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HONEYMOONED WITH OTHERS

Writing from Floyd, Virginia
Cultural Evolution 2010 Summer Camp to begin this Friday evening

(C) 2010 Howard McQueen

I am exploring intimacy with my partner Emory,
now having experienced what is a
two hundred day honeymoon with her.

Just like one, two can settle into routines,
sometimes ruts that constrain our vision,
our potential to connect to the vitality of Wholeness.

We are exploring social intimacy with others,
to put ourselves on the edge
to risk the discomforts of myriad social inter-courses,
and penetrate the shared discomforts covering over intimacy.

Intentional community is a way of living and learning to love,
to establish a commitment to being with others
through thick and thin.
It is a honeymoon with we-ness
social experimentation
an evolution in culture
an invitation to hold hands
and, with hands-on implementation,
enter process to become increasingly transparent
with whatever is bubbling up in our respective operating systems.

Cultural evolution is best done with strong and effective cultural and personal change facilitation. There are many exercises and tools that are available to assist individuals and groups navigate into the field(s) of group intimacy.

Many blessings to all of you engaged with personal growth and navigating the rapids and rewards of living and loving an extended community of our fellow human beings. We recently attended the 2010 Intentional Community's Conference, held at Twin Oaks (just outside Charlottesville, Va.).

I would be interested in hearing from you about any communities and experiences you have participated (or plan to participate in).

Howard
Howard@mcq.com







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WORDS ARE WINDOWS (or They're Walls)

An opening Poem from "NonViolent Communication,
By Marshall Rosenberg

This poem written by Ruth Bebermeyer

I feel so sentenced by your words,
I feel so judged and sent away,
Before I go I've got to know,
Is that what you mean to say?

Before I rise to my defense,
Before I speak in hurt or fear,
Before I build that wall of words,
Tell me, did I really hear?

Words are windows, or they're walls,
They sentence us, or set us free.
When I speak and when I hear,
Let the love light shine through me.

There are things I need to say,
That that mean so much to me,
If my words don't make me clear,
Will you help me to be free?

If I seemed to put you down,
If you felt I didn't care,
Try to listen through my words,
To the feelings that we share.

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The New Paradigm

The Divine is all around us, in us, and has always been Here, Now. It is not an energy or a mechanism. It is the Source of energy and mechanisms. We are in a new paradigm where there is no longer a master high above on a stage with the "students" sitting below wondering how many lifetimes until they become perfectly enlightened.

The new paradigm is friend-to-friend. The divine joke is that the unsatisfied ego condition wants to be "enlightened" because ego assumes it will then be satisfied and live a perfect life story. But in order to be Awake as the Impersonal Self, the separate egoic identity must take a seat in the back of the bus. The more ego stays back out of the forefront, and the farther back it sits in the bus, the deeper the Wakeness is at the forefront, allowing the bus to be driven "on it's own", and real happiness shines through the mortal coil the ego used to run.

Master's point to Beingness. That is a worthy role. But I think it is not helpful to put a teacher up on too high a pedestal because it tends to prevent others from claiming the Wakefullness that is their True Nature. Always Here, Now. Let us claim our True Nature Now, by being in this moment, not the past or future. Just Be Here Now. Hum, I notice the body is breathing on it's own. I notice into the belly, feeling sensations. I notice into the bottoms of the feet feeling sensations. I breathe. I rest in the breath, and the Gap inbetween breaths, rather than the mind. I Am Here, Now.
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WHAT FEELS REAL?

Version 2.1 | 8/01/2010
(C) 2010 Howard McQueen

So often, what feels real to us
is manufactured by our inner relationship
with our sense of being overly vulnerable,
waiting to again be violated and victimized.

- Grief is a real emotion
- Rage is real emotion

These and other powerful emotions
and the circumstances that set them up,
create inner friction,
and suffering.

Sometimes the friction works on us like rough sandpaper,
sometimes like a tsunami coming at us,
and sometimes persisting like the brutal and agonizing life sentence of Prometheus.

Were we trained and enabled,
we could paint a psychic portrait
of our relationship with suffering.
This would open us to the stories and passive-aggressive
obsessive behavior patterns guarding and defending personality.

For me, the visual psychic portrait is often that of my child, around age six,
caught in confusion and surprise by the passive-aggressive
undertoe of currents thrust upon him.

Unable, in his youth to integrate these tidal currents, and with the
visceral sense of his world "not feeling safe", he exits the real,
seeking the safety of the mental fantasies and constructs of his mind.

Even today, more than fifty years passed, the deep groove of
assumed safety by-hiding-out-in-his-head can be recognized,
in his language, in his blanched coloring and in the heaviness in which
he carries himself.

The language spoken through the adult body carries the awareness
of the child still, fearfully, stuck in his head. The language lacks
any warmth or heart. It is the talking head, the disembodied mind,
speaking from the defensible (and yes delusional) stage of separation.
The language is all about justifying his position, caving into the
confusion, exiting reality and reactivating the patterns of blame and
shame.

This deeply grooved pattern has its own gravity and is aided by what
E. Tolle relates to as the "pain body". The fully empowered pain body
is indeed an entity to be reckonned with.

This brings forward two (or more) very important, interconnected questions.

1. How are we to consciously navigate and maintain a sense of awareness when the pain body flairs up?
2. When we are under stress, how can we begin to trace and follow where our consciousness goes, to
to try to "manage" the stress?

Mmmmm.

It would seem that our collective challenge is to unclench ourselves from our well-worn pathways that
funnel us into our disturbed and disrupted past, redirecting us out of the present moment.

If we can just begin seeing where we go and what we refer to when under stress, we will ultimately see that
we are really only the victims of our own habits (agreed, highly emotionally charged as they are).

Seeing this still alive trauma within us, without judgment, we can begin to lay down the cynic, the critic,
the judge and the executioner (the one who metes out punishment). We can, ultimately, dismiss the entire courtroom experience.

What would feel real when the inner courtroom is dismissed?

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Spiritual Correctness

I hope you all are doing well and enjoying the Summer heat. Enjoy it while it lasts ;)

I've been sitting on this blog post for a while now. It's created a bottle neck effect on the other ones that want to push through and be shared, so I had to get it off my chest, so to speak.

I have found myself at a bit of a crossroads lately. I’ve written quite a bit on the subject of “enlightenment” over the last few years, much of it representing where I envisioned readers to be on their own path, which has also reflected where I have been on mine. However, I have tried to avoid certain ideas that might turn some people off. As I ran across quotes and insights, each one was instantly judged based on how useful it would be for my projected audience. As time went on, I found myself revising my writing more and more to make the message more palatable for the potential readers in my mind. All of this has become much more noticeable of late, which makes me think I used to be less concerned about how my message was received than I am now.

The Internet has increased the exposure of my writing, and its potential circle of influence and exposure. The potential audience has now diversified and left me a bit uncertain as to who will be reading these words. Will it be spiritual adepts, teachers, critics, or will it be the curious and beginning seekers (which seems to be mainly who I have had in mind when I write)? Is it possible to write something that resonates with everyone? Whose needs am I trying to appeal to anyway?

Up until now, I have had a “known” audience of about 90 people on an email list comprised of friends, family, and acquaintances, plus a blog. So, I have written with many of those people in mind. Now, there are online discussion groups popping up all over for Truth seeking people and those interested in enlightenment. There are a lot of people out there, such as myself, who have a very firm grasp on the ideas surrounding enlightenment. They have it all figured out on an intellectual level, have had a few awakening experiences, and want to tell people how it is. I’m no different, but I am not one to debate another on what’s true and what’s not (at least not openly ;), but that’s what I have seen in some of these online discussion forums.

There are those people drawn to these discussion groups wanting more insights from fellow seekers or teachers. Then there are others who seem to have all the answers, while others who disagree and point out inconsistencies in what someone else has said. Ultimately they are all saying what’s true for them and disagreeing with someone else who doesn’t see things the same way. In many cases it’s a philosophical debate over semantics among egos about Oneness.

After seeing this a couple of times, I decided these groups weren’t for me. Obviously there is no harm in a friendly debate, which is what these tend to be. But if I don’t resonate with what’s being said on a deep level, then it’s just brain candy and fodder for the ego. Having said that, I have benefitted from this ego fodder because it has pointed out my own judgments I have about people, but that’s a different story.

I have found online discussion forums that are a bit more structured, which involve an actual teacher answering questions, that serves members well. A spiritual teacher who is willing to foster and facilitate online discussions is a wonderful thing. Not only is it enlightening, but it prevents endless debates from arising, and actually points readers toward what lies underneath the words.

As for me, there is nothing I can say that is actually true (except for maybe what I just said). However, I am finding myself projecting out my own insecurities, being careful not to say something that an imaginary spiritual critic might take issue with. Basically, my ego is trying to protect itself from criticism by censoring what it says. The increasing tendency to revise is how its desire for praise is manifested. This is very interesting to notice and acknowledge, so I felt compelled to share it.

Of course, this idea filtering has been going on all along, I just happen to be noticing it more and more these days. Much of what I have written has been written with specific people (or types of people) in mind, and my perception of how my message would be received by those people based on my story of them. I have avoided using many terms and phrases that I thought might alienate those with only a mild curiosity, or those who still have firm beliefs. I would prefer to tone it down a bit rather than cause a mind to close down by stepping on a sacred cow (so to speak).

My intention has always been to spark interest in those who have accepted simply being content with life, rather than search for that unadulterated joy that’s at their fingertips. That joy is what we are all searching for, and I want everyone to know that it is attainable at this very moment. This is something that everyone should know.

Now that I am becoming connected with more and more people via Facebook, I am feeling a bit more pressured to watch what I say. There is great potential here to reach hundreds of people with tiny bits of wisdom that might resonate with someone who had no interest in the idea of enlightenment before. I think the key is not to make broad sweeping statements as an authority figure (i.e. “This is how it is.”), but instead scatter ideas or questions that might spark interest.

It’s yet another example of how I have been living my life. I find my actions governed by what I think “so and so” will think about such actions or words. It’s been that way all along and I’m seeing it for what it is more clearly now – protection of the ego. At this point I feel it’s time to be a bit more free with my words, with less concern about how the imagined world perceives them to be. I can learn more about myself by seeing the “me” in “you” anyway ;)

Peace,
Trey

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PLEASE, PLEASE FOR ME

(c) 2010 Howard McQueen

The pleaser in us
also wanting to avoid conflict,
can quickly cover over our authenticity,
call steal our voice to speak clearly,
to clearly and succinctly represent
our own needs and requirements.

The insecure pleaser places the needs of others
ahead of the welfare of the self.
This can undermine vitality, always keeping self
out-of-center.
The pleaser also projects a false sense of self to others,
creating the smoke and mirrors of distortion and confusion.

Living intimately in relationship with others
requires that we develop our own clarity of voice
to explicitly and succinctly state our wants and needs.
This is especially true when we seek to work through the
inauthenticity that will challenge intimacy.

We need only learn to tell ourselves what is true,
even if it seems painful (at the time).
Those who offer a depth of friendship,
a caring and a maturing love
can see through this pleaser camoflage
and encourage us to become true to ourselves.

This is one way to become true to yourself
and learn to project the truth outward to others.

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WHOLENESS THROUGH INTERCONNECTEDNESS

(c) 2010 Howard McQueen

When we find the courage,
the curosity to remain in inquiry
when another has lost
the connection to their core,
we gain a greater wholeness
being present with our greater integrated potential.

We can then rest more comfortably
within our own center,
our inner capacty readied and available,
to be responsive and in the service to what comes our way. .

By weaving this web of human interconnectedness,
we begin to gather together a fullness
and connection to a vastness of Self.


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PERPETUAL DISTRACTION

(c) 2010 Howard McQueen

We are constantly encouraged
to live a life
punctuated by distraction.

Perpetually distracted,
we slip-slide toward a life
devoted to the delusional,
constantly avoiding our discomforts,
constantly empowering our choices,
with preferences that attempt to preserve
a secure sense-of-self.

And, we convince ourselves
that this insular
navigation-via-avoidance
will bring about the vitality
of a life well-lived.

We spin our own webs,
disoriented by this maze of our delusion,
till we realize a life lived in programmed avoidance,
cultivates and perpetuates separation, fear and anxiety,
damping down the flow of life,
stifling the essential cycle of fire - destruction - rebirth,
so essential to our inner growth and evolution.

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THE COVERING OVER OF SADNESS

Version 1.2; July 19, 2010
(C) 2010 Howard McQueen

My anger has again hurt someone I love,
and they have chosen to feel sadness and anger.
Now I cave in again, trying my best to avoid their sadness,
secretly not wanting to know it as my own.

"Please don't let us go to sleep so deeply saddened".

To this plea, I stop avoiding the my partner's sadness,
the same sadness I still carry within.
And as I lean into and meet this sadness,
a connectedness and vitaility returns,
a softness and tenderness is uncovered within,
and the harsh hardness is swept aside.

We store our toxic memories,
and when we are connected in compassion with others,
and stand up to what we fear,
all the medicine we need
to neutralize our toxic baggage
is available,
is readily offered,
through our willingness to
remain
connected,
to keep relationship - flowing.

****
This poem speaks to the ability to self-integrate, to uncover a wholeness by facing that which we have turned away from. In so many ways, for so many years, we have dis-empowered ourselves by perpetuating the fear, caving in to the discomforts we have lodged in our beliefs, in our imagination. We can honor that which we fear by leaning into it and learning, from direct experience, a deeper truth covered over by our fear.
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STRESSING

(C) 2010 Howard McQueen

When we encounter the inner psychological pressure we know as stress,
we are invited to ask the question

What aspect of my self identity is insecure and threatened?

Often, staying with this question will begin to reveal what the self wants so desperately to not accept.

What a wonderful opportunity to see
what is false in us,
what we are covering over,
what we are hiding from.

This inquiry and the encounters that arise are where we can choose
to revise our relationship with life itself,
where we can lay down the futility
held in our inner conflict,
and fuel a new awareness,
a deeper, truer vulnerability,
a deeper presence,
a connected living,
holding ourselves directly in the stream,
our source for truth and freedom.

****

As we bring consistency and continuity to this practice
as a way of living in intimate relationship with all that is,
we find that our inner conflict and separation begins to dissolve
and we can truly listen,
can truly breathe in life
and awaken a presence
free of judgment,
grateful for laying down its self-imposed burdens.

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The Human Tapestry

All of us are born into an already existing human tapestry. The cultural habits, the beliefs, rituals, ways of thinking, etc. This tapestry has existed since the beginning of human history.

This tapestry is woven and held together with language. The nouns; labels for objects and locations. The adjectives, the way in which we describe the tapestry, the verbs, the way in which we move about in this tapestry. This tapestry exists in the domain of language and is everything we think is real. All our thoughts and responses are woven, repeating patterns of this human tapestry, patterns that have existed for thousands of years.

What is not so obvious is that our very identity, the very concept of everything "I am," the very idea of a separate individual self, has also been woven into this human tapestry. All our beliefs, our values, the way we relate with each other, the way we move about our "world," the very way in which we can think, all woven in the fabric of this human tapestry. As soon as we start speaking, we are caught within the fabric of this linguistic human tapestry.

None of us have any choice in this, nor do any of us have any control over this. Everything we think we are, exists only within the fabric of this human tapestry.

Enjoy, Norio
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July, Bill Walz Rapid River Magazine column

At the End of Myself by Bill Walz

Rapid River Magazine July 2010



“I cannot live with myself any longer.” This was the thought that kept repeating itself in my mind. Then, suddenly I became aware of what a peculiar thought it was. “Am I one or two? If I cannot live with myself, there must be two of me: The ‘I’ and the ‘self’ that ‘I’ cannot live with.” “Maybe,” I thought, “only one of them is real.”… My mind stopped… I felt drawn into a vortex of energy… I heard the words “resist nothing.”… Suddenly there was no more fear.
- Eckhart Tolle – Introduction to Power of Now


The discovery that Eckhart Tolle made in a time of deep despair, a time when, in effect, he had reached the end of himself, is an important secret common to all mystical teaching. It is also at the heart of Buddhist psychology. He had entered into and found resolution to the personal and spiritual conflict that is sometimes referred to as “the dark night of the soul,” a term coined by the 16th Century Christian mystic St. John of the Cross to describe his struggle with faith. It is a coming to an end of self as understood and lived from a very limited egocentric perspective, and in that ending, to open into a new light of understanding that bridges the ego-self to the Universe, to all of life, awakening a deeper Self that lives in that connection.

Understand that a life-threatening emotional crisis is not necessary. Any person can decide at any time that there must be more than their anxiety filled life, and choose to open into new possibilities by looking at the life they have been living and deeply examining the “I” and the “self” as Tolle did. What Tolle discovered was that there is a “me” that can reach its end, and there is a “me” that has no end. There is the “me” that is all wrapped up in the beginnings and endings of my material life circumstances, and there is a “me” that is a direct expression of Life, a continuum without beginning and end. It is Life expressing itself through an individual human. It is also the entryway into mystical experience, an often misunderstood and ethereal concept, for it is in actuality, the true expression of the fullest human potential for spiritual and mental health.

Both this limited ego-self me and the mystical me-as-the-Universe-expressing-itself exist, and every human experiences both of these dimensions, although few recognize the mystical experience as their very essence, and fewer still consciously explore this ego-transcendent dimension. For the vast majority, they stay wrapped up in the certainty of their circumstantial material experience as the full extent of who they are. These seeming contradictory expressions of self are the essential paradox of human existence, which if unraveled, leads to a true liberation, to where there is no fear.

Anything that can end must also have a beginning, and so it is with this “me” that can reach its end, because this “me,” in addition to being a biological form that has its beginning and end, is also a story begun in each person’s infancy and rewritten and refined throughout a life span. Understand, it is not the biological “me” with its beginning and end that is a problem, not any more than a squirrel’s life is problematic, but rather, it is the “story of me” that we carry in our mind that bedevils and worries us.

It is the story of the socially conditioned “me,” the “me” in the timeline of my life, getting from past to future that causes so much tension, conflict and angst. It is my stories of success and failure, both past and anticipated. It is my stories of humiliation and redemption, of love and hate, of struggle and accomplishment, of gain and loss, of relationship and loneliness. It is the story of my psychological profile, my personal philosophy, and my political and religious identifications. It is my habits, my preferences, my prejudices, my likes and dislikes. It is my fantasies. It is my hopes and fears. It is the story of my addictive behaviors. It is even the story of my spiritual beliefs and journey. It is anything and everything that is in the matrix of thought patterns that fill my mind with who I think I am. And, it is not who I nor anyone is. Not at our essence.

The “story” always contains drama, struggle and strife. For some, there is relatively little struggle, for others it is a living torture chamber. What is true for everyone is that there is an ever-present whip of fear about whether they are enough, whether their story matters, whether who they are is actually the truest and best expression of who they might be. It always feels like there must be more. Again, for some, this may be nothing more than a passing fantasy of little consequence, while for some it is agonizing, and for still others, it is a motivating cause in their life, but for everyone, there is an urge from deep within to realize who they are beyond their limited and anxious story of self. There is a silent whispering to actualize a dimension that has no fear because it is the realized truth of who they are beyond any sense of lack or fear.

It is from this place, as Tolle’s inner voice guided him, that we are able to “resist nothing.” This is sometimes spoken of as the Self beyond the self, the Being that is before and larger than ego, the true “I” that isn’t at odds with anything in the Universe because there is a knowing emanating from this Self of being an integral expression of the Universe unfolding. It is. Nothing more is needed.

The man who was not yet the Buddha came to the end of himself 2500 years ago as he sat under the Bodhi tree in meditation vowing never to rise until he achieved enlightenment. In the moment of his enlightenment, looking at a morning star, he transcended himself and became the morning star, and so the seeking nobleman turned ascetic named Siddhartha Gotama figuratively died, to emerge as the Buddha, The Awakened One. He then rose from his meditation and went on to teach his “Middle Way” and the Noble Truths that said suffering was caused by attachment to this story of self with all its drama, cravings and aversions, causing life to be frustrating and often dissatisfying. He also taught that salvation was available to those who were ready to come to the end of their ego-selves, and in doing so, awaken into the deeper truth of who they were beyond frustration and dissatisfaction.

What is important for us to hold in awareness is that every thought in our minds is really only a story, a representation, and often a distortion of our direct experience-in-the-world, and we live attaching to these story-thoughts as if they were true, as if they represent who we are and what the world is about. This is what the Buddha taught as the delusion that leads to suffering. Each thought arises calling to us to believe in it as the truth, but it is only a story that arises and passes away. These thoughts are often at odds with each other, and certainly at odds with the thoughts of others, and conflict and confusion inevitably result. These thoughts are not who we are.

The lesson that leads to liberation, that leads to the discovery of who we truly are, is what happens when we are willing to let the thoughts, the stories and their drama end, when we are willing to come to the end of ourselves to discover our true Self in the quiet space that lingers after the thought-stories end. In that quiet space, where the ego-self ends, there is a purity of awareness like a mirror that reflects what is in front of it without reacting to the contents of the reflection, that can see clearly, that is completely within the unfolding of the moment, just as it is. It needs nothing. It fears nothing for it is our essential Self, and essence cannot be reduced or threatened.

We don’t have to achieve complete enlightenment as the Buddha did. That’s just another story. A moment where you stop all your stories, release your addiction to drama, where you come to the end of yourself, either by circumstance or by conscious choice, and fully experience the still quiet space where you and the Universe meet is enough. This end is the beginning, when the moment just as it is, is enough, and we find ourselves embedded within the moment, not some separate spectator or victim of it. It will start you on the path to the Self that knows how to resist nothing and live without fear. As you learn to linger there, tasting and learning the truth of who you are - at the end of yourself - you will find life, your life, sparkling like a diamond.

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ANYTHING CAN SERVE AS YOUR BODHI [1] TREE

(C) 2010 Howard McQueen

Emory (my wife and partner) are now into our eighth week of intensive scrabble play.
As a result, I have relearned how any activity, if incorporated into our inner work,
can be used as our own personal bohdi tree.

For the first few weeks, Emory won about two-thirds of the games, and I had
seemingly adjusted to this slightly inequitable state of outcomes (;-) .

And then came a batch of a dozen or more losses, the last several being huge
one hundred plus point routes, where I was dropped into the doldrums of
selecting single point letters that could not make much more than four letter
words (;-) .

A sense of growing injustice was building and after a late evening particularly
brilliant (and an eighty point) play, I erupted up from my seat and dashed into the
bathroom, mumbling that I might never play this game again. While in the bathroom,
I doused my face with cold water, I was feeling so on fire.

As I calmed down and began to again breathe normally (I have no idea how long
my breathing had slowed and become so shallow), I connected to a childhood
memory

My mom, dad and I (I was ~ eight) are playing Monopoly. I have acquired the high
rent property (blue) just before the GO space and my dad has just landed on one of
my properties, which has been enhanced with hotels. I laugh out loud at his
misfortune, and then, to my surprise, he is angrily standing over the board and
sweeps his arm over the board, knocking the board and all the pieces all over the
floor. Without a word, he walks away and just exits.

It is in this remembering that I now see myself one impulse away from reacting the
same way. In the moment of the eruption, Emory reports that she feels a sense of "not feeling safe" and,
as part of our practice, we both hold the space for what I have manifested.

As I pull upon some reserve resolve to finish this game, I almost close the gap,
making up over one hundred points I was in deficit. We both agree to start
another game and I win this game and the next three over the next two days before the
flow switches back to Emory.

We have now played another several weeks of scrabble since that eruption. Sometimes
you are the bug and sometimes you are the windshield. Any activity practiced with awareness can
conect us to our disintegrated imprintings - these things that empower our sufferings.

As we need do is lean into these energetically charged scenarios, feel them,
and realize we no longer need be captivated by the situations and stories of our past.

When we are persistent and rigorous in whatever activity (lovemaking, business, raising a family …)
offers itself as our bodhi tree, we are offered the invitation to see and pierce through our demons.

The tree with heart shaped leaves that Siddhartha sat under and achieved enlightenment.

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Resisting Evil?

In Stephen Mitchell's forward of his fine translation of the Tao Te Ching

"The teachings of the Tao Te Ching is moral in the deepest sense. Unencumbered by any concept of sin, the Master doesn't see evil as a force to resist, but simply as an opaqueness, a state of self-absorption which is in disharmony with the universal process, so that, as with a dirty window, the light can't shine through. This freedom from moral categories allows him/her the great compassion for the wicked and the selfish."

From the translations:

Thus the Master is available to all people
and doesn't reject anyone.
He (she) is ready to use all situations
and doesn't waste anything.
This is called embodying the light.

What is a good man but a bad man's teacher?
What is a bad man but a good man's job?
If you don't understand this, you will get lost,
however intelligent you are.
It is the great secret.

- Howard
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The Evolution of the Human Brain

The way in which the current human brain operates, is from the underlying position of a "separate me." Along with the underlying separate self identity, there comes with it an underlying fear of its vulnerability, the fear of death, or ultimately, the fear of non-existence. In a nutshell, our current way of using our brain is based on fear.

Look upon our world today, with the tragedy and misery all over the globe. The oil that keeps gushing into our seas. This is the inevitable world of the separate self. The world out there is a direct result of the way in which we humans today think, the very way in which we humans use our brain.

When we as a species become awareness of this "me" as being an illusion, there results a transformation of the very way in which the human brain operates. It no longer operates from a place of right and wrong, good and bad, of anything missing. It is whole and complete in every moment. Fear no longer exists. Instead of operating from a place of its own vulnerability, it now operates from a place of unconditional love.

After seeing the movie "Avatar" with my son, I remarked: "The humanoids living on Pandora think the way we humans currently think and therefore will end up destroying their home too." My son laughed and said, "yes, but who would be able to relate to the movie if they didn't think the way we do?" Regardless, I did enjoy the movie.

Enjoy!
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I just read this for the first time, and I love it! "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."

This statement implies the power of language (the word) as a creative tool, That time (In the beginning) is also created with language, and the best part of all, Word was God means that Language = God!

Pretty neat stuff!

We do not realize we're born into this already existing languaging, which I like to call the human tapestry, with its labels and heirarchies. This includes the already existing languaging of a separate self identity.

Not recognizing this, we're now prisoners of language. This human tapestry is now a prison from which there is no escape, since that is where everyhting that we've been convinced of as "me" exists.
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SHAPING OUR ODYSSEY

© 2010 Howard McQueen


What do you constantly lend your attention and awareness to?

Knowing this will help you to see what you cultivate, what you worship,

the shaping of your life,

this odyssey of experience.


As of late, I’ve been checking the stock market about three times a day. I’ve also, at least daily, been entering our household expenses into this ever-expanding spreadsheet of
now thirty plus columns.


The stocks I own are down.


The household budget for June completely blown due to some expected and also some unexpected extraordinary expenses.


I’ve recently been worshiping in the fields of scarcity.

I’ve been cultivating the fruit that siphons off energy,

a worship that denies hope and renewal,

that opposes the natural abundance of life itself.


And, even though I fly the banner of perpetual sabbatical,

I have been sailing my ship into troubled seas.


My captain, my captain, we have run aground.

What’s this, an absence of awareness

A forgetfulness to course-correct?


We’ve become lost again in the fog of our own fears,

sailing again back into the Sea of Scarcity.


It is such an amazing odyssey,

This energetic field of life we are immersed in.

Having no real control over so many outcomes,

And with the remembered ability to find and practice gratitude and acceptance,

we remember the true sacredness of this gift of awakening,

this raucous wild abandonment and pleasure

and the revisiting of old discomforts and pains.


All this not knowing

how things will unfold.


And yet things unfold,

without the need for any real efforting from us.



Read more…

DISCERNING THE REAL FROM THE IMAGINED

© 2010 Howard McQueen


One of the challenges

we (each and all) face

is discerning and separating

that which is real,

from that which we imagine.


May you find within,

again and again,

the ability to learn and apply

the wisdom and guidance

liberated by discernment.


To know when it is wise to be tolerant of yourself and others

and when tolerance is to be set aside,

and a firmness of backbone

placed in your stride

as you move toward,

literally lean into and call forth your compassion,

to be more fully present with your own discomfort

and the discomforts of others.


May the gifts you unwrap from this life lived

be to see all the inbreeding falseness

in the painful beliefs

me,

you,

our brothers

and our sisters

still cling to

so closely,

so tightly

within.


****
One method to approach discernment is to realize that the words we each choose to birth and bring forth into this world either create a movement towards separation or a movement towards unity and wholeness. When separation is manifest, it is our most explicit means for then inquiring inwardly and discovering those beliefs that feed on our own fear, that breed the need for commanding and controlling whatever it is we are imagining.

- HM
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MID LIFE CRISIS

Version 1.1 | 6.22.10
(C) 2010 Howard McQueen

Yes,
finally,
a knowing that
the time has come
to repack your bags.

You are finally tuning
into the callings of your Anam Cara [1]

You are receiving the invitation of your divine self to:

- Inventory everything you've been carrying along in this life and do the work of discarding what does not serve you.
- Lighten up and loosen up for the remainder of this particular sacred journey

Perhaps it is finally time to make plans for some special visit.
Perhaps an introductory week at Damonhur [2], or some such other place deeply engaged in working with light and love and possibilities.

Yes, you've received the memo that time is short to reconnect, open up and be present with this great experiment in consciousness!

I am certain we are drinking from the same well. Perhaps this is all much more than just a chance encounter.


[2] aka The intentional community; http://www.damanhur.org/

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LOVE'S BEWILDERMENT

From "Rumi, the Book of Love"
Translations and commentary by Coleman Barks

In complete Control, pretending control,
with dignified authority, we are charlatans.
Or maybe just a goat's-hair brush in a painter's hand.
We have no idea what we are.


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