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Judge Not

Posted by Trey Carland on June 16, 2014 at 7:30am
Dear Family and Friends,

I've been wanting to put something out about judgement lately to shed light on this quote from the Bible, "Judge not, that ye may not be judged (Matthew 7:1)."  Interpreted one way, this implies that "God" is very judgmental (a common theme in Christianity), but, looked at another way, it actually has to do with the mirror effect of Life.  When you judge another, you are actually judging yourself, for what you see outside of yourself is just a reflection of what's going on inside of you.  Another popular analogy involves the use of a pointed finger with the illustration that when I point my finger at another there are still three fingers pointing back at me.

We live our lives in fear of being judged poorly by others (or God), mainly because we started being judged from a very young age.  A lot of it happens when we are enter school and begin being tested, scored, looked at for certain aptitudes, etc.  Often times these forms of judgments carry negative outcomes, which guides us in the direction of trying to please others.  The trick is that we never really know how others see us, so we try to predict or interpret how we "think" others judge us to be.  But we can never really know what's going on in another person's mind.  Even if they tell us what they think, that's being filtered through their own fear of being judged.
We have a few key figures in our lives, such as partners, family members, etc., that we think we know so well that we are absolutely sure what they will think of something we do or say.  But that person is actually a figment of our imagination based on our past experience with him or her.  We see our judgments about him or her instead of who they really are, and we put our self judgements in their mind so that we're seeing a shadow of ourselves in others.
In addition to the key would-be judges in our lives, we also have generic shadow figures that are conglomerates of different segments of society.  These shadows represent people of similar or different nationalities, sub-groups, personalities, etc.  We craft an identity for them based on our judgments of them and ourselves.  "Knowing" how another person sees us, based solely on past experience, gives us the ability to respond accordingly.  The response is basically defending ourselves from negative judgment, whether that means we try to better ourselves or we lash out in a defensive manner to protect the ego.
The fear of being judged is so ingrained in us that it's barely noticeable.  It's almost like each move we make is instantaneously judged by ourselves and our shadow people.  This also explains why God has been seen by many as judgmental.  We created God in our image because that's all we knew.  We can't see what we don't know, which is why there has to be an element of ourselves in everyone we see.  But, rather than debate what God really is, my hope is to shed light on one of the core dysfunctions we share as human beings.
So, "What's the solution to this dysfunctional thinking?" you might wonder.  First, know that you are projecting on another when you judge them in any way. If the finger pointing trick makes a good reminder, by all means use it.  
Then, when you notice yourself judging, stay out of a "judgement loop" where you judge yourself for being judgmental.  That's like beating yourself up for being human.  Instead, you can learn a lot about yourself through your judgements of others.  
Also, be open to the possibility that you are completely wrong as you examine your judgments about others and how they might be judging you.  The end game, so to speak, is the realization that you are completely safe from judgment.  Even if a person openly states a negative judgment toward you, they have just told you something about themselves that they haven't realized yet.  But that's for them to discover on their own and not your job to point out (unless you feel like an argument).  In other words, you're the only one capable of judging yourself and everyone else is just running around judging themselves, too.
Basically, don't take anything personally and don't assume you're right about everything.
Namaste (I bow to the Divine in you),
Trey
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Three New Posts on AwakeningClarityNow.com

Posted by Fred Davis on June 6, 2014 at 12:30am

Hello, everybody! I had a great time in Asheville this past weekend. The town really has become my second home. Betsy and I are talking about possibly buying a vacation cabin up there in a few years. Of course, as with any other story of the future, who knows?

I published three new posts today. I hope you'll come check them out. Also, Awakening Clarity Now has a new Forum. It's only been open a very few days, and already the action is heating up! I have links to everything below. Do come join us.

Awakening Clarity Now Forum

Prime Post: Prime Post: Aligning Ourselves with Truth, Plus an Asheville Session Update

Underpost: 15 Minute Clarity Talk: Addition by Subtraction

Underpost: Letter from the Field: Gratitude

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Our Living Presence is the True Teacher

Posted by Roger Hawkins on May 13, 2014 at 8:02am

 When we project our own inner teacher onto the human teacher, we're unconsciously attempting to confine our awareness to a small, limited part of what we actually are. I say attempting because there is nothing separate from awareness that could confine or limit it. The human teacher realizes that we all need to make that projection to some extent, and knows that clinging to their own personal identity with sometimes unconscious grandiose fantasies of being the teacher, will only reinforce that process of projection in the student.

By mirroring back the natural state of our living presence, which is openness itself, the teacher extends the invitation for us to be aware of the projection process, and allow the vast openness to absorb the self conscious effort of projection. What is the actual substance of self conscious effort? The continual flow of our sensory experience includes the never ending dissolving of our imagined self conscious effort. The dissolving of it reveals there is no separate i, but one Big I shining through everyone and everything.

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New! THE BOOK OF UNKNOWING

Posted by Fred Davis on May 11, 2014 at 1:00pm

Hello, everybody! I published my third book yesterday, The Book of Unknowing which continues the leading-edge work begun in the The Book of Undoing. Undoing was about how-to awaken, while Unknowing is primarily about the post-awakening experience itself--how to clear, stabilize, and live in Awakeness as Awakeness.

There is a free sample chapter available for you to read on AwakeningClarityNow.com.

The Book of Unknowing contains 33 articles that have previously appeared on AwakeningClarityNow.com or other websites, which are freshly edited and introduced by John Ames, author of the well received novel, Adventures in Nowhere. It is available in both Kindle and paperback editions.

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I Want: The Birth of Desire

Posted by Trey Carland on April 30, 2014 at 11:25pm

So, in case you hadn’t heard, our little Adorabella is two years old (hard to believe I know), and is learning the ropes of being a human.  She is talking up a storm and it’s so much fun to listen to her pronounce things.  It’s like she has a foreign accent that you can put your finger on, but she picks up on words so quickly.  She’s a happy little sponge and loves to have fun singing, dancing, smiling, making funny noises, laughing, and let’s not forget crying.  Despite what a happy toddler she is, she has her moments of frustration.  The underlying cause seems to be the “desire” for something other than what’s happening at a given moment.

As best as I can tell, desire is born very early and just gets stronger and more well refined.  At first it’s just preferences (i.e. I like this, not so much that).  Then, entertaining activities enter the picture, like things that she seemingly can’t get enough of.  For example, after we had our first big snow (which she loved), all she could say was, “I want walk snow all day.”  She said this for weeks despite the disappearance of the snow.  She would wake up and look out the window and say, “Hi snow,” even after it had all melted.  It was sooo cute.  She seemed okay with the snow leaving because we didn’t make a big deal out of it.

However, at a certain point desire brings on some attitude.  “I want...” is the way our little girl begins most of her sentences these days.  In some cases, if the want isn’t satisfied, screaming and crying can occur.  That’s never fun, but it comes with the territory, and we’re all learning how to cope with a life that doesn’t always give us what we want.  The only difference is that most adults don’t scream and cry if they can’t go watch DeeDee (Daniel Tiger) with Uncle NoNo (Shelby’s brother Norn).

It’s interesting to see the development of desire through an infant’s eyes.  There can be such great intensity behind not getting what they want, and it’s just a magnified version of the human adult’s reaction.  By the time we’re older, we’ve mostly toned it down a bit because we learn that we don’t get what we want by screaming and crying about it.  In general, we’re taught to ask nicely for things and learn new ways of getting what we want (maybe even by being manipulative).  Ultimately we become more civilized, but we are still adversely affected when all of our efforts fail to bring about the desired outcome.

Maybe I’m naive, but I think humankind has become worn down enough by not getting what we want for so long that we’re ready to be done with the pain that that causes.  That readiness, that ripeness, is where real change can happen.  When we run out of answers, when nothing we do seems to do any good, we may decide to open ourselves up to the unthinkable – give up on desires.  We’ve been crafting them since we were knee high to a grasshopper, so that’s a tough pill to swallow.  Our desires have become ingrained in who we think we are, so you may need to be at the end of your rope before you even consider giving up.  Plus, once you’re ready to give up, it may be too scary or you may not even know how.

Here is what I can offer if you are up to the challenge.  Things are not as bad as you think.  Not getting what you want is more important than getting what you want.  You are not being mistreated or punished by anyone other than yourself.  Take a close look at a desire that seems out of reach and see if it’s actually a need or just a want.  What’s the worst thing that could happen if a desire is not met?  How would you feel if you wanted what you already had?  How would you feel if you didn’t want anything other than what you have right now?  Would you feel complete?  Pick a desire and take a deep look at this.

The mind’s job is to step in here and say, “Without desire I wouldn’t have anything to work toward.  I wouldn’t get anything done.  I’d be stuck, complacent, etc.”  What if your mind is completely wrong about all of this stuff?  Have you ever been wrong about anything?  Be honest now.  What if Life has your best interest at heart and will not steer you wrong?  What if you can’t steer at all?  Can you trust Life enough to let it do the steering?  It already is, afterall.

There is nothing wrong with desire, but if you get too attached to the outcome it can lead to stress and suffering when things don’t work out.  Desires come and go whether you like it or not, so let a desire serve as a sign post and watch to see if it was meant to be attained or not.  If not, no big deal.  You’ve just gained more insight by not getting what you want, and Life may have created a new direction for you, which has it’s own sense of desire.  Life’s desire for you is for you to stop making your happiness contingent on attaining some future goal and to be happy Now.  Everything else will fall into place just as it should and when it should.  Trust me ;)

Yours Truly,

Trey

 
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New Posts on Awakening Clarity Now

Posted by Fred Davis on April 30, 2014 at 10:11pm

Hello everybody! I invite you to join me at AwakeningClarityNow.com for the latest column, Picking an Argument with Reality, or Why You're Cloudy Today. There's also a new 15 minute video post, "Hey, isn't my ego supposed to be DEAD?"

Trey did an hour long interview with me. Here's a link to that page on his blog.http://www.treycarland.com/p/media.html

Also, if you haven't listened to this half hour video on a powerful new clearing practice, why not give it a look? I'm getting a lot of positive mail on it from people for whom it made a difference the very first time they used it. It's growing audience faster than anything I've ever done.  Attention Practice

My next visit to Asheville will be May 31 for an Awakening Workshop, and June 1 for a Clarity Gathering. Get the details on these on the front page of AwakeningClarityNow.com. Until then, be clear!

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I Want: The Birth of Desire

Posted by Trey Carland on March 18, 2014 at 1:23am

Dear Friends and Family,

I hope you and yours are doing well.  Spring is in the air now, I think.  We’ve been teased a bit here in WNC with dramatic swings in temperatures, but the flowers are waking up and reminding us it’s time for us to do the same :)

So, in case you hadn’t heard, our little Adorabella is almost two years old (hard to believe I know), and is learning the ropes of being a human.  She is talking up a storm and it’s so much fun to listen to her pronounce things.  It’s like she has a foreign accent that you can put your finger on, but she picks up on words so quickly.  She’s a happy little sponge and loves to have fun singing, dancing, smiling, making funny noises, laughing, and let’s not forget crying.  Despite what a happy toddler she is, she has her moments of frustration.  The underlying cause seems to be the “desire” for something other than what’s happening at a given moment.

As best as I can tell, desire is born very early and just gets stronger and more well refined.  At first it’s just preferences (i.e. I like this, not so much that).  Then, entertaining activities enter the picture, like things that she seemingly can’t get enough of.  For example, after we had our first big snow (which she loved), all she could say was, “I want walk snow all day.”  She said this for weeks despite the disappearance of the snow.  She would wake up and look out the window and say, “Hi snow,” even after it had all melted.  It was sooo cute.  She seemed okay with the snow leaving because we didn’t make a big deal out of it.

However, at a certain point desire brings on some attitude.  “I want...” is the way our little girl begins most of her sentences these days.  In some cases, if the want isn’t satisfied, screaming and crying can occur.  That’s never fun, but it comes with the territory, and we’re all learning how to cope with a life that doesn’t always give us what we want.  The only difference is that most adults don’t scream and cry if they can’t go watch DeeDee (Daniel Tiger) with Uncle NoNo (Shelby’s brother Norn).

It’s interesting to see the development of desire through an infant’s eyes.  There can be such great intensity behind not getting what they want, and it’s just a magnified version of the human adult’s reaction.  By the time we’re older, we’ve mostly toned it down a bit because we learn that we don’t get what we want by screaming and crying about it.  In general, we’re taught to ask nicely for things and learn new ways of getting what we want (maybe even by being manipulative).  Ultimately we become more civilized, but we are still adversely affected when all of our efforts fail to bring about the desired outcome.

Maybe I’m naive, but I think humankind has become worn down enough by not getting what we want for so long that we’re ready to be done with the pain that that causes.  That readiness, that ripeness, is where real change can happen.  When we run out of answers, when nothing we do seems to do any good, we may decide to open ourselves up to the unthinkable – give up on desires.  We’ve been crafting them since we were knee high to a grasshopper, so that’s a tough pill to swallow.  Our desires have become ingrained in who we think we are, so you may need to be at the end of your rope before you even consider giving up.  Plus, once you’re ready to give up, it may be too scary or you may not even know how.

Here is what I can offer if you are up to the challenge.  Things are not as bad as you think.  Not getting what you want is more important than getting what you want.  You are not being mistreated or punished by anyone other than yourself.  Take a close look at a desire that seems out of reach and see if it’s actually a need or just a want.  What’s the worst thing that could happen if a desire is not met?  How would you feel if you wanted what you already had?  How would you feel if you didn’t want anything other than what you have right now?  Would you feel complete?  Pick a desire and take a deep look at this.

The mind’s job is to step in here and say, “Without desire I wouldn’t have anything to work toward.  I wouldn’t get anything done.  I’d be stuck, complacent, etc.”  What if your mind is completely wrong about all of this stuff?  Have you ever been wrong about anything?  Be honest now.  What if Life has your best interest at heart and will not steer you wrong?  What if you can’t steer at all?  Can you trust Life enough to let it do the steering?  It already is, afterall.

There is nothing wrong with desire, but if you get too attached to the outcome it can lead to stress and suffering when things don’t work out.  Desires come and go whether you like it or not, so let a desire serve as a sign post and watch to see if it was meant to be attained or not.  If not, no big deal.  You’ve just gained more insight by not getting what you want, and Life may have created a new direction for you, which has it’s own sense of desire.  Life’s desire for you is for you to stop making your happiness contingent on attaining some future goal and to be happy Now.  Everything else will fall into place just as it should and when it should.  Trust me ;)

Yours Truly,

Trey

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Worldwide Tele-meeting

Posted by Fred Davis on January 14, 2014 at 11:56am

Hello, everybody! This coming Sunday, January 19, at 1:00 EST, I'll be holding a two-hour meeting via the Open Circle Group in San Francisco. After a brief introduction and a short inquiry, the balance of the meeting will be Q&A. I invite you all to join us--the cost is $10, and here's a link. Open Circle

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JUST SIT - Stillness is the key to sanity

Posted by Bill Walz on January 9, 2014 at 1:43pm

What do we want from life?  Universally, people want happiness.  The problem is that all too often what people think will make them happy fails to do so; it may even end up making them miserable.  We are looking for happiness in things and circumstances and relationships when this is a short-sighted understanding of the true nature of happiness.  It is the most elemental teaching of Buddhism that all things, circumstances and relationships are inherently unstable, and when they change or wear out or go away, so does our happiness.  Because of this, our lives are dominated by continuous movement of action and mind pursuing circumstances that will bring happiness, and this is an invariably failing strategy.

 

There is an alternate translation for the word that is usually translated as “suffering” attributed to Buddhism, and it is, “unsatisfactory.”  This is much closer to what Buddhism is getting at than the overtly terrible experiences we usually attribute to the word suffering.  It’s the itch we cannot scratch, the general feeling that our lives are not as balanced, peaceful, wise, happy as they might be.  It’s just OK – with some sense of an unsatisfactoriness that we are always running from while we run toward what we think will bring us more happiness, or at least, hold unhappiness at bay.  Our lives are marked by endless movement and distraction, beginning with endless movement and distraction in our minds, reviewing and planning our strategies in the pursuit of happiness and the avoidance of unhappiness.

 

So what is this “sitting” that is at the heart of Buddhist practice?  In a way, it can be looked at as a way to work with, understand, and master the restless movement and distraction in our lives, to really get in touch with this “unsatisfactoriness.” We will come face-to-face with this unsatisfactoriness when we sit in meditation as boredom, restlessness, and aversion to just letting things be naturally what they are as  we encounter what it feels like to be still, to stop our habitual movement and searching for stimulation. 

 

We experience that while, for a short time, anyway, it isn’t a problem to make the body still, what we soon realize, in a manner we only dimly understood previously, is how resistant our minds are to being still.  And so, we sit there, attempting to follow the instructions for meditation – focusing awareness on breathing, noticing the activity of the mind and how it distracts us from focusing on our breathing, and returning awareness to the breathing.  Simple instruction, but - it is unbelievably challenging.  Along the way, since we are focusing awareness, and experiencing the breathing and the activity of the mind, we begin to notice the content and themes of the mind.  We notice how judgmental our minds are.  We notice how it has difficulty staying in the present moment, how it careens between past and future.  We notice how when judgmentalism and past and future come together we experience distressing and uncomfortable emotions.  We want to stop this.  We want to be distracted from this.  We want to stop sitting and go “do something.”

 

And then…. As we stay with the sitting, as we stay with the breathing, as we stay with awareness, for a moment, the mind becomes quiet.  There is an experience of balance.  There is a feeling of what it is to just be.  It is spacious and comfortable. It has the feel of absolute sanity. Then, the compulsion of the mind to go back into movement, into judgment, out of time, returns, and we’re back to our anxieties, our tensions, our unsatisfied mind.  A great discovery is made.  We have touched Heaven while doing nothing – not even thinking, - and we have gotten a glimpse of the source of Hell.  We discover that we are capable of happiness and well-being, not as the result of something we do, but by stopping all the doing to discover who we really are.

 

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