(C) 2009 Howard McQueenTo label yourself, or anyone broken,or permanently damaged goods,is to subscribe to the notionthat a yet to be completed,rare piece of living artis something other than Creation's utterlymagnificent work-in-process.Human-ness, the eternally malleableand grand expressiveness of clay [1]constantly being shaped and animatedthrough the invisible handsof the grand force of life.Bent, wizzened, scarred and weathered - yes.And such stories from those who have faced the difficult quests,the heartbreaking aspects of our journeyinginto the Mystery,riddled with the fear and need for control by the human mind,contained and sustained by eternal spirit,clothed temporarily,in the clay of human flesh.[1] A nod of appreciation to the author of such beauty, John O'Donohue for the human clay theme.
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(C) 2009 Howard McQueenVery few things in the external worldreally need tending to.So much motion and commotionand momentum already underway.When you let your inner selfreally wind down,old habits and their effortingstend to drop away.And people connected to these effortingsdrift along and on their own way.What is left in the quietude and silence,are the raw materials and environmentfor new beginnings: transformation,reinvention,this time undertaken from the inside-out,not manufacturing to please or fix the outside."My business is not being in anyone else's business" [1]My business is tethered to transforming my own space inside,built in relationship to unconditional lovethe fabric and feeling of welcoming Self home.Then, radiating this feeling and vibration outward,a signal of connection to that which is eternal.I remember, but can no longer find or resolve,that which was once the frightened, separate "me".*** ... ~~~ ~ .We become so undone, so unraveled from our mischief that we stop all doings and rest in our being.[1] a nod of appreciation to Byron Katie for this notion
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The complete mystery and miracle of it all.(C) 2009 Howard McQueenI AM the indwelling being.To meet you is to meet me,the same One,everything alive,radiating and reflectingthe indwelling being-ness.Being-ness has chosen again to awaken,to take up a temporary home,to assume perspective in organicform and function,flesh and bone.There is no why,there is but privilege,opportunity,wonderawe,universal, eternal being-ness,inhabiting and animating form.Imagine the breath-taking freedomto be in form (informed) andutter the wordsI AMResurrected spirit flows into life, and back out, again!The complete mystery and miracle of it all!!Who else desires to celebratethe sacred opportunityto once againdance the eternal dance,abandoning all whysjettisoning all pride and things personal,this dance we call"collapsing the great divide!"Respond here or via howard@mcq.com. Please indicate if you desire the conversation to be held in anonymity.
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(c) 2009 Howard McQueenThe dynamic acceptanceof being responsible with the grand giftthe eternal journey,immersed and connected with LIFE.Ever so gentlyguiding our tiller,ever so deftly,navigating and course-correcting,remaining in our center,witnessing all that ebbs and flows.Sometimes a torrent,that the ego wants to label torment,sometimes a trickle,that the ego wants to label way too little,this namelesssacred,infinitely sparkling,eternal,living and life givingenergetic river,the gift of experiencing livingon the infinite, eternally flowing Tao.
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(C) 2009 Howard McQueenTo stop believing and practicingthe falsenessis one thing.To also not be in oppositionto the falsenessis a greater thing.True peace does not give birth to revolution.Revolution keeps us from stepping off the ever-turning Wheel.Still on the Wheel,revolving around the stuck,repetitious pattern,we continue to manufacture delusion for ourselves,believing we've magically swept aggression away, for good.True peace is the incubator and nourisher of evolution.The mind and heart, freed of opposition,can bring crystal clarity ofpurpose and intent to new beginnings,unencumbered and completely untetheredfrom past bondages.Where in your life are you deserving of peace and the gift of living freely and in freedom?***Always open to listening to your personal situation and life condition, and will maintain anonymity if so desired: howard@mcq.com~~~__**__~~~
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It's as simple as being here in the now. Period. Not flashy, necessarily, yet oh so sweet and satisfying. So satisfying nothing else is wanted, or needed. We often want "higher states" to be this simple Presence. Sorry, there is no such thing as permanent higher states where lotus blossoms bloom where you have walked, the angels bow, and milk & honey is always available for your bowl of cherries. Just Be Still. Be in the moment, as it is,wanting nothing different from what is here now.
When PapaJi met Ramana Maharshi, he bragged that he could materialize the Hindu God Krishna, and play with him. Ramana asked, "is Krishna here now"? PapaJi said "no". Ramana said: "That which comes and goes is not Real. Look for that which does not come and go". THAT is the prize. This simple awareness that has always been here, been here through happiness and sadness, through high and low. Unchanging. Our True Nature.
It is our egoic identity that wants things as they are not, that wants things the way it thinks they should, or will, be. Accept and embrace what is here now. It may take some back and forth burning, but if you love This enough, you will always come back when you have strayed in mind identification. Always come back home.
Just Being Here Now, in the present moment, is God aware of Itself in your earthly human body.
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This posting clipped from the very beautiful publication Heron DanceCielo Myczack was another person whom I interviewed and who shaped the publication. Cielo and her husband, Leaf, founded the RiverKeepers, a group of environmental and wilderness protection activists in Tennessee. Cielo talked of the spiritual challenges of a life of activism:By becoming Riverkeepers, we turned our anger into a flow of creativity. It is something I have to practice every day—to let go into Love. Let go, let go, let go. It appears black, it appears violent, it appears tortured—but I know there is a bigger picture that I, with my small eyes, can’t see. Then comes the trust.When you come from ego, and are goal-orientated, you sabotage yourself. So many miracles happen at the level of paradox. When I start walking around thinking that I am making a difference out here—thinking that I am going to heal the Earth—then I am in for burnout. That is the wrong path. We are out here to create new paradigms, and it starts by recognizing that we don’t make a difference. We have to get out of our own way. That is how I do it—by realizing that I am not going to heal the planet, I am not going to save anyone. When I get off the grandstand, when I finally melt into the All, I look around and notice that stuff is already happening. But I have to humble myself before those things that are greater than self will occur.Who am I to say how the Earth should look? I trust that there is a bigger picture, a larger or Greater Good that I may not be totally aware of. I don’t have the answers; Something bigger has the answers. All I can go with is my personal truth, my integrity, and my intuition. Try to tap every day into that higher voice that I hear and trust—that is more than enough. I feel good when coming from that place, because if I don’t, I get lost in the darkness and the despair. You cannot know what the outcome is supposed to be. We cannot be goal-oriented. We have to believe that if we do the best we can, and practice harmony with each other and with the Earth, that Something larger will be served, though we may not see it. We may not see it.Preaching to the choir is very important. You deal with the people that are ready to listen. I don’t go toe-to-toe with loggers, especially as a woman. I don’t choose to go toe-to-toe. I don’t choose force. If someone challenges what I say, I state my truth as I continue to breathe deeply and stay as balanced as I can. I try to state my truth, then let it be. If they need to act with anger and discourtesy, and they do quite often, that shows the truth. The truth is most apparent by the way you state your truth. (October 1995)
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Posted by Howard McQueen on December 14, 2009 at 10:00am
(c) 2009 Howard McQueenThe Gap,chasm,dense smog,imprisoning walls.Our beliefs ensnare us,close us down,short-circuit the forces of lifeflowing to and, when we are believing ourselves impeded,cutoff, separate and alone,urgently manufacturing from our isolated, marginalized energetic footprintmore and more illusions to sustain our sentence of severance from All.This is the great, inherited disease of building our lives upon unquestioned beliefs.These beliefs have become comfortable to the mind,and we can find almost complete agreement among others of our kind,so we just keep up the illusionand keep suffering in our contrived,agreed-upon alienation, separation and confusion.
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(C) 2009 Howard McQueenSo many powerful, ancient, external influences of nature:hurricanes, lightning, tornadoes, earthquakes ...Six.five billion humans and their defense and politically-charged institutions,along with the exploitative globally-based corporations,meddling and manipulating, stepping across boundaries, mucking all around.So many indwelling influences running around within:animal drives, desires and longings of the body-mind-emotions,the incredible abstracting qualities of the mind,offering such allures to step out and escape.So many aspects of self to honor,to shepherd and guide into a peaceful equilibrium.To be present, watching and witnessing all these energetic forces inter-play (enter play),to be the overseer of our worldly experience,not in reaction to ...in the repose of responsiveness,right action in the moment,in the service of evolution of life itself.So fully embedded in life, that life uses us as it sees fit.All we need "do" is stop our believing and behavingas if we are separate from life.This is called letting go, surrendering self, allowing Life to flow through you, me, we,unimpeded, unresisted Oneness.
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(c) 2009 Howard McQueenLife is accelerating,picking up the pace,softening us,swallowing us,digesting us - completely.This is making us a bunch of Yummies,silly foolish,digestive enzymes.If we become really silent and listen in closely, we willhear these enzymatic Troubadoursgaily singing the Yummies-in-the-tummy, chorale refrain:"Oh my goshin,we be sloshin'and dancin'and singin'with all our heartin the great big,divine,alchemicaltummy of Onenessinclusively designed for lovin',connectin' to and digesting,all that is livin'! "
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Posted by Howard McQueen on December 12, 2009 at 11:36am
(C) 2009 Howard McQueenWhen we say we are looking, searching for meaning in life,this usually means we are attempting to judge or compareto decide- do I present myself in a way that lures someone/something my way- do I shrink myself so someone/something will fail to take notice- do I inflate my anger to ward someone/something away- do I [insert your own custom ego-centric strategy here ...]Peace begins to arrive on the scenewhen we stop our manufacturing of add-ons to experience,when we stop trying to find any judgment or comparisonand just accept the uncontrollable flowof the external domain of life.
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(C) 2009 Howard McQueenIf you are seeking,looking to find,If you are asking,expecting to receive an answer,what you will encounterare various pointersleading back insideyourself.The world is this perfectly polishedneutral, reflective mirror.If you feel lacking, incomplete,this will be your experience with the external world.You will experience a polar mix of abundance and scarcity.If you give love in abundanceto yourself and your worldthis will be your experience as well.That which is operating deepest in your subconsciouswill ultimately be reflected back to you.What a perfect way for all of Lifeto be in cahoots (collusion),always revealing your depth-of-selfto enable you to take over,sober up,wake up,and become the witnessing presence.
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(C) 2009 Howard McQueenTry really listening to your mind.Meditation suggests that you notice the contents, then return.But for now, try really listening.Pick a theme that the mind is obsessing over.Grab a pen and paper.Let the mind be represented on paper as"me is feeling ..." and/or "this ... is happening to me"Don't use the "I am feeling ...".Stick with the more juvenile "me is feeling ..."Now, really allow this voice complete editorial freedom,as in you would not dare to reveal this level of inner imbalanceor turmoil to anyone else.Let 'er flow, really flowembrace the pettiness, anger, grief, hurt, the unfairness,the "how could this Fking be happening to me".Just get it all down on paper.Like a seismic readingyou now have an explicit readingan inscribed voice,coming from your emotionally stuntedinner child self.The message (your transcript),more or less represents that which you have yet to embraceand give yourself the gift of unconditional love.At first glancethis voice may appear to bementally and emotionally illSpot-0n.First step is always seeing things clearly.Is there any good news?Yes, for sure.You have all the inner tools and capacityto sweep up all this scurrying about energetic mischief (and more).At fifty-six years of age,I began inscribing my own illness.It erupted in raw vile anger and rage at a spiritual teacher in the Fall shortly after my 57th birthday.Forty eight hours later, I real eyes'ed that I was reacting to an echo in my past.It was the childhood fear of being annihilated by my dad.Within one yearand with a bit of periodic group work,I had faced this fear of annihilationand spun down much of the supportive, empowering infrastructure.Today, I am sitting in relative peace(alright, the closer truth is downright paradise),writing this blog entry,very sober, drug-free and connected to my child self.Today I started Session No 10 of the Presence Process.Blessings to you. May we meet in the middle of our divine collective presence.The Presence Process, a book by Michael Brown
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(C) 2009 Howard McQueenWe're holding on to volumes,vast stores of evidenceused to shore up our identity asThe Victim -- ta da (drum roll, role the cameras) ... !We may even have our evidence in official writing:so and so court or magistrate decrees "..."Victims, like any role, must be constantly sustained,otherwise, anything left alone and unfed,withers on the vine.Playing the character role of Victimrelies upon force of habitand the infrastructure,constructed ofthe old cement of fearand the accomplices ofinjustice and rageanddeep sense of loss and grief.This is the fuel, the energy source feeding our Victim-hood!For a sneak peek under the hood,try listening closely to all the words you speak.Be aware of how you self-depreciate,how the victim-hood snacks on you,steals your vitality.At some point in time,you will have had enough of this deceitful,depreciating habit.The child-self in youis still walking on egg-shells,anticipating an incoming artillery barrage,caught in the fertile field of land mines,waiting, any moment, for all hell to break loose,like it used to.Take off the flack jacket,the helmetand become naked,completely vulnerable.Become alive again.Risk your fragility.Try on the psychology of risking it all,before your curtain call.Breaking ingrained habits requires letting go, surrendering to them, laying down the resistance.Imagine your flow and connection to your authenticity when you harvest and redirect all this diffused energy.
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That we have to earnor qualifyor please anotheror look outside ourselvesto receive the experience ofUNCONDITIONALLOVEisoneofthegreat, ancientfalse beliefsshadowingand haunting thehuman MINDandconstricting thehuman HEART.This particular infrastructure belief is the mother of countless false subordinate, orphaning beliefs. Cleansing, neutralizing, releasing and replacing this belief sets the dominoes in motion, allowing the universal truth, the native state of Love and oneness with all to shine through all of us.We are all designed and destined to learn that we can give ourselves the unconditional love that we've been seeking outside ourselves. We start from within, backfilling unconditional love, then just radiate out into our world, no matter what external appearances, behaviors or life situations are presented (or have in our past been presented) to us. We thus decouple (and at the same time integrate) our authentic self from (with) the frightened ego and ride on the ocean of love we are born to occupy. Vastness of freedom and deep well-spring of joy are phrases that only hint and point to uncovering our potential.
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May we livein rapturefully digestingandassimilatingthe multi-dimensional nutrition infusionsof our experiences of Oneness.May we connectto the grand-scale Mystery.May we experienceand not waste our breath explainingour experiencing the Divineto the Divine.Why keep tripping over inadequate word constructsand recalling the ancient separation influenza,when we can silently and directly share theuniversal, inclusive, joyous direct experiencesof knowing felt Oneness.~~~ ;-) ...
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