Blogs

Version 1.1

(C) 2011 Howard McQueen

When we grasp for things, we sometimes clinch,

 and pull ourselves off center.

When we shrink and hide, we become adrift,

 out-of-touch with our center.

When we realize we are over-indulging

 the ten thousand arising thought forms,

 we realize we've been robbing ourselves of our presence.

When we hold ourselves in contempt,

 through repetitious judgment,

 we set the wheel of suffering into motion.

Into this Oneness we are born,

 cast into a separate form.

Form is fleeting, the experience of occupying form

 is utterly fantastic,

 and terrifying.

The opportunity is present to witness and express

 the fullness of the human family,

 without overlooking or speeding past anything.

We will be broken,

 split wide open to the raw elemental forces

 that shape, scour and ultimately separate form 

 from its animating life force.

Remaining in our center with all that comes our way,

 is the greatest spiritual gift.

You've been given another turn.

What a marvelous opportunity to bear witness to  ...

Excerpts from Douglas E. Harding's book "Open to the Source".  Mr. Harding founded the "Headless Way" as a way, using direct experience, to connect to source. 

My comments are not bracketed, while Mr. Hardings are within brackets [ ] 

The personal ego can be so full of need to do, so anxious, so churning [Yet, what's needed is coming up form the depths just when it should.  In Heaven you discover the quiet upsurge from the Abyss.]

[If we wish to find out what it's really like to create the world, we have only to desire nothing and pay attention.]

[Part of the price of involvement in the world is to have feelings, some of which are agreeable, som of which are disagreeable, and some of which are tragic.  I can't exist, ca't express at all, without this dualism:  the dualism of good and evil, eauty and ugliness, black and white, etc., which is the inescapable condition of expressing into the world from the place that is free of those dualities.]

Version 1.1

(c) 2011 Howard McQueen

Deep within,

our demons snack upon our essence.

They are the quantum parasites taken up residence within our being.

This breath of essence we refer to as I

has the challenge to remain present and fully consciousness,

or trip off and vacate our body, loosing our awareness in the quantum distortion.

Welcome to the home of the Parasite.

It has the nickname - Fear.

It's reactor and energy core,

the need to manipulate and control.

For when we fear,

we are urged to give away the ultimate, abundant resource.

It goes by the labels of peaceful presence,

loving interconnectedness,

the grand romance with unity, the mysterious collective existence,

the perpetual knowing that all existence is both fleeting and forever,

that we are born into and are heir to all that is Timelessness.

Peeking into the paramount paradox of choice,

we realize we need not hand over the reigns to the Parasite.

Call it surrender,

call it inner Jihad,

Call it the thousand deaths by suffering.

Do whatever it takes,

or undo in yourself what has taken hold

so you can choose to no longer relinquish the reigns

on this never-ending journey.

This is the call to awaken and light up the world.

****

Begin to harness and reclaim the energetic emotions surrounding your fear. These are your allies in disguise. Realize that you cannot be extinguished and only you can leave yourself seemingly diminished.  Cultivate courage and not give yourself away to your fear.

This great artistry, being present and alive,

at the edge of the mystery,
and cultivating connection to listen to and heed the
whispered counsel of our deepest, inner intuition.

In our speed to complete, compete and remain bound to reactive patterns,
we speed past the fullness, failing to harvest and appreciate the bounty life brings.

Slow way down,
catch the rhythm of another
while also softly beating your own drum.
Practice co-ordinating the creation of another shared,
co-created rhythm,
stopping regularly to witness the evolution.
This is living in the impromptu,
making up what is manifest
without knowing what will turn out.

We all know how to do this.
Why have we settled for the security of sameness and conformity for so long?
Where has it gotten us?

*** ***** ***

Musicians, impromptu theater actors and comedians, speakers and poets can sometimes honor this space.  Let us encourage ourselves and everyone we meet to begin laying down their own stale molds and start living generously within the impromptu ... 

Version 2.5

(C) 2010 Howard McQueen

Within this Wholeness that has been breathed outward,
there are a whole host of characters wanting expression.

There is you and there is me.
And, even when there is only the "me",
there is an "i" and an "I".

We are bound to become entangled and confused
in the perplexity of all these relationships

and the sheer need for expressiveness. 

I am remembering a golden rule:
In my anxiety and fear,
before I assess and begin to blame you,
let me remember to ask what the "i" inside of me
most needs to express.

This fragmented "i" is born of our domestication,
is infected with a man-made sense of separation.

If we fully identify
with this "i",
differences of opinion never resolve,
unresolved differences escalate into conflict and derision.
We call upon our intellect to stimulate fight and flight
and create vast perceptual gaps,

and then we find our relationships defined by these gulfs of separation.

By awakening within this perplexity,
we have the capability to encourage the "i" to say what it feels to be separate
and allow the space and silence for deeper truths to shine through.
It is in listening to this separation-speak
and not projecting it upon another
that we begin to cleanse our "i" of its sensations of separation
and all it's flight and fight reactive-ness,
this anxiety ginned up believing in and then acting out our projections of separation.

What is left are the deeper sensations signaling our belonging,

the warm desire for connection,

and so much more.

For some these signals may not be any stronger than a faint perfume,

for others, a near and ever-present intoxicant.

Whatever the strength or intensity,

be of a strong heart and bring forth your compassion and encouragement

when you hear the pain and confused signals carried in separation-speak.

© 2011 Howard McQueen

What feelings and intent will we fill our world with?
These are matters for the heart to help us feel,
so we may then direct our healing.

We are awakening to a constant choosing:
to live in and broadcast our heart-felt presence,
to honor, share and acknowledge this presence with all living things.
As we do this, we create a high fidelity heart-felt experience.
By consciously connecting and activating our own heart,
we gently also invoke the invitation to awaken the hearts of others.
This literally activates the vast web of interconnected Heart space,
and the quality of our earthly experiences rise in fidelity,
and the quality of intents we shape and contribute to the world
aligns with this rising fidelity.

Make no mistake, this is the long-awaited, much anticipated
grand evolutionary symphonic movement,
this musical flowering of the heart.
It is joyous,
it is heart-breaking,
it carries the cries of loss
and the ecstasy of interconnection
as we more deeply learn the interplay of love and compassion.
It brings forth a humble as well as a fierce courage,
one born of knowing from a depth-of-integrity,
how to be responsive in each moment,
and bring forward heart-felt intent.

The opening and ripening of the heart
is the invitation to fully show up,
to be present,
to claim and occupy
the vibrant, life-giving sacred space
set aside for our spirit and consciousness to fully download and embody.
It is awakening and allowing the free flowing of our essence,
as we shift away from the drama of the head-stuff of programmed fear and separation
into the in-the-moment dance, being present, holding and activating our interconnections
and remaining in communion with the mysteries that will unfold.

It is a call to upgrade your own personal operating system,
to cleanup all the old, unsupported, judgmental programming,
and create the space within to stream
ultra high-fidelity heart,
the super-charged,
vital life force flowing
from pure source.
It all begins with passing what you intend to create directly through your heart,
again,
and again … and again.

Refrain
This human family is awakening,
as we join in streaming in
the rhapsodic infectious musically emotive language
of ultra high-fidelity heart-felt intent.

From Don Miguel Ruiz

Your heart can create any amount of love, not just for yourself but for the whole world. Open your heart, open your magical kitchen, and refuse to walk around the world begging for love. In your heart is all the love you need.

© 2010 Howard McQueen

All will be well,

and as it should

in each moment,

we cease resisting

what we fear.

When we can actually encourage,

actualize courage

from within.

What we fear

changes

When our relationship within

shifts.

The work of relationship,

freeing ourselves from

bindings and boundaries,

from the resistance grown

and installed within our operating system.

Relax and release

all fear.

Freedom awaits,

consciousness celebrates

our coronation.

Version 2.4 |  12/26/10

© 2010 Howard McQueen

We know, from our intimate experiences

with those we have loved and trusted,

and that have loved and trusted us,

that we, as one family,

have occasion to turn toward the infections of fear and confusion,

and become unconscious - overwhelmed.

This infection has spread,

till it seems to be so near,

seemingly at times,

so everywhere.

Rather than practice the long-standing patterns of avoidance,

we wait for the infection to erupt and confound,

and plunge ourselves straight into its core.

We are blessed with a conscious partner,

one where the agreement has been consecrated

“to remain holding on to one another”.

Rather than fling ourselves into separation,

we hold on as the storm rages.

It is such a tempest, such strong emotional eddies surge through us.

We remind each other that we are learning to share

the encouragement that comes

from holding on.

This holding on is a miraculous medicine

any two or more can invoke, 

just by holding on - together.

Holding on opens us to the direct experience of witnessing what we fear the most,

as seen through the eyes of another.

We learn by seeing what we are trying so hard to manipulate and control

and, in receiving this, have the honor to nurture and console another,

knowing we are ultimately also nurturing ourselves

and learning to let go

of the need to control -- outcomes.

Resident and underneath our motives of needing to manipulate and control

lie patience, grace and a growing wisdom

to allow most things to just be.

When left alone, these things and we

are swept into the timeless mystery

of not knowing.

and in this timeless space we uncover an inner trusting,

a willingness to rest and relinquish control

until the healing inevitably comes.

It is this healing that now also spreads,

virally, throughout our one family.

Find at least another someone,

and then let it be a community of others,

and make a pact to practice this art of holding on

and healing our family!

© 2010 Howard McQueen

Every moment of life is gifted to us,

so why is it we find ourselves

so often reminded

of when we experienced all the conditions to love,

all the conditioning passed on down stream to us,

conditions which suggested and often dictated

we no longer believe in the unlimited flow of love,

of nurturing,

of respect,

of being appreciated,

of being so interconnected with this great big human family,

this vastness of interconnection with all that is.

Our will, once influenced,

once infected with the false advertising of conditioning,

sets us to task to manufacture disturbance-based

strategies to avoid or to acquire

what we are already completely interwoven into

and inseparable from.

The sheer futility, the mental madness

The toxic emotional wasted-ness,

of hiding from, of by-passing, the sacredness of this life – well-lived.

Scarcity,

Lack,

Striving for,

Not being judged good enough,

Not feeling worthy or deserving

of this infinite moment to flow into the unlimited joy and love

of being alive.

We slip and trip in these personal pathways and corridors

so well worn by us,

so well trafficked by our fellow human family and all our ancestors.

These vast corridors that closet the mind

stretch into icy snow-drifted mazes,

which we believe are safe to seek comfort by hiding out,

from this great big unlimited flood of abundant love,

that comes rushing in at us,

not discriminating good from bad,

right from wrong,

pain from pleasure.

For all that judgment is left for us to decide,

or not to step into those corridors.

Set your resolve to become aware of what you are appreciating in the moment.

When you discover you have slipped into a corridor,

encourage your awareness to willfully step out of that corridor

into the freshness and vitality of the realness of this moment.

Then, you may choose how to go about unwrapping and more fully

appreciating this gift of life.

This morning I sat down and began to write about a common vision for community. My sense of community is focused around inner growth and developing unity.

This draft has omitted the important financial and labor contribution components.

So, below is a very early rough draft.

I am wondering if anyone else has any visions they would be willing to share? If so, please send these to howard@mcq.com.

**** COMMUNITY ****

We affirm, through our conscious intent, to build and sustain relationships that encourage co-operation and foster trust and respect.

As individuals, we hold ourselves responsible for developing a depth of understanding of our own unresolved and un-integrated feelings, emotions and fears.

We as individuals are also motivated to combine into co-operative relationships (partnerships, families, pods in a community, communities, etc.). While participating in these relationships and working to accomplish and realize shared goals, friction and conflict is inevitable. A core belief we hold is that conflict arises first and foremost as an internal energetic disturbance/imbalance. In addressing and working to resolve this inner conflict, we agree that the primary emphasis is to address the triggered inner conflict, not the external stimulus that serves to trigger the conflict. We agree to try out, test and, when appropriate, adopt various tools and modalities and become trained in facilitating inner growth.

Some examples of this lifestyle include:

Encouraging each other see the behavior patterns that short-circuit unity and lead to feelings of separation.

Encouraging each other to open-up and re-examine the stories and underlying beliefs that empower our shadowy fears.

Encouraging an ongoing adeptness in knowing when to be gentle and when to be direct and fierce to awaken ourselves and another.

Bringing forward our authentic voice and willingness to dialog, to encourage our individual and collective needs to coalesce into a shared vision, and into joyous activities where we can express and exchange our passions and appreciations.

© 2010 Howard McQueen

We give away our power to continue dynamically authoring our life

forgetting we are always @Choice to step into and embody our innate authority.

Most of the time, we become challenged to be @Choice

over the small things,

like feeling interrupted or not feeling heard.

And, because of past patterns that have left us with blind spots,

we blindly repeat patterns that create separation

from our inner, authentic authority.

It is really important to see what is really going on

in order to effect a shift in these victim-perpetrator stories.

If I fail to step into my courage and loose my voice

because I have the sensation that someone/something external has challenged my authority,

I have no business becoming frustrated or being mad or holding someone else responsible.

This merely perpetuates the originating experience when, as a young child, I was in a position of powerlessness.

That I am still behaving as if someone can seemingly wield power over me

reveals that I am still stuck in a repeating pattern,

that I still believe in the old story, thus perpetuating it,

that I am not remembering that just a touch of courage and encouragement

will dissolve all these stories

and allow me to be in touch with my innate, authentic authority.

This authority rests in love: love for self, love for the heart of humankind, love for speaking the truth and embodying what Parker Palmer calls

“a fidelity to the best potentials of the human spirit”.

Fidelity has such a musical, energetic quality, such a sense of tuning into the wondrous sensations of what the soul, through our Anam Cara, holds in store for us.

When we are willing to be in the moment and realize that we are, even in the extreme discomfort of challenging circumstances, fully @Choice.

Granted, life can at any moment send just about anything our way. That we are at best, a navigator and, to continue writing our experience, we must be grand interpreters to open wide and bring in all life offers us. We so often forget that we are written into the great Shakespearean playing out of life.

What a most incredible ride, that we can indeed be @Choice and have a sense of authority, without having any degree of control. Not an easy consciousness to embody and hold steady, where there is so much distracting surface noise and agitation.

Love is our softening agent, allowing is to be @Choice and free to accept life and constantly navigate to stay in the dynamic flow of the unknown.