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ALPINE LAKE IN C FLAT

I meet you first as thisremote and obscure alpine lake,so deeply frozen overyou can barely remember to speak your name.And, in your despairspeak only through the numbness of your painAfter five days sitting with our extended familyYou are transformed by glacial melt,the freeze-dried in-being in you re-hydrates.Some gated portal is thrown openand sacred song from your depths fills the air.You are transformed as Life celebrating mid-Spring.Ancient Irish bands, buddhist troupes andpatches of loving families inhabit your shores.Campfires surrounded by mirth and jubilee are lit,and there are invitations in the airto share in your mystical and enchantingnow effervescent joyful solitude.Another miracle witnessed over the slow motion duration of five days.~ ~ ~
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THOSE NAKED RIVER FEET

Draft Version 1.0 (awaiting editorial review/approval)© 2009 Howard McQueenHere you are again,wearing thosegone-down-the-wild-Green-River-for-a-whole-contiguous-week,completely naked pairof River Feet.What are the town folks gonna say back in NCwith all this wildness seen in foot set free;unbridled even, for the mass hysteria of the world to see.Its almost alarming ;-) ;Heh, heh, heh - not so for me.Happy Birthday S.~ ~ ~
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RE-FRAMING LIFE IN THIS VERY MOMENT

(more from Santa Fe)(C) 2009 Howard McQueenThe energetics alive in this very moment,this unbelievable pregnant NOW,offer us every opportunity to uncover what we need within.Were we to only slow down the framing,stop all manufacturing, management and assorted rearrangingof the energies arising, roaming, loose and afoot.These eneriges often carry a seemingly stalking malevolence.The soul encourages us to embrace theseshut off,excommunicated,held back in fear,partnering secretly with anger, even violent-in-natureCASTAWAYSIts no wonder we so often want to speed our way though our anxious moments.We think we can just keep passing bythe inner wreckage and devastation piling up ever so high..Consider your lead role beyond star of the showand rise up to the Directorshipof this energetic flow,this re-framing of experience.One frame at-a-time.Watch the full spectrum of energies arisename them for what they areespecially those lurking and scurrying about in shadow,bringing confusion, muddling our attention,the truth underneath our inner unrest and division.~ ~ ~This work requires a great deal of patience and skillful art, stepping in and then gently stepping back to allow incremental progress to the awakening capacity for us to face and integrate ongoing fragments, these cast away snippets teeming in the moment - HM (imho)
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BLESSING THE INNER ATTENDANTS

(C) 2009 HowardBe respectful of yourself and your inner landscape.Humbly and hard at work are the inner attendants,sweeping day and night, every so gently.with their hand-made customized brooms,clearing the ashes and debris from the darkest of rooms,dutifully carrying them to the compost bin,to fuel the rebirth energies to ignite and sustainthe unbelievable Love Fest being readied within.~ ~ ~Let WE not forget all these humble inner energies of characters at work on our behalf, all this humble intelligence readied and fully at work, within each one of us. Now, imagine the sheer magnitude of infrastructure energy held in this cosmic conspiracy to let the light shine freely through you, through me. Begins to make the struggle worth while eh! . - HM
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UNABRIDGED INVITATION: 2 EXTEND FAMILY

(C) 2009 Howard McQueenI confess I am again freshly and completely smittento be sharing this unabridged visionof applying unconditional Lovein the adventures and dimensions of the spirit and the heart,with you, Dear Loved One.I say this with a firmness in knowingour Love-vision is out in front of the curve,of this bound-up, imposing restraints-on-love world,at least as we currently know it.Anyone else care to join this small band of smitten brethren,that goes by the name of "The We-in-love"!Its a newly emerging extended family,intent on naming and bringing the light of love into focus.The transport we will be using is God's Caravan of Love.Guarantees: without a doubt, a rough, bumpy and totally rollicking ride of your Life.Minimum requirements: The opening of the heart and willingness to be with this opening, exploring together and learning the subtle arts of staying open, with what arises, in the moment.Contact: Howard@mcq.com 828.280.4780~ ~ ~
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LOVE OFFERINGS

(Synergia energy)(C) 2009 Howard McQueen"Remember your prayers, your blessings and especially those love offerings."Sounds like something we would say to a young one so very dear,so I speak it again aloud, so you will know how deeply my love is for you.We keep offering Love, first and foremost,so it becomes a discernible habit,an orientation to how we choose to participate in this world,how we will remember to contribute.But first, we have to remember the feelings, sentiment and intentforming this vibration of Love.Amidst all the other background noisethe vibration of Love can become obscured,lest we practice remembrance:Through loving we rememberThrough habit, we remember to love.With practice, it becomes EffortlessWe become unattached to any expectation or feedback.We begin notice in the ordinary efforts of others, this incredible practicing of love,And this simplicity of recognition and reflection,flips and trips a switch and a circuit anda fullness is revealedand we are swept away in the flow of energyof Loving all that is.~ ~ ~Inspired by my teacher, MR - HM
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CIRCLING AROUND THIS MOST ANCIENT LOVE

(energy in Synergia)(C) 2009 Howard McQueenThe voice of self-diminish-ment is afoot.Be surprised not, your old habit sneaking around,wondering who will buy into it.If you cannot hide out, in your safety zone,a partnering within will begin to form,an unimagined beauty, so very near home.The intellect boggles the in being,yet something more primal and innocentinvites truth.Admit what you already know in your heart:that the all inclusiveness of Love,brings with it even the burning, suffocating pain.The fabric woven within,provides the function of terryclothto sift and sort out all the impurities brought aboutby blindly believing in conditioning,and even the sophisticated yet chronic intellectualizingthat fosters the cut-oft-ness held in exclusivity.As the alchemical redefinition of Love takes hold,relationshift with everything has a cleanness, a purity.And we humbly celebrate the individual and collectiveharvest of Love, stumbling, even sometimes tumbling in this Divinity.
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GRANDIOSA ILLUMINATI

(Thank you to A and a deep bow P for inspiring this)(C) 2009 Howard McQueenRapture risesthrough the confusionof covered over childhood blissKnow in your deepest being that the Universe conspiresto aid and abet this revolution, even in your darkest of hours.
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THE GIFT GIVEN IN NAMING

(C) 2009 Howard McQueenBeing with whatever is arisingnot matter what it is comprising,or compromising.Stay with it,look at itface-to-faceidentify itand it will reveal its namegifting its power held from you.
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AFFINITY-TOMFOOLERY-LAUGHER, CLENSING HILARITY

(a message from the Synergia Ranch, just outside Santa Fe)(c) 2009 Howard McQueenWe celebrate this natural affinity,to share connection throughthe flowing current of DivinityWere we to stay humblein our foolishness and tomfoolery,judgment collapses in laughter,bringing on a crescendo of cleansing hilarity.May this blessing form blossoms uplifting your heart.~ ~ ~
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WONDROUS TURNABOUT

(writing from Santa Fe)(c) 2009 Howard McQueenI know this body will not function much longerno matter how much spirit is pouredin or outGod bless this wonderful Turnabout,to sense this sublime connection to it ALLwhile I can still be resident with this form.
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WHAT A CHOICE YOU'VE MADE

(Writing from Santa Fe)(C) 2009 Howard McQueenThe choice was madefor us as consciousnessto take up residencein this body,on this earth.There are no WHYS?There is, however, unlimited mystery to taste.There is abundance of freedom to try and slake,even to become attached to the shackles of ball and chain.An unlimited sensing of self we can uncover and manifest,during this cycle, this rhythmic immersion in and with Life.OK. Bring on whatever is to be next!~ ~ ~
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PREPARING THE BED OF HAY

(writing this from Santa Fe)(C) 2009 Howard McQueenOut in the wild and open plainsand among the crevices and canyon walls,wild and spirited horses create their home, and callforth wild yearnings.These completely un-domesticatable spirits do roamdeep within our being.They respond only to a gentleness of handling,the constancy of trust.They instinctually sense the vibrations of deceitand cannot be bought or won, even with bales of conceit.They need not from us, our protections or misguided re-directions.Yet, through spirit, are willing to share their depth of affections.Show them an always open gate,a stable fit for them to rest and visitand through Grace,you may lay with themamong the softened floor of hayand co-consecrate ...And it may come as no surprisethis intimacy with wild and feral life,calls forth the greatest gift of love into your own life.A sharing in partnership of spirit, unbridled,held in two open and interlocked hands,the caterpillar shifts in formto become butterfly, newly born.Miracles abound everywhere ...Even when the fabric of spirit appears tattered,torn, and seemingly beyond repair.~ ~ ~
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TO SELF IMAGE OR NOT TO SELF IMAGE

© 2009 Howard McQueenI recently began an email thread with a colleague perhaps twenty years younger than me. He, like me when I was his age, is intent on making a place for himself in this world. In our discussion, we begin exploring feeling into the concept of self, as in self image. An article he promoted my way reaches the conclusion thatThe Root of all problems – INADEQUTE SELF IMAGE (ISI)The authors of this article show how to map out a reality tree (symptoms, cause and effects and map all this back to root issues, the parent root being ISI). The article goes on to encourage the reader to create their own reality tree. The immediate benefit (IMHO) is that you explicitly begin to construct (perhaps for the first time in your life) a map that will show you your personal conditioning and how it has/is shaping your life. The article then goes on to recommend that to revise and heal your ISI, two strategies are pivotal: 1. Daily Declarations and 2. Super Suggestions. If you are interested in reading the full report, it is available via http://quantum-confidence.com/The_Core_Solution.htm .My own lens of Buddhist psychology reminds me that attachment is the root of all suffering. The presence work I am involved in encourages trauma and conditionings to arise, be recognized and to be present with these shadow “energetic distortions”. One might say that I am working to back-fill these distortions with Love and Compassion. The effect of this work is a continued wearing away, a dissolving of my personal ego to make room for ushering in Life and Love - to have their way with and through me. So, after reading the aforementioned article, what it triggered in me is a restatementThe Root of all problems – MAINTAINING ANY SELF IMAGEIf I had read this above statement twenty years ago (when I was in the heightened state of making my way (“breaking into”) the consulting business), I suspect that it would have been at best confusing and at worst, possibly dis-empowering. I was working seventy to eighty hours a week to startup a new business and was throwing all of my energy and awareness into birthing this new business.So, is there any inherent conflict in allowing these two concepts to co-exist?[Healing anINADEQUTE SELF IMAGE] ~~~ [Not maintaining ANY SELF IMAGE]Perhaps there is not any conflict. What I do see is a rhythm in life, especially in this Western world. There is a sense of urgency of breathing in deeply, to build an ego, to express your “self” and, in so doing, acquire a wealth of direct experience efforting to make specific things happen. Then, at some stage in an individual life, the rhythm can shift to a breathing out, to relax and begin relinquishing the ego and all the attachments that came with the breathing in.Is it counter-productive to build and create something that one then feels compelled to dismantle and deconstruct?What (if any) is the price to be paid for becoming lost in our self-constructed image charade?Is it possible to concurrently feed and nourish a "self" as well as allow a greater "Self" to awaken?There are billions of humans on Gaia. I can imagine billions of experiments going on with this breathe-in / breathe-out rhythm, as well as combining other rhythms of other cultures. I can also imagine the ranks of those working towards no SELF IMAGE beginning to swell, as baby boomers and others, much younger, experience the environmental stresses inherent in the global village circa 2009.I believe these stresses are creating sufficient energy for the mutation of human consciousness. If you also feel this way, or are intrigued and interested in more information and perhaps ongoing dialog, drop me an email howard@mcq.com.My intent is to engage a small community in conversation that will be light and will illuminate, through a sense of playfulness, knowing that there is not right or wrong, just consequences and outcomes that we live with.Here are some ruminations set into our play and playfulness …In one hand, not having an egoic personality / self identity enables us to come from an authentic space.In the other hand, lacking an essential personality might disable us from engaging in the world in new, more meaningful ways.How do we build a capability to be non-aggressive in connecting to our confidenceIndeed, the seemingly paradoxical can only be experientially lived. Ramana Maharshi was no drooling statue, a testament (like Eckhart Tolle) that demonstrates living not under the rule of egoic self.I would contend that a self-identity built around doing / efforting brings certain rewards that are bundled in with the attachments to identity. The die every day and the emptying out of the constructed self indeed de-construct and dissolve the small, separated "self", allowing a deeper Self to flow through the empty vessel. I read your comment "essential personality", and what resonates with me is an energetic response to the external world to survive, thrive and prosper.The human O/S is full of fear and anger over injustices. Our western culture has skipped over most things sacred, in favor of doing more and more, and, all the while, the patina of the ego is stretched, showing stress fractures, as are the individual and institutional structures. Something is way out-of-balance with our practices ...I am all for engaging the world and one's inner self to uncover and share authenticity.PLAYFULNESS AS OUR ART UNFOLDS(stimulated and inspired by conversation with Chris Cade, founder Inscribe Your Life)What would happen if we suddenly adopted a broad sense of playfulness,on the basis of seeing ourselves as mere actors in a play,that have lost their scripts, unaware of all outcomes?I remember when I knew how the world “worked”,back when I felt comfortable and safe.As of late, I live in the not knowing.This is becoming my cornerstonefor the curiosity I constantly bake.How will this path of self unfold over the coming years?Wonderful mentors and teachers abound,experiments readied, awareness waiting to be found.Let the play and playing continue, unbounded.Here Ye, Here Ye, all Bards, brothers and sisters, near and far,know that your stories and exploitswith spirit are welcomed at this door!~ ~ ~
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Hi Everyone,I recently joined the group, and met some of you on a Thursday evening last month. I finished writing this book titled Spirit of Inquiry, it still needs editing, etc. I would like to get some feedback from the community, if you're interested in reading a few short chapters, you can email me at omahawk2@yahoo.com, or just respond to this post with your email address.I hope to meet more of you at a sangha event in the near future. Take care, Roger
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THERE ONCE WAS AN IMPOVERISHED KINGDOM

© 2009 Howard McQueenForm flung forth everywhereSpirit inhabiting and animating formTen thousand rhythms bornInfinite possibilities to play and discoverand feel into the mystery, in every moment uncovered.And yet there is widespread boredom, sadness, depression and anger,enormous urgency born from fear of separation from source.Projecting this outward, we have created an impoverished kingdom,articulating a false sense of scarcity, reflecting the contents of our inner sanctum.While standing in the fertile soil of this Heaven on Earth,Let us choose to rewrite our infrastructure programs, birthing new storiesof love, fellowship, camaraderie, a striving together for a greater glory,ushering in a remembering and intimacy of relationship with self and source.
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RIPPLE IN STILL WATER

© 2009 Howard McQueenLyrics to song "Ripple" by the Grateful DeadThe inner terrain,once full of scary fearbergs,jutting ominously out of unexplored subconscious -mind petrified by fear,locked up in anger.[transformation by perspective shift]Revealed now as the pure white,multi-petaled eternal Lotus Blossom,fed by the pool/fountain/well-spring of spirit.No longer a need to distinguish between inner and outer,as nothing is seen as cut off.There is but one highly diversified spring,radiating spirit, nourishing All.RippleFrom the first time I heard this Grateful Dead song, I was lulled into the Silence of these beautiful lyrics. After I wrote the above posting, one line of the lyrics was whispered to me ... "There is a road, no simple highway" ... . I went looking for the lyrics to read them once more. Jerry Garcia adds a mystical set of pauses and detachment, so the below lyrics do not quite come alive without his unique tempo and dispassionate delivery. - (imho) HMThe Grateful Dead "Ripple" (from the American Beauty album)If my words did glow with the gold of sunshineAnd my tunes were played on the harp unstrung,Would you hear my voice come thru the music,Would you hold it near as it were your own?It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken,Perhaps they're better left unsung.I don't know, don't really careLet there be songs to fill the air.Ripple in still water,When there is no pebble tossed,Nor wind to blow.Reach out your hand if your cup be empty,If your cup is full may it be again,Let it be known there is a fountain,That was not made by the hands of men.There is a road, no simple highway,Between the dawn and the dark of night,And if you go no one may follow,That path is for your steps alone.Ripple in still water,When there is no pebble tossed,Nor wind to blow.But if you fall you fall alone,If you should stand then who's to guide you?If I knew the way I would take you home.La dee da da da, La da da da da, Da da da, Da da, Da da da da daLa da da da, La da da, Da da, La da da da, La da, Da da.
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IN SWEET DIALOG WITH OTHERS

© 2009 Howard McQueenAs I write this, I am in a peaceful state of being,like I have been gently kissed by love.The external world surrounds me, up on this forested hill,a few miles north of Asheville.I have no job to report to,no deadlines or items due.I have prepaid next month’s rent,I have no paycheck to expect.I have two housemates returningfrom their shamanistic Amazon retreat today.I leave in two days for my own formof sitting with self in retreat.It is gently raining.The cat-of-the-house has just paid her respectsafter eating breakfast and has settled in for a nap.The dogwood tree just outside my office window,its leaves now glistening in the rain.I see it has also been affectionately kissed,showing off its air-brushed autumn plum lipstick.In eight minutes the stock market opens.Oops, I just encountered a slight bump of turbulencein my otherwise peaceful space.Settling back into peacefulness again ...One could choose to not be at peace in this moment,allowing the haunting habits of past madness their revisit.I think not ...It has become a gentle breeze to beat peace just with myself,especially since I have recoveredand healed from the plague of loneliness.Ahhh, the freedom,even if brief,to not be elbow deep in other people affairs,just the simplicity of my own.To be at rest and not pulledby the demands of constantly harvesting the reward fruitsoffered by society and its institutionalized,made in the mind-of-man external world views.This, my friends and colleagues,is the sought after solitude of the writer/poet,the fertile ground to wrestle with paradoxes built-up from within.De-spooling the historical weather-beaten era,having lived for many years throwing my awareness hysterically outside-of-self.Writing helps to take it all back in and begin the distillation, the making of a much finer vintage wine.Returning via the sweet dialog of othersSolitude stands out as a place to enter and reside in the silence.But, lets be clear: there is no silence in writing.There is dialog,there is discernment,there are characters to represent,competition for stories to be tagged "the main event".And,there is a deep satisfactionin doing this even for an audience of just One Me.Imagine the incremental satisfactionwhen Me stumbles upon another,now there is we,responding to our writing by uttering words like"The part about taking responsibility for the conflict I find, has played a huge part in finding peace in my life. Then your blog resonated deeply...you articulated what I wish I could have said."... & ..."Such tender-loving words spoken to remind you of the TRUTH of who you are!! Ahhhh, YES, let LOVE have its way with you! It is likewise simply divine to have you as my spiritual warrior brother to share in this work-in-process with."And now you knowyour work invites and invokes other echoes,these new voices, not there a moment ago.And what you find that has been createdis this collapse into intimacy,this infectious quality of connection,even invitation to begin ongoing conversations ...There is something about confidence born in intimate "we" solidarity.It gives meaning, purpose, then the courage and verve to liberate languageinviting a euthanasia to worn-thin identities,bringing about the rebirth of things seen fresh and in plenitude.Glory – Hallelujah!Yes, let it escape.Allow this gift be heralded by others,so you may sit in the solitude of humble retreat,resting in the Dao,centered in the silence,allowing the words to flow freely,without attachment.This is part of the dynamism of inner peace.and back up on top of the hill ...The pussy cat just woke up and rolled over,showing me her soft, furry tummy.I bend down to stroke her bellyas she stretches out.She utters a tiny murmer of thanks and nods off.It is now shortly after 11 amand the outside world clock announcesthat another ninety minutes have passed by.Time to get up and stretch a bit myself,go check on the new garden out front,perhaps see if there is mail.Look and see if the weathermay support a lunch out-of-doors,or at least under the canopy of an umbrella.Life is nothing short of divine.And we have only just,in this very moment,met.Imagine the possibilitiesas we learn to loveeach and every othermore and more deeply.I am already loving You!~ ~ ~
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SELFLESSLY RELEASING ALL IDENTITIES

Version 2.0; Sept 16, 2009© 2009 Howard McQueenIntroductionThis blog posting begins to define my relationship to my Anam Cara (the in-dwelling consciousness / soul friend), as well as the integration of the feedback of an external friend seemingly in distress. The letter is written by my Anam Cara. As the letter unfolds, pointers to larger truths are revealed, and this leads to a sense of a gentle collapsing of all of the perceived energy-of-duality into NO self / (EVERYTHING AS ONE SELF). Then, there is the receiving and just resting with this incredible play of propaganda and phenomena, all this quantum energy arising from consciousness unrestrained .... Mmmmmmmmm!Divine to have other someones to share this work-in-process with. - Howard****Dearest essence named Howard,We are preparing for another trip away,this one for a week at a ranch outside Santa Fe;then five days hiking and climbing off trail,amidst Sedona's energetic red hills, mesas and swales.I have been meditating on what another One-of-Youhave shared with me about life, lived as Separation.Below is a verse out ofStuart Schwartz's fine book "The Great Undoing"YOU MAY APPEAR TO BE FEEBLE,SICK, YOUNG, SOULFUL OR A SINNERNO MATTER WHAT YOU THINKOR FEEL OR BELIEVE,NONE OF THIS IS WHO YOU AREYOU ARE PLAYING A ROLE,INHABITING A LIFESTYLE,LOSING YOURSELF IN YOUR OWN LIFE.****On an attachment you recently read to me,the unnamed author concludes"The Root of all problems -- INADEQUATE SELF IMAGE".I believe this author is at best 50% on target.The root of all problems is constructing and maintaining ANY SELF IMAGE.WERE WE TO REALLY LET THE MIND COME TO REST,THIS ALONE WILL TRIGGER OUR "GREAT UNDOING".NOT EFFORTING TO CREATE ANY SELF IMAGING --IMAGINE THEN, OUR CLARITY OF CONNECTIONTO THE DIVINITY ALREADY SURROUNDING US,THAT ACTUALLY BIRTHED ANDBORE THE ETERNAL "I AM" OF USINTO THIS WORLD OF FORM AND DIMENSION!!!***AND, TO MY EXTERNAL FRIEND:Consider taking these above very simple pointersdeep within your interiorand use this to warm and illuminate all thoseseeminglyself-image fragmentsandseeminglystuck behavior patterns that haveseeminglybecome thick as molassesandseeminglyprovide you with a sense of spiraling downward.Welcome to the GREAT ILLUSIONthat most of humanity turns into a deepening confusion.Let LOVE have its way with you O' Nameless One.Be the LUCKY PIERRE,then give even this held sense-of-self away!!!Your Anam Cara~ ~ ~
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