful biosphere of existence.

AWESOME ...

WOW ...

May I learn to deeply and steadfastly show my appreciation

for just being alive,

for the blessings of one more morning,

to see the universal in everything living,

especially through the veils of struggle and suffering.

VIBRATING WITH DELIGHT

Posted by Howard McQueen on June 17, 2011 at 10:00am

Like experiencing magic for the very first time,

like the first glimpse of the ocean

or the snow-capped mountains,

we hold a depth-of-capacity

to vibrate with delight.

A ten year old sofa bed is retired from the vacation rental cabin

and is donated to a consignment shop.

A single young mother scrapes up the money to buy this,

so very delighted to have something like this to grace her home.

So many wait staff and service people beam their brightest of smiles,

when shown just the slightest of appreciation.

Cultivate your delight

share your delight with others,

and share in the delight of others.

Learn to tune into the vibration and radiation of delight.

Catch all the opportunities to wildly be caught,

to bubble up and effervesce in the contagiousness of delight.

If you catch yourself closed down to the vibration of delight,

ask your inner child if she/he has experienced too much delight.

;-)

Step back on this vibrating train of delight.

It makes stops to honor times of sadness and grief.

You can get back on this train anywhere and anytime.

Your ticket to ride

came pre-paid

for your entire lifetime.

SUMMONING TROUBLED TIMES

Posted by Howard McQueen on June 4, 2011 at 12:30pm

The troubled mind is so easily isolated, so easily it maneuvers our awareness back into a corner:

too much information,

not enough information,

needing to control outcomes.

The mind cramps and our inner weather darkens

as old patterns of trouble accept invitation to take root and dominate.

LIKE SELLING A HOUSE AND BUYING A HOUSE

The mind wants to quantify and economize.

The mind wants to fantasize and splurge.

The mind wants to become a foreclosure expert.

The mind wants to setup a war room with parcel maps and printouts to track every transaction.

The mind desires discipline and laser focus and a will to exclude all else to get the job done, to complete the mission.

LAYERS & LAYERS TO THE COMMAND AND CONTROL PROGRAMMING

Lightness of being is crowded out with all this mental siege machinery being called into service. What ever happened to the sacred journey, the connection to all that is alive?

Relax!

Reconnect to the warmth of your heart.

Allow your heart to set the intended emotional tone

for what it is you wish to manifest as your home.

Let this scent-of-feeling vision be your guide,

what you constantly consult,

as you navigate this great unknown.

Certainly become familiar and informed with the formulas and mechanics of finance, modeling your budget and monitoring your cash flow.

There is absolutely no need to become fearful and obsessed!

Remember the wisdom in maintaining a lightness-of-being

as your guiding principal.

Wait and watch for the magical signposts

as heartwarming outcomes will manifest

and you will not longer need to summon

all the old patterns of trouble and stress.

COME TO PEACE

Posted by Howard McQueen on June 3, 2011 at 11:32am

Become deeply anchored in this home, your organic body.

Let your emotions be felt,

passing them through your heart,

to guide your purity of intent.

Intermixed with all the blissfulness,

are the emotions of anger, grief and shame.

These are the emotions that have been allowed

to bypass the heart

and fester in the mind

as wounds that ooze as suffering.

Consider how useless it is for you

to try to take away the suffering of another.

This is their choice, their work, on their terms.

Come to peace with all things.

Remain quietly courageous and joyful,

especially amidst those who are suffering.

Share your presence gently, silently and when sincerely requested.

Be the light, the love, demonstrating this through common,

everyday examples in your encounters with others.

THE SWEETNESS OF HEART

Posted by Howard McQueen on June 3, 2011 at 11:30am

Set aside, for the moment, that special someone we refer to as our sweetheart.

Turn inwardly with me so together,

we can cultivate an appreciation for our inner heart-space.

You are the chef, the alchemist, the director responsible for the sweetness of your heart. When you place all your resources,

all your being, in the service of keeping your heart sweet,

life itself becomes increasingly sweet.

The sweet heart recognizes that there are bitter and sour experiences

that the heart will be challenged to experience.

The sweet heart gently compels the mind to stay in synch, in partnership.

This nudges the mind so that it does not remain stuck in bitterness

or become soured to life.

The sweetness already exists within, in an inextinguishable abundance.

This is the natural state of the heart, as the feeling center for your entire being.

Feel your world,

feel your heart,

and put your mind into the service of your heart.

WELCOME TO BEING OVERWHELMED

Posted by Howard McQueen on June 3, 2011 at 11:30am

I’m overwhelmed again,

having encountered an inner burden,

a blockage that alters and depreciates

my connection to the present moment.

Being overwhelmed is reaching another inner threshold,

an opportunity to grow, inwardly.

It could be something you need to fully witness to integrate.

It could be shifting your relationship with another and reclaiming your power.

It could be surrendering your walls and armor.

Welcome these moments of being overwhelmed.

Do your work,

to the best of your abilities,

and be gentle and honest with yourself.

There seems to be an infinite depth to the mystery of being alive and aware.

LIVING WITH AN OPEN HEART

Posted by Howard McQueen on May 21, 2011 at 12:13pm

How do we, once we have opened our heart,

live in a world with others
that behave in heartless ways?

Before we talk about everyone else,

we could perhaps ask ourselves

“how needy are we to receive the love of others?”

When we try to woo another

to win their affections and acceptance,

we often overlook the flaws and the wounds

that need to be seen, in order to be healed

An open heart need not buy into gullibility.

An open heart need not repeatedly allow itself to be betrayed.

An open heart acknowledges flaws in self and flaws in others,

and that the opening of the heart in others requires their own conscious choice.

An open heart does not stop trusting others

because it sees others, clearly

it feels the absence of heart in others, clearly

and it quietly encourages heart when others are open,

and leaves those who are closed, to potentially become open another day.

An open heart also knows when it is important to step back and rejuvenate,

and that there is never a need to accept abuse or misconduct from others.

The open heart is therefore wed to a depth of love for self,

and calls upon the reserves of courage to fiercely defend respect.

free will and destiny

Posted by Carl Dordelman on May 15, 2011 at 10:43pm

Free will and destiny are ever existent. Destiny is the result of past action; it concerns the body. Let the body act as may suit it. Why are you concerned about it? Why do you pay attention to it? Free will and destiny last as long as the body lasts. But jnana transcends both. The Self is beyond knowledge and ignorance. Whatever happens, happens as the result of one's past actions, of divine will and of other factors.
There are only two ways to conquer destiny or be independent of it. One is to enquire for whom is this destiny and discover that only the ego is bound by destiny and not the Self and that the ego is non-existent.
The other way is to kill the ego by completely surrendering to the Lord, by realizing one's helplessness and saying all the time, 'Not I, but Thou, oh Lord' and giving up all sense of 'I' and ‘mine’, and leaving it to the Lord to do what he likes with you. Complete effacement of the ego is necessary to conquer destiny, whether you achieve this effacement through Self-enquiry or bhakti marga (path).

~Ramana Maharshi

THE MINUTIAE HELD IN EACH MOMENT

Posted by Howard McQueen on May 14, 2011 at 12:00pm

Life unfolds in an infinitely high-definition, broadband overflow,

containing levels of granularity that are unknowable.

Most of the time, we are blessed to be insulated from this

overwhelming flow.

And yet, blessings can just as easily morph into curses,

as we rely upon our filters to create assumptions

that dumb-down our experiences.

This can lead to insular expectations for how we believe

life is supposed to unfold.

Once our awareness is dumbed-down, we begin to regard others

as an increasingly low-fidelity representation of what really is.

Like a photo with no depth-of-field, we loose touch with the complex

aliveness of the content conveyed through living.

Fortunately, we have allies in the form of curiosity and patience.

Deep within, we also have an innate regard for appreciating how we can still be

touched by awe and beauty.

As we train ourselves to slow down and observe this complex web and flow of life,

we learn not to make any snap judgments. Room is left to allow for both the

messiness and occasional clarities of insight to co-exist.

What is, is then, faithfully restored.

Our filtering lens - cleansed again.

Awakening, for most of us, is not a single, struck-by-lightening event.

It is this ongoing practice that leaves us willing to appreciate and explore

the infinite minutiae contained in every moment.

ABIDING LOVE

Posted by Howard McQueen on May 12, 2011 at 6:26am

An abiding love does not hold back.

It waits for opportunities to express its

myriad commitments to loving.

One who has this abiding love overflows from source,

feeling a deep, sweet centeredness

assert itself throughout their days.

An abiding love’s sweetness is contagious,

as it lands upon others as unconditional encouragement.

An abiding love brings us the lesson plans of inclusivity,

reminding us to focus on the shared universal

and to stay with the wisdom of remaining non-judgmental.

An abiding love

activates an inner vitality

in both its giver and receiver.

An abiding love

does not hope for anything to remain the same,

for it opens the door of curiosity

to whatever it encounters.

This abiding love

runs deep

in both you,

and me.

THE NECESSITY FOR FEELING VULNERABLE

Posted by Howard McQueen on May 10, 2011 at 11:08am

Our assessments,

our judgments

levied upon our self

"You failed under pressure"

"You failed to keep the marriage intact"

" You ... "

These judgments lodge very deep,

residing underneath

veiled and cloaked.

They are like silent thieves,

bands of saboteurs,

contract assassins.

They actualize self-limiting and corrupted

images of self, literally warping our mental states,

capturing our attention,

shifting our focus

to doubt, fear,

to believing we are inadequate,

and unnecessarily vulnerable.

Re-evaluation and reassessment

are processes where we become

empowered to dis-empower these judgments,

deconstructing the stories.

This is essential to our remaining vulnerable and vital.

As we learn to disengage our focus

and no longer believe these stories as valid

to our self-image,

a calm inner-centeredness is reclaimed.

We learn we can indeed train our attention

and hold the intention

to be present with life

as it unfolds in this moment.

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Note: this page contains paid content.