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Doing My Best Sailing My Ship

Posted by Howard McQueen on February 9, 2010 at 8:00am

I'm doing my best

returning again and again to a balance point

of choice and choosing,

constantly in reassess - ment.

Caressing and honoring

the many things unfolding,

seemingly in competition,

carrying the seeds of conflict.

I'm @CHOICE, seemingly in the center,

seeing potential storms within.

course correcting old ingrained habits,

honoring peace, holding the signal of harmony.

Whole new vistas open up for celebration.

Re-envisioning with the eyes of compassion.

Deeper heart energies arise, entering this world

and we relax deeper into ourselves.

Bless this heart space,

where spirit dwells and swells.

Here there is abundant outpouring

directed by the divine heart.

A Dream Come True

Posted by Trey Carland on February 6, 2010 at 11:57pm

Here is something I invite you to ponder.

What if this moment was what you had been hoping and praying for all of your life? No matter what you are doing, whether it be taxes or walking the dog or looking at a computer screen, imagine what it would be like if this was your dream come true. Don’t get hung up on the skeptical thoughts, just feel what it feels like to have your hopes and prayers finally be answered. What does that feel like? Experience it fully and deeply – This is it! I finally made it! It’s what I have always needed! Allow yourself to smile :-)

Pause to feel it........

I suggest you do this periodically throughout the day. When you are feeling a bit bored or frustrated, stop and imagine that you have finally achieved your life’s purpose. Sit with the feeling for a minute – This negative situation is actually what I have always wanted, but I decided to call it negative for some reason. This situation is the perfection I’ve been seeking all of my life. My life is now completely fulfilled.

Notice how the mind says, “Yes, but I don’t want this. This is a lie.” It may think what you’re experiencing is painful, or wrong, or mundane, but what if your mind is actually what’s wrong? See what happens if you ignore your doubts and concentrate on the feeling of, “Yes! This is what I have always wanted! My whole life has led up to this incredible moment!” Remember to smile and breath a sigh of relief. Laugh if you feel like it :-D

Pause to feel it........

That feeling you feel of fulfillment and joy and peace is actually available to you at anytime. What brings it about is not the situation, but the acceptance of the situation as being the necessary unraveling of your life situation. This peace sets in when you finally give up your desire to be at peace. You are always at peace, but you’re too busy searching for it to notice.

When the seeking subsides, peace and joy can finally shine through. This is actually your true nature, and you can experience it every moment of everyday if you are open to it. All you have to do is realize that all of your dreams have come true. As you do this more and more, the gratitude that comes from that realization will begin to creep into your daily routine because it wants to be free. It wants you to notice. It wants you to realize the joy that you already are, and have always been.

In gratitude,
Trey

ENGAGED LOVE

Posted by Howard McQueen on February 6, 2010 at 12:00pm

Once in time, two were separate.

The ache was great,

for each had sought the desert

to prepare and purify their hearts

for the rebirth of a far broader and deeper love.

This love, they baked in the furnace,

held in incubation,

in the crucible,

the clay oven of heartfeltness.

In this formlessness, the holy spirit enters,

gives nourishment,

inscribes instruction to blossom and encompass all,

to weave, thread and penetrate

and impart a viral, radical radiating signal

that love has arrived,

come home to nest.

On this day sixteen

that which is masculine collapses its separation

with the feminine

and a bolder spirit takes form

and is born.

This new spirit is fueled through divine heart,

its languaging is a musing and communion

with the metaverse.

It can be seen visibly, as two children holding hands,

lighting up the world with their heartfelt play.

On this day, we two children of the metaverse,

unite and profess,

yea we unabashedly confess,

Aye, we invoke and proclaim

our radiant partnership,

our collusion,

our collodial supersaturated suspension,

our exponential covalent bonding.

Our love has found and established its nest,

where love will roost, flower, flourish,

freely flowing and nourishing

all we encounter on our inclusive journeying.

The circle, the ring-bearing,

Finding the magic keys,

Invoking and experiencing collective freedoms

Speaking the sacred blessings,

spreading belongings,

connecting,

tripping all safeties

for opening to the heart divine.

I profess my love and desire to cherish thee,

I assertively meet you beyond all half-ways,

with a wholeness arising from the heart.

We bring the transformed energy of storm,

the high-tides of past torment,

the anguish of prior partners who pulled away.

All these energies we forge and redirect,

To gently place into the service of love,

to bathe the many shores,

to hold the space for love to rest and nest

and transform us into we,

as we conger and manifest

the many gifts held in embrace,

nurtured in accepting all the gifts,

scrapes and scorn
contained

and exchanged

in this wildly abundant Oneness.

On this day, February third, two thousand and ten, Howard McQueen and Emory Cortese do hereby proclaim their engagement, after sixteen days of giving, receiving
and sharing love aboard the sailing boat Manta, owned
by the most generous of benefactors, gifting us his
air conditioned love nest and our honeymoon, we honor
the name and living spirit of Sir Ron Lively and the love-felt
blessings of his lady, Katy.

All this we honor and overflow aboard the first of many
Heart Centered Oasis, this floating ship holding the Oneness,
tethered to Dock A, Independent Boatyards, Red Hook,
St. Thomas, USVI.

Kindness As Religion

Posted by Bill Walz on February 5, 2010 at 11:04am

Kindness as Religion by Bill Walz

Rapid River Magazine February 2010

“My religion is kindness.” - The Dalai Lama

Growing up, as a Christian, my great confusion concerning religion was simply that I could not find enough kindness in it. I understood fully the instructions of Jesus to love your neighbor, to forgive, to do for the least among us, to practice tolerance. In my childish understanding, this is what religion was supposed to be. What I could not find was much evidence of these teachings in the practice of religions. I know that many others have experienced the same confusion and disillusionment.

My disillusionment led to a rejection of religion and all things spiritual, but this left what is sometimes referred to as a “God shaped hole” in my life; as I speculate, it does for others. Without a spiritual understanding at the center of a person’s life, something elemental is missing. St. Augustine spoke of this archetypal need, describing it as, “Humanity’s innate desire for the infinite.”

In the 1600’s, the philosopher Pascal also described this fundamental human requirement in this way: “What else does this craving, and this helplessness, proclaim but that there was once in man a true happiness, of which all that now remains is the empty print and trace? This he tries in vain to fill with everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are, though none can help, since this infinite abyss can be filled only with an infinite and immutable object; in other words by God himself.”

What is this “infinite” that humanity seeks, this “God?” These are questions humanity has struggled with since emerging from caves, and it is perhaps humanity’s greatest dilemma and challenge. The human species’ entire orientation to life, society and Nature is in the balance. Religion has been given the responsibility to answer these questions, but for the most part, sadly, often tragically, has failed the challenge.

Although it can be difficult to see in a world divided into the camps of those where religion is separated from the secular and political, and those that believe in political theocracies, the failure of organized religion to answer these questions is ultimately modern humanity’s greatest crisis. It is this loss of connection to the infinite that has left the majority of modern humanity experiencing an existential “abyss” they attempt to fill with materialism, personal importance, political and/or religious affiliation. That these attempts are failures is evident in the cruelty, competition, exploitation and divisiveness that mark human affairs despite religions’ claims of authenticity and revealed truth.

Religions have failed because, just like individuals and secular societies they attempt to fill that hole with, as Pascal said, “everything around him, seeking in things that are not there the help he cannot find in those that are…” Even our religions seek fulfillment in a kind of materialism, in their dogma and exclusivity that draws hungry souls, hoping to have the hole filled, mistakenly believing that absolute obedience and faith in the instruction and decrees of religion will fill it. But the hole persists, clearly it persists, as evidenced by the lack in the world of the compassion and kindness that Jesus and other fountains of spiritual light taught.

Later in life, I was attracted to Jewish mystical traditions, Native American spirituality and the religious/philosophical/psychological teachings of Zen Buddhism particularly because of its lack of dogma, and because of its refusal to identify with any kind of anthropomorphic God. Rather, it, and generally the other traditions of Buddhism, including the Tibetan led by the Dalai Lama, seemed to emphasize the nature of God to be Nature, the infinite, the mystery to which the answer lies only within the deepest dimension of human consciousness and direct contact with the mystery of life. It emphasized, rather than religious dogma, understanding and transcending the aberration in nature that is human psychology, the human ego, that creates the abyss, the chasm, the sin (in its original etymological meaning as separation from the divine) that leads to suffering.

The teachings of Siddhartha Gotama, the Buddha, recognize human egoic separateness and the compulsion to cling to identity in separateness as the source of human suffering. This identity in separateness, with all its insecurities and attempts to assuage insecurities in attachments to the material and to individual and collective importance, is the hell that humans create. As a curative, these teachings suggest quieting the chattering and insecure egoic dimension of mind through meditation and turning inward to a place of inner silence and stillness beneath the noise and activity of the human mind and the world it has created. This inner stillness and quiet reflects and makes real for us the perfection of the underlying stillness and quiet of the natural world experienced non-dualistically, where there is no inner/outer divide.

The Buddhist teachings on mindfulness instruct us to see the world, as it is, interconnected and wondrous, not as our delusional egoic minds represent it, as separate objects whose only meaning is in their utility. In mindfulness, humanity can discover the infinite, the heaven it seeks. Having touched the infinite within meditation, we are instructed to be available to the infinite that we are within, the Universe, Creation, and so, find our placement, at one with life. One can call it God, but not if such a labeling suggests a force outside ourselves, when life resides within and all around us, all sacred. This realization is not unique to Buddhism, but amongst contemporary religions and spiritual practices, Buddhism perhaps expresses it most readily and most compatibly with modern life.

Through mystical realization and Buddhist meditation and mindfulness, the God-shaped hole can be filled. The chasm of self, lost in the world, can be bridged. Separate worlds of within and without are discovered to be illusions. There is only one infinity. Religious mystics can call it God. Buddha called it Nirvana, the emptiness of material and separate-self obsession that creates human hell.

Through Buddhist teachings and meditation, it is possible to reconnect with and understand more fully, the teachings of Jesus and many of the original source spiritual/religious expressions of humanity. It is possible to understand fully what Jesus was teaching about the Kingdom of Heaven as exactly what I intuited as a child, that it was “at hand,” that it was about the way we lived our lives and connected to each other and to our kin, the animals and all the world. His teaching was about connectedness and not the many levels of separateness and exclusion that institutional religions so often teach. It was about kindness and compassion.

And so, how unlike the declarations of the leaders of the Western and Islamic churches about what is necessary to live a religious life is the Dalai Lama’s statement: “My religion is kindness.” How different the world could be if we held as a religious obligation to treat each other, the animals, the planet, all Creation and ourselves with kindness and compassion, to realize that the infinite is right here, the miracle unfolding every day. Spirituality and psychology and politics can be all one, but not as the theocrats insist, bending religious teaching to egoistic/political prejudice, but rather, dissolving all prejudice in the fire of non-dual realization to construct a world of peace, compassion and kindness.

My childhood intuition was right. Jesus was an avatar, a Zen master, a Bodhisattva, an awakened and compassionate Being, instructing us to “be like the children.” To fill the hole, to connect to the infinite, we must reconnect to all Creation with kindness and wonder in the manner that every uncorrupted small child is naturally capable of. We must love and be kind. Then, the intellect will know what is needed and what to do so that you can discover “The kingdom of Heaven is within you... Seek ye first the kingdom of Heaven and all things will be added unto you.” (John 8:32) Nothing else is needed.

GangaJi Quote 02/04/2010

Posted by Cullen Anderson on February 4, 2010 at 11:44am

GangaJi: "Surrender to yourself as Life It is my intention that we discover what is the same in each of us. It is my intention that that be discovered in a way that nothing can dislodge it. No amount of trouble, no amount of disease, no amount of pain can dislodge this deeper peace, this surrender to yourself as Life. Just take a moment. Life. You don’t have to know anything else. You don’t have to know any metaphysics. You don’t even have to know the words. Just stop for a moment. Life. Whether it’s a good life, a bad life, a successful life, or a failure of a life. Life. Just the wonder of that can obliterate all of the dishonoring of it. In an instant. This instant. I bow to you as myself in That, and I receive you as myself, and meet you as a deeper investigation of That. "

Why Ask Why?

Posted by Trey Carland on January 31, 2010 at 12:23pm

Over the past few years (since around 2006 or so), I have been in an off and on state of mentally describing my discoveries on the topic of enlightenment, or awakening, or self-realization, or whatever word turns you on the most. I have found that as I begin to see through the illusory nature of the world, I begin to mentally talk about it. The mental movement comes from the idea or feeling that “This must be shared,” which is something I’m sure I’ve shared with you before. This compulsion to share can be frustrating if looked as a mental distraction that perpetuates the ego, or it can be seen as a gift in disguise. Something has been driving me, to share these things with everyone I know. Mental notes to describe insights happen anyway, so why not just accept it and share them? They obviously want to be shared. On some level, this sharing has been my life’s purpose for some time now. However, I’m not really the one doing the sharing and they’re not really my words. I am a pawn in the game of life being used to help other pawns realize their true nature. But that’s easy to loose sight of when you are still grappling with ego, and so the story of being the doer continues. Recently it occurred to me that my desire to share insights with others might actually be a veiled form of resistence, or a desire for things to be different from the way they are. My desire would be for “my” words to intensify “your” desire to awaken. “I” desire for “you” to be different from the way “you” are (i.e. more enlightened). However, by doing The Work on this idea it becomes obvious that it’s actually “me” that I want to be different. After all, “you” are a mirror of what’s going on in “me” and are reflecting my own non-acceptance of who I am. From that perspective there seems to be two movements going on – there is the desire for you/me to be different, as well as a compulsion to share things that might make a difference. Which comes first? Is it possible that the compulsion is always happening and that I am imposing the idea that it might be happening out of a desire for change? Or, do I want change so badly that I am driven to pass on pertinent information in hopes of bringing about that change? Are they really separate? Does it matter? Either way Life is living me and this mental dialogue is another way in which the mind likes to do what it does best – analyze the hell out of things. I can spend my time trying to find answers, or I can spend my time trying to find the truth. The truth is that which has no answers. The truth is that which can’t be put into words. It’s the desireless state of full acceptance of what is. It’s unconditional love. What’s going on in our lives is exactly what needs to be going on in our lives. The life situation is an ongoing invitation for us to wake up out of the dream of being trapped inside a body with all of the problems that go with being trapped inside a body. Acceptance, not analysis, is key to self-realization. With the idea in mind that everything happens a reason, there is a natural tendency to look at things that happen and search for specifics as to what it is life is actually trying to tell me. The situation can be looked at under a microscope for traces of answers that will satisfy the mind, or simply accepted as part of the play of life. So, why ask why, when you can ask who am I? Peace, Trey

THE MANUFACTURING OF OUR MEN

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 19, 2010 at 6:00pm

Written on and in celebration of Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthdayJust outside Red Hook, St. Thomas, USVIDraft Version 1.5© 2010 Howard McQueenOUR MEN,society manufactures and churns them out in droves.The production line beginswith the anger and rage of fathersrained down on their male children,a constant barrage of obedience,fealty, patriarchic control,this breeding ground for Spartans,culling and selectingfor stoic conditionings.OUR MEN,their childhood’s innocence,nipped at the bud.Work ethic and productivitytrumping and snuffing out joy and innocence.The glimmer of capacity remaining within,a vicarious projection to allow witness of other's childrenexperiencing innocence and joy,their own hidden away, deeply buried, inaccessible..OUR MEN,often emotionally stunted, blinded by their forfeited adolescence,suspicious of laughter,assuming they have unknowing incriminatedand indicted themselves,feeling the laughtersecretly aimed and targeted at them.OUR MEN,sometimes overly sensitivetouchy about being corrected,advocating they would rather continuemaking and living with the outcomes of their own mistakes,than be corrected,forced to face up,to dredge up,yet againthe brutal domestication of spiritheld in their childhood’s cut-short end.OUR MEN,often disdaining our compassion,having zero tolerance for their own weakness.They push away those bringing offeringsof solace and compassion,to fill their wounded, gaping void.OUR MEN,when gifted with the ethicsof goodness,of gentlemen-nessand fair-play,are generous to a fault.When not triggered in projections,our men give of themselvesas much,if not more,than anyone else.OUR MEN,who have lost their way,unable to connect into their heart,their emotions so numbed-down and distorted,so much of their attention and intention,their devotion, albeit fixation,serving their God of Command and Control.OUR MEN,Inwardly caughtin a constant inabilityto be genuinely at-ease.Even the tasksof preparing to enjoy … ,so often undertakenwith a stress-provokingself-imposing ticking time-bomb timetable.OUR MEN,even after nearly forty yearsaway from honorable military discharge,their informal pre-military careersalready in full force and effectsince the age of four, five or six,the training received then, even more relentless.OUR MEN,their selective domestication of spiritplaying such a prominent role,becoming brittle,defensive,work-a-haulics,throwing themselves into situationsdesigned to keep their hearts at bay,closing down their own innocence, joy and radiance,willing and ready to give CPR to others,not knowing how to practice,or even take the first stepsto revive the innocence in their childhood lost.OUR MEN,having no intuitive sensethat the invitation still existsto open to their hearts,their self-compassion so damped down,so smothered and covered over.OUR MEN,they know nothing about this great letting-goof the God of Command and Control,what they have strived so hard to perfect,they so fearful to release the helm,judged guilty of paramount loss of control.Standing at the edge of their false precipice,releasing into freefall,all the armor and hurtchoking, congesting and insulating their hearts.OUR MEN,they try to slake their spirit thirstby contributing to the safetyand service of others,to serve and protect,to put their lives on the line,r e p e a t e d l y,securing the stormy seasbraving and taming the treacherous airspaces,our homes,our streets,our neighborhoods,are lit with their pride and devotion to our nation.This is how our men have been trained,this seemingly their only channel,their single venueto cultivate worth-of-self and extend their intimacy.OUR MEN,our quiet, cold war and current war humble, often wounded veterans,proud to serve,these Spartans,these defenders of the peaceready to take a bullet or knifeto put it all on the linefor those they love,even for those they will never meet.OUR MEN,they simmer in their stoic dilemma,they project and then push awaythose carrying the gifts to make them whole.they would seem unconsciously caught up,locked in the ultimately meanand perverse Catch-22 machinery.OUR MEN,Inclusive of, Yes,we few men who have made the journeyand reached our heart,know not to take these noble men’s push backsas rejection,criticism,nor do we interpret their behavior as directed abuse.We know first hand of the long lines of perpetuated sufferingour men have suffered quite long enough.We few are ready to lead our Calvary back to home and heart.OUR MEN,held in the already heartfelt embrace,of the feminine (sisters, mothers, grand meres, aunts, lovers and friends)and these few already in-the-heart men,we encircle these warriorsin love's embrace."We dearly love you"our masculine (brothers, fathers, grand peres, uncles, lovers and friends),OUR MEN are our messengersbringing us the messages,enabling us to refine and more deeply shore upour unconditional embrace,this divine, dynamic healing circle,that mends and integrates,the inherited,manufacturedand breddysfunctions,heretofore stymieingand holding backour struggle to evolve the human race.The great opening and unifying of the masculine and the feminine, both contributing wings to the shared heart, cherishing each other, healing the ancient woundedness, resting and nourishing each other in Love’s embrace.… ~~~ . ~ … ~~~I have pulled from a composite of my own experiences as a male and my experiences with numerous male relationships to create this story and blessing

DIVINE UNITY

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 19, 2010 at 5:30pm

Beachside, the Ritz Carlton, outside of Red Hook, USVI© 2010 Howard McQueenWhat is personalitybut a bunch of contrivedloosely strung together programs and habits,designed to perpetuate,prop-up and propel the manufactured “me”.This me, creating and sustaining the illusion,the semblance of exterior continuity and consistency,in support of ever-shifting transient goalswrapping around some vague, pre-packed and misunderstood status quo.Until, that is, the status quo fails to support this me,then everything is subject to radical revisioning.This me, caught up these days of constant reversioning,A new release of me being trotted out seemingly every other day.All this spent energy, in the service of the fictitious,comic-book characterizations of personality!The waves of change crash against our shores,pummeling our ragged, dashed personality, wearing and eroding it away.We resist sorisking and letting go -- the familiar.Spirit essences, seeking comfort and securityincarnate within the built-in functional obsolescence of flesh,these fragile bodies of clay,also eroding away,increasingly so from the self-imposed inner stress, discord and conflict.Let us finally put to rest,accept the many facets,the many forces of a full-throttled life.Let us constantly be reminded to step into the unfolding mystery,while we are gifted with still being in-the-flesh and alive.Let us give of ourselves to a far greater vision and love,than any set of aspects the ever-insecure me will ever cobble together and realize.I give, yea I bequeath, in this and in each moment,all my essence to this life.See me in the forest, the trees, the sandy beaches,the smiles, the winks, the nods - feel my essence in the loving embracein this unbelievable spectacle, dissolved into grace, everywhere, everything,this one divine unity.Jai - god is love, love is god.

IGUANA FOR LUNCH?

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 15, 2010 at 5:18pm

St. Thomas, USVI© 2010 Howard McQueenMy beachside Caribbean waitress and I agreed,my Caesar salad was really quite tasty.We are both staring at my empty plate.I offer “the dog got most of it”.She politely suggests “iguana” asthe more likely culprit,and the moment is again,magicallytransformed,as two enter into the dance of life.May there be magic and mystery lurking,waiting patiently in ambushjust around those bends,corners and curves,approaching, even more quicklyas we each open wider and deeperinto our own respective playgrounds,our paradise on this earth

THE WHIMISAL LINEAGE IN THE NAME ROCINANTE

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 15, 2010 at 5:00pm

Tuesday January 12, 2010St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin IslandsThe sun has recently set,the sky shifting to a steely blue-black,lots of stars now visible straight overhead.Silvery white clouds seemly harvestingthe last glimmering rays of the sun,bringing a friendly Casper-the-ghost blanket effectto the rugged mountains below.I am laying on my back, looking straight up.There are vertical structures,these tall, skinny, limbless spires,straight and symmetrical,so smooth their putty colored enameled surfaces.Everywhere around my limited horizon,these vertical structures pierce the sky.the one closest, as it heads upwards,makes increasing smaller Tstill it ends fifty or more feet above me.There are silvery straight angular lineseach running to the very top of the structures.I am resident on my new home,this thirty-eight foot sailboatin the harbor of the Independent Boat Marina,outside the small town of Red Hook, St. Thomas USVI..It is seven thirty now and the temperature is about seventy-two.Getting off the US Air flight earlier this afternoonIt was eighty-fiveand I immediately headed into the shade.The occasional motorized dinghy glides byimperceptibly breaking the water’s surface.The sky is now completely black.The occasional street light lights up homes up in the hills,Reflecting a zig-zag line of lantern lights seemingly glowingFrom up from some submerged source within the water. .The ever-so-slight ripples on the otherwise glassy surface,Imbue the lantern’s light with a slow motion undulating effect.It is a bit mesmerizing, not unlike the gentle flicker of candle light.I began reading John Steinbeck’s Travels with Charleyon the flight to St. Thomas today.Steinbeck was fifty-eight when he and his dog (Charley)soloed across America in the truck-camper insert.I purchased my camper insert just after my fifty-eighth birthday.Just before leaving Asheville this November,My friend Eddie recommended I purchase this Steinbeck novel.I am now clearly intuiting some of the resonancesfrom over fifty years ago.This gypsy journey is now going on two months.As I read about Steinbeck’s stops along his route,I am sensing another wave of traveling wanderlust.Perhaps I may retrace some portions of his trip.I’ve wanted to see Nova Scotiaand stop back into see friends outside Montreal.I am believing it is time to make a few refinementsTo my traveling home.Next on the list are some saddle pocketsThat will hang under the sides of the camper.These pockets would store a twelve foot canvas lawn tentI place where I could setup office and have my feet on the ground.By the way,my truck-camper traveling home I christened the other day.She is now called by the name, “Rocinante”.This was the Name Steinbeck gave his truck-camper home.I too whimsically borrow this name,the lineage going all the way back to Don Quixote’s noble steed.

Eckhart Tolle on "Gratitude"

Posted by Cullen Anderson on January 13, 2010 at 9:29am

We are talking about a deeper gratitude. There are more superficial forms of gratitude, and that is not what we are talking about. By that I mean, to be grateful that someone else is worse off than you are… sometimes that is a source of gratitude. People say “Oh I really should be grateful, because look at this person – they are worse off than I am, so I should be grateful.” That’s not the true gratitude, that’s the gratitude that is arrived at through thinking, where you compare yourself to others. The deeper gratitude is not arrived at through some conceptual process, where you explain to yourself why you should be grateful. That’s a superficial form of gratitude, that’s not really what it is, that’s ultimately to do with ego. More fundamental than the true form of gratitude is the deep sense of appreciation. It’s not to do with what you are telling yourself in your head, it’s something that you sense in the present moment, it’s an appreciation of the “is-ness” of this moment. We are using words as pointers. When I say “appreciation”, some people might ask “What do you mean by appreciation?” It’s to feel that the world around you is alive, and you share in the aliveness of the world that surrounds you. There’s the outer aliveness, in other human beings, even in your surroundings – whether it’s nature, or even in a room, you sense the aliveness of what’s around you at this moment, through your own aliveness. And with that comes the feeling, “it’s good to be alive”. You appreciate the many forms of life that are arising at this moment. You don’t impose judgment on the form that life takes at this moment, because the form that life takes changes continuously around you – one moment you’re here, the next moment you’re somewhere else. It’s a deep sense of Being-ness, or aliveness, and through that you appreciate what is, in your life. And by saying “in your life”, it always means in the present moment, because apart from the present moment, there is no such thing as “your life”. If there’s something else there that’s not the present moment that you call “your life”, it’s a mental construct. You have formed an image of “me” and “my life”, it’s a story, and you mistake that for your life. Fundamentally your life is whatever form this moment takes. Your life is always what is now. That’s your life. Not some story you’re telling yourself in your head. Through that appreciation, you are sensing a sense of Oneness with what’s outside and what’s inside. There is no longer a separation that is created by excessive conceptual thinking between other people and the self, the separation is created by judgment. There is a sense of allowing the present moment to be as it is. All these are fundamental aspects of gratitude. It’s that openness to the ‘is-ness’ of this moment. With that openness, comes an appreciation for the “is-ness” of this moment. There is no longer a denial or a rejection of what is, because you have some story in your mind that clashes with what is around you at this moment. And that’s how many people live, so they go through life continuously, there’s a clash between their ideas of what should be now, and what is ‘now’. The greatest form of suffering and frustration and non-fulfillment is the clash between the mental story of what “should” be and what is. That’s really the root of the madness. There cannot be gratitude when that operates in your life. When something seemingly negative happens, people may find it very hard to say “Okay, I should be grateful, even for this”. I’m not saying you should do that, because even that is an idea in your head. It’s better to forget about trying to be grateful when something seemingly negative happens, and simply let go of the mental judgment of it, and say “This is what is, this is what happened, and this is the situation now”. If you can be free of mental judgment and denial or projection, complaining, and so on… just allow what is, and then something deeper emerges, even in a seemingly negative situation. By coming into this place of acceptance, of the inevitable ‘is-ness’ of now, your inner state is no longer ultimately dependant on what is happening or not happening outside. That is a vital transformation of consciousness, where the external world no longer determines your state of consciousness. So when something seemingly bad happens, say “this is”. Whether it is a small thing or a large thing, be open to that. If you’re open to the ‘is-ness’ of what is, something within you which we could call “peace” arises. Sometimes it’s very subtle, and you can’t notice it at first. You’re not grateful for the seemingly bad thing, but you’re grateful that you can still be at peace, even in this situation. Internally you feel that by accepting, peace arises. Even in seemingly bad circumstances. And what is that peace? It’s an inner sense of aliveness, being-ness, presence. It’s the source of all gratitude. There can be gratitude even when something bad happens. Not for the bad, but for the fact that even in the face of something seemingly negative, there is still peace in the background. But you won’t find that until you first accept what is. Gratitude is very important. It transforms your whole life, if you can remember the importance of being grateful for life. As you go through your day, every day, you can even have little reminders – of the importance of being appreciative of life. Every person has to verify for themselves, what can I be grateful for at this moment? Sense the being that you are – not just the physical, but the sense of your own presence. That’s a great source of joy, to feel your own presence, it cannot really be defined. That’s the ultimate gratitude.

WINTER’S GRIP ON DEPRESSION

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 11, 2010 at 9:00am

© 2010 Howard McQueenIt is a blustery Sunday morning,white caps forming on the Intracoastal.Pelicans vigorously pumping their wingsseeking to gain ground,flying into a rawnor’eastern wind.Deep blue outdoor umbrellas tightly wrapped,the water, a dullish grey-green castreflected off of a hazy, mostly cloudy,weakly brushed sky.Cold surfaces: glass windows, tiled floors;radiating a cold that seldom penetratesthis far down into Palm Beach Shores.Flags briskly flapping off the riggings ofocean-ready fishing yachts,not an empty slip available.Sea gulls seemingly the only life relatively unaffectedby this rare and unexpected frigid arctic spa.Winter can work its way into our bones,especially when hope is not fully resident.Depression is a guest that by-passes check-in,settling in to nest.We feel depression’s constricting qualitiesmanifest through all our dimensions of being.It is a holistically disempowering state,the warmth of our own heartseeming leaking away and erodinglike the unseen rip-tide,relentlessly carrying awayour sacred beach front shore..Crackling fireplaces,host jacuzzi spa baths,essences oflavender,peppermint andeucalyptus.Snuggling up in bed witha radiant heating blanketa heart-warming moviedeep penetrating resta slow, deep tissue massage,lots of fresh cut, fragrant flowers.All these are tonics to stimulateand relax depressions grip,this chilling banishment from self,this sensing our heartso distant, so remote.The heat pump in the summery bungalow house I am residing in on Palm Beach Shoresis holding the inside temperature at 59 degrees, it was 34 outside. The morning sun is just beginning to stream in, so my housemate and I are huddled in the sunshine, sipping our morning beverages. Tomorrow afternoon I shift locations to St. Thomas for, presumably, warmer weather ;-) .

HERITAGE WITHIN SPIRIT

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 8, 2010 at 10:02am

© 2010 Howard McQueenThe rainbow of addictive behaviors;instant gratification,self-centered destinations,one-way tickets to desolation,uncovering the gold beneath awakened suffering.The dawn of re-discovering awarenessthat spirit is whatbrings the glow,adds the radiance,is the flow of life forceanimating our flesh.Flesh is our sacred home.Flesh, organically grownfrom the shared DNA of all earth life-giving clay,crawling, swimming, climbing and clawing with all its animal urgings.Sometimes it is challenging to dis-identify withthe imposed exclusivity of awarenessthese powerful incarnate flesh desiresto mate, eat-or-be-eaten, to survive -- impose.I am privileged to witness my ownand many other people’s stories,their emergence and extraction of consciousness,awakened from their own personal hellembracing some level of Dante’s Inferno.We are spirited animals,many of us lost in the animalistic urges,as well as in the throes of separation anxiety.Many of us yet to be awakened to the more subtlenobilities of also inhabiting and honoringour heritage within spirit.Let us provide encouragement and compassionas we are able.

EVOLUTIONARY PROCLIVITIES

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 7, 2010 at 9:30am

CLOTHED IN OUR FORMS, YET AGAINThis, the Seventh Day of our Awakening, 2010Writing from West Palm Beach Shores© 2010 Howard McQueenRight there, in the foldof the form and the formless.I am there.So are you.We are intertwined.Separate,yet also connected.Putting on facescrowding into subwaysexchanging glances across the park.Here we are, alwaysin the foldbetween form and formlessalmost startled to say hello,againthrough our new guisesand the life situations we sow,some infinite mix of embracingthe light and the shadow.Right there, where form mixes with formlessness,love rises and setslife is born and extinguished.In the wink of the Oneness,the mind tries to trivialize and explain away,fear attempts to paralyze.We glimpse a shimmering luminescencepeering into the depths of this mystery,of being alive,repeatedly being guided,not always gentlyinto our depthswhere we uncover and discoverour adept abilityto just bepresent in this folding and unfolding,ever-changing, constantly flowing changethis collective, dynamic, unspooling realityknowing we are separateand so inexplicably,energetically interconnected..Knowing this, consciously living as thisbrings forth many stored,ready to blossomevolutionary proclivities.Will the seeds of our awareness be dancing upon this fertile earthten thousand sunsets from now? One hundred thousand sunsets?Will we open to the experience of marveling at consciousnessas it mutates and evolves?Will we serve spirit to each other, so that we grow our becominginto our being?

Habits of Mind

Posted by Bill Walz on January 3, 2010 at 5:56pm

“Our ordinary sense of practical reality…is a construct of socialized conditioning and repression, a system of selective inattention whereby we are taught to screen out aspects and relations within nature which do not accord with the rules of the game of civilized life.” - Alan Watts – from This is ItWhile meditation is commonly understood to be a practice of calming the mind with certain techniques, and entering into a self observant, relaxed yet very alert awareness, in India and Tibet, the concept is more complicated, based in the root meaning of the word as concentration and familiarization of mind. Concentration is the foundation of meditation, but the issue is always: concentration on what? Aren’t we often concentrating, if what that means is training our minds upon something? Of course, yes, and what is recognized in the East is that we mostly concentrate our minds on what we have previously concentrated our minds on, that which we have grown familiar with, been directed to attend to, and what seems to be important to our particular sense of self-in-the-world.Importantly, this can even include our focus restlessly shifting, flitting from thing to thing, thought to thought, emotion to emotion, because this is what is familiar to our minds. We are focused on using our minds in the manner we are personally accustomed to and upon what has been socially conditioned into and out of us. We are living within set habits of mind. It is important to realize that after a fashion we are meditating, that is, concentrating, all the time, it’s just that the meditation we mostly practice is the one of holding together our personal/cultural world-view and personality with its particular habits of mind. This can be called the meditation on self, and is another way of defining ego. It is the story of “me”. We are generating the thought stream of our self-in-the-world with its past and projecting it into the future, attempting to make the story of me turn out the way we want it to, fearful that it will turn out in ways that we do not want. This meditation, or relationship to mind, is recognized in the East as what creates all the difficulties of the human condition.We fail to experience the full potential of the moment, not within the circumstances, the environment, nor ourselves. We think we are present and fully aware of the potential of what is occurring, but how can we be when we are projecting our preconditioned expectations onto the moment? The moment is experienced primarily as a means to an end, some imagined future. It is not realized as the only place that we ever have to actualize our lives. We fail to live deeply, skillfully and perceptively in the present. Obviously, when the present moment is only a blur getting from our past to our future, we guarantee that our lives will be experienced without much depth or sense of placement in life. Our experience is one of obsessive, sometimes scattered, mental activity in a story in time always colored by fears of not being enough. It is a very limited and limiting way to live..What we more commonly know as meditation, however, emerging out of the Asiatic cultures, is the concentrating of the mind and familiarizing it with deeper, calmer and expanded dimensions of mind that are the antidotes to these human difficulties. Meditation training in the Buddhist, Hindu and other mystical traditions teaches us to awaken out of this trance-like state of ego-story-myopia through specific practices, meditations, meant to familiarize the mind with that which is larger than the confines of our personal story, our ego, which after all, is only the contents of the mind, not the mind. These contents have as their source, other people and society. How can this be our essence, who we are at our truest and deepest level?These traditions teach and guide a person to access a deeper dimension of stillness and silence within the mind that is the realm of pure awareness, free of the conflicts of the restless and noisy surface dimension of egoic mind. This dimension of pure awareness and the regions of consciousness that become activated with the experience of unsullied awareness is the realm that religious practices recognize as where God can be realized directly, and what Buddhism refers to as our true or original Self. Recognizing this, these meditation practices both fulfill and then transcend mere religious practice. They become powerful tools for psychological healing as awareness of mind activity and what lies beneath the mind activity awakens an intelligence that is free of conditioning and is able to intuit the true source of self as this witnessing awareness.In all these forms of meditation, a deep calm and capacity for insight often develops as the mind trains itself away from the restlessness and insecurity of ego into an experience of certainty about placement within life. All need for self-justification or to measure up to socially imposed standards relaxes. We are free to be in society, pursuing occupations, maintaining relationships and families, but we are no longer the prisoner of social anxieties. In this way, meditation traditions originating in spiritual contexts can have profound psychological benefit.In Buddhism, albeit practiced by millions as a religion, we find what is fundamentally the most psychological tradition of meditation. Having emerged from the Hindu cultural context that teaches that the Divine (Brahman) is to be found within the human soul (Atman) as well as all of life, Buddhism teaches that the divine source is Nature, the Universe, needing no naming or deification. Nature penetrates all existence, including, of course, humans. Buddhist meditation is meant to awaken the realization that the perfection of Nature unfolds within as well as around what is experienced as self. It realizes that beneath the small self, within the realm of inner silence, there exists a greater Self uncorrupted by socialization into dualistic thinking of inside and outside. Self is then a function of the Universe unfolding through localized awareness in the form of a person. At first glance, this can seem an obscure, esoteric concept, but in reality is immensely practical and liberating.In Buddhist meditation, the mind is trained to “awaken” beyond the confines of the small egoic socially conditioned self, into where there is only Life, and the mind that can comprehend this directly is an awakened mind, untainted by social/cultural training into dualism. The mystery of the Universe unfolds everywhere, including within and as human consciousness. Buddhist practice is specifically intended to bring a person in touch with their own nature and source, free of the confusion and delusion of egoic constructs. Thus, it functions non-dualistically as a psychology that is also a theology, a cosmology, a way of life. One need not be a religious Buddhist to benefit deeply on all these dimensions from its practices. The practice can even deepen spiritual experience that is not Buddhist in doctrine, as Catholic priest Thomas Merton famously discovered.Moment to moment, what we know to be true is that the mind is concentrating on something. The purpose of Buddhist meditative training is to thoroughly familiarize the practitioner with what the mind is concentrating on, what it is familiarizing itself with, what habits of mind are active, and to see how limited and limiting our socially conditioned mind is, literally living within a conceptual prison. Then the practice and philosophy leads a person into deeper and deeper insights as to the true dimensionality of mind. It deliberately retrains the mind into expanded and deeper awareness, able to encompass non-dualistic experience and ultimately awakening into Enlightenment, mind’s true and original nature, completely breaking free of the trance of the meditation on self and social/cultural conditioning, while still free to live a completely engaged and productive life.But don’t let ego entice you into Enlightenment as a goal. In a twist on that old saying from Maine, “You can’t get there from here,” likewise, you can’t get here from there. Just stay with here. Be free of habit, meaning you can use or not use habitual patterns of thought and action, for habits have their uses, but they can also be what trap us. Let your new habit be to hold your habits in clear awareness, seeing them for what they are. Enlightenment is the freedom to see and act clearly, your meditation concentrating on the truth of the moment, the universe unfolding through your experience. You can change the habits of mind. Most importantly, you can change the habit of mind from imprisonment within ego and conditioning into freedom and harmony with life unfolding. This liberation is Buddhism’s “awakening.”` *

ARTISTRY AND SERVICE TO THE AWAKENING

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 3, 2010 at 10:00am

On this second day of the Awakening, twenty-ten© 2010 Howard McQueenThere is a moment in one’s journeyof waking upwhen we real-eyeseverything that came before ushas been used tochampionand quickenour opening,our awakening.This is,all at once,incrediblyREVEALING …TRIGGERINGan emptying outof the rest of what waspersonally held …What happens next …………ARTISTRYANDSERVICETO THE AWAKENING ....... ~ . |||

EVOLUTION ACCELLERATION

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 3, 2010 at 10:00am

(c) 2010 Howard McQueenThe distilled wisdom of the agesis accessible,as are the teachers,ready to guide you -- to transform this YOUas deeplyas isyour passion.to let goof everythingyou know,about yourselfand the worldas you once knew it.It is more than a bit disorienting.Best to get re-oriented soon.Come step into the flow.We are all in this together.There are many ready to serve as guidesin Evolution's acceleration....

BLESSING THE CLOSING OF A BUSINESS

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 2, 2010 at 12:30pm

A friend of mine is closing his business this week. This is a blessing to him and to all the business owners, employees, customers, suppliers ... that are encountering hardship and/or experiencing a closing-the-doors of a business.It is so important to honor the sacredness, not only of our beginnings, but also those things that come to us through endings.We are all so incredibly connected and affected by what we construct and so often, de-construct.HowardBLESSING THE CLOSING OF A BUSINESS© 2010 Howard McQueenSomething you have loved and nourished,this endeavor you have birthedand tended to its needs every single day,with all that you are, all that you possess,and turned into a deep feeling of family,opened the doors to share and celebrate with community,watched it in its adolescence - flourishOnly to now see it unravel,its doors closing.There is this great heaviness, held in the sentiment"closing forever"The "You" who planned this endeavor,way back when it was but a seed of an ideaheld and cupped in your fertile imagination.You knew back then the risks associated with a business endeavor.You've become intimate with those risk realities:- overhead- cash flowand the pressures these measurements can bring uponthe newness, the very fragile-ness of the young business endeavor.There is a raw, disheartening quality in letting goof this entity you and others have breathed life into,contributed in abundance, your resources and spirit into.A dark voice in the shadows is constantly stalking and ambushing uswith the subliminal whispering / whimpering"you should have known how to do better and pull this off".I AM now stepping back from the epicenter of your sceneas well as the epicenter of my scene, when my businesshad to be folded and sold off back in 1996.What we created and contributed to gathered sufficient momentumto be birthed into this physical world. It flourished, however long itneeded to, during its time.What is closing is not us or our spirit, or the deep wellwe pulled our energy and imagination from to start the business.This incarnation of a business we contributed to passes.We are entitled to grieve.HOWEVER, lets not be mixing the natural need to grievewhat is lostwith any poisonous,falsesentiments that "we failed",or that "we could have/should have done or known better".Life is this grand experiment,this vast canvassthat we can paint,and paint overagain and again.There is absolutely no end or finality to our artistry!We may become humbled artists,so ...we paint with a new found, newly earned humility.My humbled brush is still fresh and wet.I keep dipping into this vast, infinite well of spiritwhich I cannot begin to fathom.There is the felt knowing that my brush will never,ever come out of the wellDRY ...Love you dear friend!

DEAR HEALER

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 2, 2010 at 11:00am

(C) 2010 Howard McQueenThere is this vital, life sustaining energetic riverflowing through each of us.It cannot be known by our ego, or our mental effortings.It is not born of a science describe-able by the words or mind of manYou as healer intuitively catch glimpses,these fish from the riverthat you bring back and use to heal others.It is time that you learned the art of fishing these watersfor your own healing.Dedicated to my friend and healer, SG and to the many healers I am meeting on my journey.I am reminded by a wisdom from my teacher (to paraphrase) "We have no idea where the medicine will come from, as it could come from anyone, at any time, in almost any shape or form".

CHARISMATIC SPIRITUAL ATTRACTIONS

Posted by Howard McQueen on January 2, 2010 at 9:30am

(C) 2010 Howard McQueenCharisma, attraction, desire ...Being drawn toward someoneand their words, beliefs, andlets be frank: personality and showmanship.Breathe deeply.Take a sip from your own well.We all benefit from the vision and pointers from others.Lets remember that we always have to:- breathe for ourselves- feel for ourselves- discern and do our own work of transformationAllowing someone else to carry or transport uswith their charismatic "magic carpet ride"always leaves us stranded and dryin the desert of desolation,outside of the radius of our own heartfelt experience.Bring in all external experienceand re-forge these appealing energetic signatures.Some may end up being forgeries,impurities that burn away in the inner smelting process.Those that reveal precious ore,are the raw materials for a newOasis that your imagination will resolve.What an additional treat it isto meet another someonein this newly envisioned,now shared Oasis space!In this Oasis space, we can both sip the fine tea and smell the exotic fragrancesand admire the fine weaving and fabric of these one-of-a-kind, loomed by our hands - carpets, feeling into these with our trembling, set free, naked feet.We rest in the swell of infinite possibilities. We acknowledge we are not in any hurry here to stoke the embers of desire, as so many of the old desires we have chased after are born of passion and so very fleeting. Perhaps we should begin by anointing our naked feet with a fine oil, over by the warming fire. Then perhaps we can recite the poetry of Rumi, then pick up our own pens and write our ongoing story of two incarnating spirits invoking the beauty radiating from a deeper, beyond the personal Love, that is awakening, and consciously being born through honor and integrity.I welcome you to this space, I first dreamed in 2009. The name that finally resolved into a label is HEART CENTERED OASIS. Lets find a time to share and enjoy our company, in this sacred space, or a space of your own choosing, in 2010!

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Note: this page contains paid content.

Note: this page contains paid content.