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Something that has become undeniable to me, is the presence of a sacredness that is infused within all people and all things.

It is a sense of great beauty that fills my whole being with love. Ever since this sacredness made itself known to me, or any other words, ever since I realized I am this sacredness, or essence, or presence, a deep healing and restoration of true sanity began to take place.

There is a sense that every place of division inside myself is being brought out to the surface, to be seen, and held in the ultimate embrace of love.

It has been a very deep, physical process. All the internal blocks and emotion pain is coming to the surface. At times I feel on fire, like a kind of psychic birth is occurring. There is a tender wound in my heart that is crying and singing in gratitude to finally come home into the arms of love, of god.

There is a deeply sad and crying child inside of me that has always longed to be held and embraced. There is a place of longing inside that has been here my whole life, that is finally being fulfilled.

I truly feel in love, DEEPLY in love.

Love,

Dylan

Where do thoughts come from?  They seem to just appear out of the silence of our mind.  They come in the form of words predominantly, but also images.  No one else can hear them or see them, which makes them very private and personal.  For the most part they are purely unintentional and random, but we take this voice in the head to be the only authority on what’s true and what’s not.  Therefore, thoughts make up who we think we are and who we think the rest of the world is.

Are thoughts really real though?  Can you hear them?  Are they at all tangible?  Think a phrase, like, “I am thinking these words,” and listen to see if they are audible.  Turn up the volume by thinking, “I AM YELLING IN MY HEAD!!!”  Do you hear anything?  Just listen to the silence that remains after the thoughts subside.  As you mentally yell, talk, daydream, etc., there is still only silence, before, during and after all thoughts.  Thoughts are like ghosts from the past, only we think they’re real and true.  No one else knows what we’re thinking, so we’re all living in our own little dream world covered up by invisible, inaudible words that govern how we live our lives.

It’s probably safe to say that thoughts are the number one cause of pain, suffering and death in the world.  Stressful thoughts lead to all forms of dis-ease.  Beliefs, which are simply organized bundles of thoughts, are what fuel wars between nations, and create great strife among people.  People don’t kill people.  Thoughts kill people.  This quote from Eckhart Tolle’s book, “The Power of Now,” sums it up nicely. “The human mind is a complex tool that can be used to solve all manner of problems, but it is also the source of all problems.”

Earlier today I heard my wife say, “Just thinking about it stresses me out.”  That pretty much sums up the source of stress in this world.  “It” doesn’t cause the stress, but “thinking about it” does.  The goings on are not necessarily stressful without negative thinking to accompany them.  Everyday events are just happenings before judgments (thoughts) enter the picture.

Let’s see what happens when we impose thoughts on the play of life.  Think of something stressful, whether it be something that has actually happened or just a hypothetical situation.  It could be anything from an argument or an embarrassing situation you once encountered, or to what you would like to say to someone who frustrates you, or even how you would feel if you lost someone near to you.  Take a moment to feel what happens in your body when you think about that situation...  Does your body tighten up?  Dig into that sensation that the thoughts trigger and feel that feeling in your body...  Do you feel emotional?  Don’t tell a story about how you feel, just see what it feels like to think that thought.

Now, ask yourself, “What’s really real, the thoughts in my head, or what’s here, now?”  Look around at your immediate surroundings.  Don’t label anything, just take it all in.  Is there anything to stress about when you don’t go mentally looking for a problem?  Fictitious scenarios in your head can seem real enough to cause bodily harm, whether it’s in the form of stress, tension, or emotional upset. These symptoms can not exist without the help of thoughts, which we’ve already determined to be less true than your direct experience of the present moment.

Unfortunately, thinking is largely incessant, repetitive, involuntary and counter productive to living a fulfilling life.  However, the challenge here is not to stop thinking.  That would be as maddening as being stuck in compulsive thinking.  For example, when I get a song stuck in my head that won’t go away, it gets frustrating when I try to make it go away simply because I’ve made having it stuck there into a problem.  The mind’s job is to generate thoughts, so they will keep on coming.

However, we spend a great deal of time each day not thinking, and touching base with those countless gaps between thoughts is very beneficial.  Those are the short-lived moments of peace that get overlooked.  “What peace? I haven’t experienced any peace lately,” you might say if you have been stuck in compulsive thinking a lot lately.  But the peaceful gaps are there, and you can find them once you know what to look for.  Then, it’s just a matter of looking as often as you can remember.

How to Step out of Compulsive Thinking

There are a myriad of teachings that can be used to “get into the gap” between thoughts, many of them involve a formal meditation practice, which turns some people off.  I don’t have a formal meditation practice myself, though there are definitely benefits to having one.  Instead, my methods of becoming mentally quiet involve simply directing of attention away from thoughts (the self imposed labels I have ascribed to the world around me) to what lies underneath, and becoming fully present.  

It seems that asking questions of oneself works quite well at directing attention, which is why asking questions like, “Who am I really?” or, “What is looking through these eyes?” are popular methods of seeing what lies below/behind/before thoughts.  In addition to self inquiry, there are a few other questions I’ve found helpful lately.  One is, “Am I thinking now?” Ask the question of yourself, then look at where your thoughts would ordinarily be.  Are there thoughts present now?  Look around in the mind with the mind’s eye (so to speak) to see if you can find a thought....

Most likely you will find only silence when you go looking for thoughts, but if you find thoughts are present bring you’re full attention to them and recognize them as just thoughts.  When you become aware of your thoughts, you assume the position of the witnessing presence that you truly are and thoughts tend to dissipate when that happens, leaving behind that gap of “no mind” as it is sometimes called.  Once thoughts can be witnessed impartially, they lose their addictive quality and can be more easily let go.  Remember not to make getting sucked back into compulsive thinking into a problem, because it’s not until you make it into one.

Eckhart Tolle suggests a very similar approach to silencing the mind, wherein you ask yourself, “I wonder what I am going to think next?”  Then, “Watch the mind like a cat watches a mouse hole,” as he says.  When thought occurs, simply ignore it and return to watching.  This puts you in a state of alert attentiveness that is very conducive for meditation, or simply getting out of your head.

In addition to looking for thoughts, which ironically tends to quiet the mind, there is another little pointer that has worked for me.  Ask yourself, “What is the sound of sunshine?”  Listen closely for it.  Surely it makes a sound, even if it’s so quiet no one hears it.  Direct all of your attention toward hearing the sound of sunshine....

That question points toward the underlying silence that is always here.  That silence is the only real constant in our lives, and it is the peace we’ve been searching for.  It’s always here, right under our noses, before thoughts and ideas start to muddy the waters.  As Byron Katie likes to ask, “Who would you be without your story?”  The simple answer is alert, aware, ever present stillness (a.k.a Peace-Love-Bliss).

In Peace,
Trey

© 2012 Howard McQueen 

All the inner voices,

calling out for attention;

some of them advocating for discord.

And yet,

quietly,

patiently,

there is also a soft voice calling forth from a simple wholeness.

It is not the loudest.

It lacks the drama carried by the other voices.

And, yes, even when you clearly hear it,

you still sometimes clam up into a forced silence,

denying yourself your own wholeness,

and authoring additional suffering.

That you are now clearly hearing the soft voice

is such a fine sign.

You are one step closer to embracing your misplaced love for yourself.

Remain courageous.

Love is at your door

and,

is not to be deceived

and,

is not to be denied

and

is not leaving.

Guardian Angels are thought to be spiritual beings that are "assigned" to assist people here on Earth in various ways. Whether there is one angel per person, one angel for several person or several angels for one person is open to question. But whether you believe in them or not, or whether you want one or not, believers insist that you do have a guardian angel. What is their assignment? According to "Encounters of the Angelic Kind" at Future365 (now defunct), "they intercept at many junctures in our lives and help wherever they can to make our lives run smoothly. Sometimes this is by inspiring a thought to spur us into action, at others it is to lend us super-human strength, such as in the case of a woman being able to lift a car long enough to free her trapped child. Or we hear of a runaway truck, with an unconscious driver at the wheel, inexplicably swerving sharply at the last moment to avoid a bus stop queue of people. In fact, there are many instances, which are often put down to luck, coincidence or even a miracle, but which have the touch of a hand of light behind it." So why don't angels come to a person's aid every time it's asked for? Sometimes, the article contends, "angels must stand back, whilst giving loving support only, as we work things out for ourselves - these are the times when we feel alone, the dark before dawn."

*~* *~* *~* *~* *~*

I give now, unconditional Love and Respect to all who read this message.

Spiritual well-being, and the role it plays in your life, is stronger than you may believe. The word "spiritual" refers to that core dimension of YOU - your innermost self. It provides you with that profound sense of who you are, where you came from, where you're going and how you might reach your goals. Spiritual wellness may mean different things to different people. For some, spirituality may be synonymous with traditional religion, while for others it relates primarily to the quality of personal relationships or love for nature. A basic foundation for spiritual wellness may be the sense that life is meaningful and you have found your place in it. The search for meaning and purpose in human existence leads one to strive for a state of harmony with him/herself and with others while working to balance inner needs with the rest of the world. Many of the behaviors associated with wellness are key components of a healthy spiritual life. Examples include volunteerism, social responsibility, optimism, contributing to society, connectedness with others, feeling of belonging/being part of a group, and love of self/reason to care for self. To cultivate your spirit, an organized religion can provide powerful insights and tools and sharing a religious community can act as a support group for motivation, and education. In many ways, practicing a religion might be thought of as taking physical and mental steps to exercise the spirit. The unity of mind, body, and spirit can have either positive or negative effects on the balance of health. For example, the National Cancer Institute warns about spiritual distress and its effects in those whose bodies are affected by a cancer. (They define spiritual distress as unresolved religious or spiritual conflict and doubt.) A serious illness like cancer may challenge a patient's beliefs or religious values, resulting in high levels of spiritual distress. Some cancer patients may feel that cancer is a punishment by God or may suffer a loss of faith after being diagnosed. Other patients may experience mild spiritual distress when coping with cancer. For example, when prayer is used as a coping method, some patients may worry about how to pray or may doubt their prayers are being answered. On the other hand, a number of studies demonstrate the positive effects of those seeking to cultivate their spirituality.

Article reposted from: http://wp.me/p1iNwq-c9

Spiritual awakening is not always straightforward and well-paced.  Mine wasn’t.  That I am here at all caring for my family, working, able to express my experience,  speak with and inspire others, is to a large degree due to the healing work of Charlie Morris.   This does not mean the other supports,  incredible teachers, teachings and practices I have been blessed to receive are not also very significant.  But the most direct, efficacious and painstaking healing support for my awakening has come through Charlie Morris.

Charlie has put together a fundraising campaign to continue his healing work on Indiegogo. Please take a look and share with others. I would be honored if you can donate something. But most of all please share the campaign with those who may be interested, raise the awareness of this kind of healing support.

There is a real need for this level of healing work now. For example,  Adyashanti discussed many topics in this vein during his last visit to Asheville, NC.   “There are spiritual casualties.”   He quoted research that approximately 25% of people in mental health facilities are in some form of spiritual awakening emergency.   One of my good friends on Facebook recently posted this quote from Adyashanti’s book,  The End of Your World (Sounds True, 2008):

Before I go further with this, I want to add something that may apply to some people. There are some people who have had extraordinarily difficult times in their lives – who have experienced traumatic events that may have caused an even deeper grasping at this root level of being. For these people, the grasping at the level of the gut may be reinforced as they come closer to a deeper stage of consciousness. If this is the case for you, it is important not to force anything. You may need specialized help to deal with this aspect of awakening; it may be necessary to find some way to address the deeper sense of trauma you are experiencing before you will be able to let it go.” (pages 152-153)

This was exactly the case for me,  the traumatic events from my childhood, and even past lives, were still buried deep inside my energy body.   All the therapy, meditation, retreats and practices I had done just scratched the surface of it.  My life circumstances and karmic unfolding brought me to a situation that was virtually untenable. It was a dark time,  yet I was awakening and all my efforts to practice were not keeping up.   One of my best friends told me to call on my angels, to call deeply in my heart for help.  I recognized my own plight and prayed for help. This is when I had the good fortune to meet and begin doing healing work with Charlie. I know there are others like me who can benefit from the way that Charlie works, and our world will definitely be a more open, humane and aware place to live if they can receive it.

© 2012 Howard McQueen

We are each on a journey,

 a journey into opportunities to uncover our courage,

 to encourage ourselves and others

 to look beyond and feel beyond the lenses of what we fear.

A journey to notice that when we contract in fear,

 we close like a beautiful flower

 and we deny ourselves of receiving life sustaining love

 and of giving life sustaining love.

A journey to notice that our contractions point to what we have neglected,

 an ignorance we have clung to

 that encourages us to perpetuate our denying love

 and closing down.

We are each on a solitary inner journey

 where there are constant opportunities to uncover common ground with others.

It is here where we are challenged to encourage connection and compassion,

 seemingly with the outside world.

Yet in truth, it is the opening and occupancy of our inner house

 that enables the eternal spring of encouragement to overflow.

Writing from Dunedin, Florida, while in the midst of packing

VISITATIONS

© 2012 Howard McQueen

I allowed myself to become attached to this house we made an offer on.

   The deal fell through because our house in Chattanooga did not sell.

   Sadness and disappointment came for a visit.

 A week later our Chattanooga house sold

   and we put an offer in on a small, modest house in Fernandina Beach

   and the seller took four days to respond to the offer

   and our realtor called us one day in a tizzy

   and we thought we had lost the house

   only to find that we could accept the counter offer

   which we did

   and a fresh breeze of enthusiasm came for a visit.

There are occasions when we have little to no control of what knocks on our door.

There are many, many more occasions where it is our attitude

   that shapes what comes to visit

   and instigates our wrestling with or hiding from what we’ve summoned.

This posting from Don Miguel Ruiz's entire archive of daily inspirational emails.

"There is no other medicine but unconditional love.  

Not:  I love you if, or I love myself if.  

There is no if.  

There is no justification.  

There is no explanation.  

It is just to love."

Dear Friends and Family,

Our little girl (now nicknamed Precious by me) is 3 months old already, and just keeps getting cuter by the day.  One of the most joyful things in the world is watching her smile and try to talk.  I’m teaching her to say “Hi,” and she has done it a few times now.  Most of the time it’s just cooing.  I could just spend all day gazing into her curious eyes, but there is work to be done.

see photo at http://compassion-blog.blogspot.com

Bella is sleeping more and fusses less than she did in the beginning.  We’re all getting to know one another better, and parenting is becoming more instinctive.  Sometimes I look into her big eyes and the realization hits me again – Holy ____ , this is our baby!  It’s so bizarre and magical to think that we in effect co-created this little Being.  A new life has been born into the world, and I’m staring right at her.  Pure wonder and innocence wrapped up in a miniature human body. How amazing is that?

Anyway, the other night she was having a tough time falling asleep, so I was slowly dancing and rocking with her hugged into my chest while humming some ad lib tunes.  I’ve done this more times than I can count since she was born, but this time something strange happened.  My mind flashed forward to me dancing with her at her wedding reception.  In my vision it was like flashing forward to a time when I was having a flash back.  In my vision I was dancing with my grown daughter and flooded with the memory of dancing with her as a little baby, which is what I was actually doing at the time.  I felt a surge of emotion and started to cry as I continued to hold her and rock her. 

I suddenly realized why many parents cry at their children’s wedding.  There is an emotional roller coaster akin to sadness upon the recognition that your baby is all grown up now, accompanied by a joy in seeing how they have blossomed.  One might also fear that the shared past between parent and child may be forgotten on this new journey and that their bond may be weakened as a result.

I laughed at the fact that I was crying about some future event that may never even happen, but enjoyed the feeling of the insight experienced in that momentary trip to the future, which was made emotional by the past as seen from that future perspective.  To be honest, I really haven’t spent much time thinking about what her life will be like when she’s older, I’m just enjoying being present with her now, as she is.  To be fully present with her is to be in joy.

Thoughts come and go, bringing any type of emotional response.  We really have no control over what we’re going to think next.  We do have the ability to let thoughts take us over or ignore them, though it takes presence and alertness to recognize when we are being taken over by our thoughts.  In this case, I recognized what my thoughts were doing and allowed them to have their way with me (so to speak), knowing that it was all just a play.  I woke up in the dream and allowed myself to keep dreaming because it was a pleasant dream.  Tears of joy are very profound, so I chose to let them come.

In-Joy,

Trey

PS
Oddly enough, when I went to tell my wife what had happened, I got choked up all over again and had to hold back tears and laughter in order to tell her.

© 2012 Howard McQueen

To be heard, calls for someone else to listen.

To be felt, calls for someone else to be open to feeling.

To be understood, calls for someone else to invoke a response that conveys caring, compassion and, we might include - wisdom.

These qualities of communication are conveyed verbally, through body language and, surprisingly, through the inclusion of silence.

When my partner communicates to me something of interest, if I jump in immediately and start adding my ideas to the conversation, she is likely to believe that I’ve not fully acknowledged, or understood her or her idea.

Perhaps my rush to respond comes from wanting to appear clever. 

Perhaps it is me wanting to be "quick" to respond. 

Perhaps it comes from my habit of falling into automatic brainstorming.

Each of these indicates that I am often not responding from a place and space of  being fully present.  Because of that, the person I'm in conversation with may feel short-changed.

Ever felt short-changed in a conversation?

Looking back, can you sense when you’ve short-changed someone else?

Why be in a hurry?

Why compromise the quality of communicating with another?

“Force of habit” you might say.

“Because I’ve been repeatedly treated that way” we could all agree to say.

OR, we can agree to begin to see all these habits and patterns as impediments to each of us gaining a deeper understanding and love for ourselves, and our fellow humans.

Becoming aware of these impediments is an invitation to shine the light into dark recesses within ourselves, to light-up the fear, to face and wrestle with the demons living in our mind. 

Honesty is our trusted ally, a new agreement we can make with ourselves and with each other, that begins to compliment and bring back a depth and un-rushed flow to our communications.

As we begin to communicate honestly, and relying upon the use tools of listening, tuning into the body language and feelings, we can slow down and encourage each other to enter into the silence --  and then respond.

You may find that by honoring a moment of silence, a sacredness arises.

In the presence of this sacredness, the habits of discounting one another, or hurrying to try and fix someone by tossing out advice, begin to dissipate.

Perhaps more and more of us will begin focusing on honoring the quality of our inward communication with ourselves as well as our outward communications with others.

 (C) 2012 Howard McQueen

Are you willing to let in all the light

 and all the darkness,

 without forming judgment.

Are you willing to be present with all our separation

 and all our inter-connection,

 without forming judgment.

Then welcome, friend, to the field of enlightenment.

(C) 2012 Howard McQueen

I don't know about you,

but my own attempts at letting go

often leave claw marks

in what I finally release.

I have this tendency to hold on so

to that which repeatedly signals me

that it is well past my time to let go.

I find myself to be the author of this inner struggle,

this inner conflict

not wanting to recognize the ever-present

shift in all things external,

not remaining pliable,

and not remembering that I am immersed in the great cosmic flow.  

© 2012 Howard McQueen

We come face-to-face with suffering,

in order to earn the choice to relinquish our control.

What we encounter is life’s ongoing invitation

for us to release control

and trust in it’s flow.

Do we choose to let life open us to the gifts of growth,

possibilities we can only begin to fathom?

Or, do we postpone, till

our expectations for some very specific outcome

are not met,

and our sense of security,

of wanting to hold on to our personal control -- challenged.

Our mind makes all manner of anxiety out of all this,

until,

we reflect upon the many, many times

our letting go has paved the way for growth,

and understanding

and a maturity of perspective

that,

in and of itself

fosters an inner confidence.

A confidence that we can not only face what life flows our way;

a confidence that we can meet and participate and share with others,

the hardships and joys that will continue

as we choose to let go

and place ourselves, again, and again,

into the flow.

Inspired by a breakfast meeting with Dan Emmons at Margeurite's Cafe; Dunedin, Florida

© 2012 Howard McQueen

Not escape from,

or eradicate,

or divorce ourselves from.

To co-exist with

the fear,

the urge to control,

the need to confine through defining;

to encourage the subtle to emerge

and achieve expression - to be birthed into this world.

To co-operate with

rather than resist

the evolutionary urge.

To actively follow the sense of urgency

and usher in subtler and subtler possibilities.

To bootstrap each other out of our respective

pits of despair

and darkness and the densities

surrounding our living out of control;

to taking control,

to take the next step

beyond the threshold

and participate

in actively following

whatever is needed;

to shift the ego’s cry

from

  “I want …”

to

  “What’s needed is what I want to actively follow and help to manifest”.

That which is subtle

becomes visible

becomes heard

becomes felt

as we shift ourselves to a different vantage point,

a new level of sensitivity and receptivity

a willingness to trust in what wants to unfold.

Inspired by a breakfast meeting with Dan Emmons at Margeurite's Cafe; Dunedin, Florida

© 2012 Howard McQueen

Not escape from,

or eradicate,

or divorce ourselves from.

To co-exist with

the fear,

the urge to control,

the need to confine through defining;

to encourage the subtle to emerge

and achieve expression - to be birthed into this world.

To co-operate with

rather than resist

the evolutionary urge.

To actively follow the sense of urgency

and usher in subtler and subtler possibilities.

To bootstrap each other out of our respective

pits of despair

and darkness and the densities

surrounding our living out of control;

to taking control,

to take the next step

beyond the threshold

and participate

in actively following

whatever is needed;

to shift the ego’s cry

from

  “I want …”

to

  “What’s needed is what I want to actively follow and help to manifest”.

That which is subtle

becomes visible

becomes heard

becomes felt

as we shift ourselves to a different vantage point,

a new level of sensitivity and receptivity

a willingness to trust in what wants to unfold.

© 2012 Howard McQueen  

 

Today I am making an agreement and a vow:  

 

I release myself, in perpetuity,

from any further involvement in my own,

as well as other’s blame-shame games.

 

Blame-shame games 

are loose-loose, 

full of subterfuge, 

failures to bring 

into illumination 

the lurking pain, 

fear and confusion 

underpinning our lives.

 

These patterns 

we turn to, 

like trusted advisors, 

when we feel stressed.

 

These patterns we learn, 

then mentally obsess upon

and practice till we have them down pat.  

 

When we deploy them, 

we rob ourselves

of the freedom 

to choose,

to embrace 

our  wholeness,

and our connection 

to compassion.

 

Next time you feel yourself

turning towards the blame-shame syndrome,

pause and reflect.

There is no longer any need

to turn to using these smokescreens

that just add to the confusion.

Instead, help to diffuse the illusions we spread.

Pristine Shades Of Being

The world has always been
A magic show
Made of sand
In a wind storm
Made of wood
In a blaze

How can you awaken
To what has always been?
You who sport with
Sleeping and waking
Pristine shades of being

We've started a basic Triangle area website, to share information about Durham/Chapel Hill retreats and Satsangs.   Right now it is a simple Meetup.com group which let's us get the word out about events in the Triangle area. 

Thanks to Cullen and Trey for their advice on creating a "sister site" to the Asheville Sangha!

Teala